Oh the fucking joys of facebook

[Namaste]

Aren't misunderstandings over the internet just stupid?

I don't wanna go to this event because all people do is take drugs and I'm yet to meet somebody there who is in reality enough to hold a conversation because people are on acid. Anyway, we went there loads in summer and I am bored because it simply is a place to do drugs... There's no way around it, there's nothing else to do but get fucked and look at pretty lights.

My mate only ever comes to London for these raves now, that's fair enough. I have no issue with drugs taking, but I am bored as fuck with this event because it seriously just really small with nothing to do but get wasted and I'm sick of necking pills and hearing the same music. So on the day they were going, I decided to go to a more sober place and they seem let down because one of them is leaving to go home over Christmas, then coming back in the new year to do that event.

Also, my mental health has not been great so I need to be avoiding tose places.

It's also the weekend before my birthday and I am planning on doing this for my birthday because I am too busy to really celebrate my birthday. Anyway, I've explained I am bored to my friend of event X because it's just a place to do drugs and I wanna go somewhere else. Now she seems to think that I am calling her a druggy or something and think she is just going for the drugs...

And then accused me of being sarky on her wall (but I write colloquially and think she has taken things out of context), then put something on my wall about the fact I've gone to a place with that scene... I've told people over and over that my boss ad other important people are on my myspace network and she did it on purpose. It could potentially fuck up my career and my reputation... So why the fuck should she do it?

Now I LOVE my friend... I have no idea what I've done wrong or where I'm implying that she's a druggy. I've explained I'm unwell and need to be away from that for a while... But I don't wanna fall out and don't understand why people want me to go and do drugs with then so bad... Quite frankly, I would rather go to the community event I'm going to, have a lovely night sober and talk to my friends and meet new people.

So any ideas on what to do? I'm not kissing ass too much because some people thrive on that shit...

Anybody else think Facebook/Myspace misunderstandings are stupid?

Any stories of your own about internet fallouts?

[go_away]

I think at the moment with the stress you have been under, you're well within your rights to just think about youself and get on with it. If you want to speak to this friend of yours, I'd suggest giving them a call or try and meet up with them if you have time rather than sorting it out online, as it's difficult to convey feelings and emotions (often why misunderstandings start in the first place).

[Namaste]

Originally Posted by go_away

I think at the moment with the stress you have been under, you're well within your rights to just think about youself and get on with it. If you want to speak to this friend of yours, I'd suggest giving them a call or try and meet up with them if you have time rather than sorting it out online, as it's difficult to convey feelings and emotions (often why misunderstandings start in the first place).

Yeah totally...

But tbh, since she posted that about drugs on my wall... As much as I love her I can't trust her not to do it again. It could get me in to trouble and my reputation is really important to me.

[go_away]

If she's going to risk things like that, then delete her. It's only facebook (well, it's not, social networking brings about a whole load of crap, especially if you delete people, you'd probably get a better reaction if you set her house alight and kidnapped her pets) but careers and relationships can be destroyed by things like that.

[Namaste]

Originally Posted by go_away

If she's going to risk things like that, then delete her. It's only facebook (well, it's not, social networking brings about a whole load of crap, especially if you delete people, you'd probably get a better reaction if you set her house alight and kidnapped her pets) but careers and relationships can be destroyed by things like that.

Yeah exactly... Future employers look at it too.

[go_away]

That's me fucked then although I have really tight privacy settings, but that's more to do with paranoia of idenitity theft!

Do you know what you're going to do?

[Namaste]

Originally Posted by go_away

That's me fucked then although I have really tight privacy settings, but that's more to do with paranoia of idenitity theft!

Do you know what you're going to do?

No... I wrote her a message last night saying I'm sorry if it looked like I was being sarky and I'd never judge her for her drugs use and don't wanna lose her friendship, but I'm not going to the club.

I'm pissed off at her, but don't wanna burn bridges.

I'm sick of people dicking me round.

[I'm With Stupid]

I changed my relationship status from Single to nothing, and within an hour I'd had a text saying "so who's the lucky lady?" because all that comes up on Facebook is "I'm With Stupid is no longer single." But yeah, this is precisely the sort of nosey fucker I got rid of my relationship status for. Plus to wind my sister up, who thinks that the girl on my profile picture is my girlfriend.

[Namaste]

Originally Posted by I'm With Stupid

I changed my relationship status from Single to nothing, and within an hour I'd had a text saying "so who's the lucky lady?" because all that comes up on Facebook is "I'm With Stupid is no longer single." But yeah, this is precisely the sort of nosey fucker I got rid of my relationship status for. Plus to wind my sister up, who thinks that the girl on my profile picture is my girlfriend.

LOL

I got a few of those!

Yeah, I think te internet is a good place to cripple relationships.

I'm just bummed that people are hurt that I wanna spend my birthday somewhere different and that I wanna keep away from that scene.

[Scary Monster]

Can't really help on the friend thing, but sounds like you need to sort out your facebook.

There are loads and loads of privacy settings. Anyone with any sense has their profile restricted so only their friends can see it (step one in solving the future employer problem), and then anyone with lots of sense goes on to restrict their profile to certain people, parents, colleagues etc so they only see the limited profile which means that drunken wall witterings and daft photos are kept safely out of site.

Worth looking into.

[**Helen**]

Originally Posted by Scary Monster

Can't really help on the friend thing, but sounds like you need to sort out your facebook.

There are loads and loads of privacy settings. Anyone with any sense has their profile restricted so only their friends can see it (step one in solving the future employer problem), and then anyone with lots of sense goes on to restrict their profile to certain people, parents, colleagues etc so they only see the limited profile which means that drunken wall witterings and daft photos are kept safely out of site.

Worth looking into.

'fraid so. Someone I know has decided not to have a wall at all which actually isn't such a bad idea as friends can still message you and stuff. It's really easy to ley your mind wander and read into everything you see on these sites, but more often than not there's a simple explanation for everything. The good thing is you can delete those comments she made (if you haven't already).

Anyhow, I think you're making the right choice for event to go to on your birthday and hope you have a top time

[Namaste]

Originally Posted by **Helen**

Anyhow, I think you're making the right choice for event to go to on your birthday and hope you have a top time

Me too... There's only so many times you can go to a place and stare at a wall listening to the same music whilst feeling spaced out.

I just don't wanna lose a friendship over somebody misinterpreting (or distorting for guilt effect) my words.

[Ricardo R]

Originally Posted by Namaste

I've told people over and over that my boss ad other important people are on my myspace network and she did it on purpose. It could potentially fuck up my career and my reputation... So why the fuck should she do it?

Oh reputation reputation, is that all you give a shit about? Are you shallow enough to care less what people think of you? If employers are going to snoop on you then they're not worth working for.

(Note: This is a sarcastic dig at a lot of people here who seemed unattuned to how the real world works. Serious advice: get rid of your Facebook wall so people have to private msg you instead, nothing harmful can ever be used against you that way.)

[stargalaxy]

Internet fallouts? I could write an entire fucking book about the number of fallouts I've had on this site alone!

The only thing to remember about websites such as MySpace and Facebook is, you never know who's looking. A potential employer may well be looking. Any pictures on there can also be used by the media if you're ever involved in a story. Hence the way that Wednesday's tabloids this week all featured pictures of Amanda Knox and the other suspects in the death of Meredith Kercher, mostly grabbed from the MySpace website. An extreme example, maybe, but evidence that you never know who's looking at your profile.

[Namaste]

Back talking to her...



We both appologised. I guess stress makes you snappy.

I love my friend