first draft...

[curly_boy]

hey all
i've recently written these lyrics, just wondered what u thought of them, its for an acoustic song so yeah

Give Up Forever (just for a chance)

When I see her eyes
she creeps into my soul
I don’t know if I can take this any more
I need something, this is out of line,
does she know the way I feel

I’d give up forever just for a chance
I’d do anything to hold her in my arms
To touch her would be bliss and
To see her would be heaven tonight
Everything’s meant to be broken but I’d give up forever

She gives me butterflies
that I know I’ll never forget
I’m missing her so much
I’ll say I’d do anything and I will
none of this seems to matter when I get to hold you

I’d give up forever just for a chance
I’d do anything to hold her in my arms
To touch her would be bliss and
To see her would be heaven tonight
Everything’s meant to be broken but I’d give up forever

And I’m wasting away, away from her
what have I gotten into this time
I’ve never seen a smile like hers
you had me at hello…

[notanotherusername!]

I really like that.

[grace]

It's .. nice.

I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing

Does it have a tune yet..?

[adogwithsunglasses]

i'm not 100% sure about 'give up forever' but the rest of it is really good.

[curly_boy]

Originally Posted by adogwithsunglasses

i'm not 100% sure about 'give up forever' but the rest of it is really good.

how do u mean, u don't like the sound of it or the title?

and i'm writting the chords tonight, will record and put up if i can sing it (i can sing but peoples ears will bleed)

[curly_boy]

Give Up Forever (just for a chance) (revised version just an extra line)

When I see her eyes
she creeps into my soul
I don’t know if I can take this any more
I need something, this is out of line,
does she know the way I feel

I’d give up forever just for a chance
I’d do anything to hold her in my arms
To touch her would be bliss and
To see her would be heaven tonight
Everything’s meant to be broken but I’d give up forever
for just a chance with her tonight

She gives me butterflies
that I know I’ll never forget
I’m missing her so much
I’ll say I’d do anything and I will
none of this seems to matter when I get to hold you

I’d give up forever just for a chance
I’d do anything to hold her in my arms
To touch her would be bliss and
To see her would be heaven tonight
Everything’s meant to be broken but I’d give up forever
for just a chance with her tonight

And I’m wasting away, away from her
what have I gotten into this time
I’ve never seen a smile like hers
you had me at hello…

[adogwithsunglasses]

yeah i think 'just for a chance' is much better title. second version is spot on imo

[curly_boy]

GAHHH! why is writting chords being so fucking difficult tonight...
got the intro written and just part of the verse after a good session of around 2 and a half hours of trying to write it...DAMN IT lol

[curly_boy]

finished one song and written another set of lyrics
I think these are way better
tell me waht u think:
underlined means i think that i should change it

A street full of distractions (title btw)

chorus:
I'll walk the curbside
stealing kisses as i go
And i'll take my island with me
so i'll see you from a distance
and i'll keep my distance at the best times

Verse 1:
Early in the morning
old dreams echo, through my head
the sun shines while my dreams echo (possible change?)
they echo of you
and woah, whats beyond this door
?for you and me?----------------------------think this should be between every verse and chorus?

Verse 2:
And woah, you groove, you lose
the music keeps me going
this streets full of distractons
but darling are you, are you okay as i sing this for you
(i think this needs more)

Verse 3:
And darling, i know you see
from a very diffrent way/view
but i can't help this
whistle while i'm waiting
on a street full of distrations...


so there you are, my second set of lyrics for an acoustic song, i've found a singer /guitarist and he wants to start an acoutic band so watch out jedward, we're taking u down :P

[PreciousAndLoveIt]

It's really good. Looking forward to the finished product x

[notanotherusername!]

You well have to put it here once its done!