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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
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    BMW Driver (joke thread!)

    BMW Driver

    The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars. First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! (The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.)

    Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane. (Why do underlings use this lane? Surely everyone knows it is for BMW drivers only?) Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph! Naturally, I got to within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way. Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me!

    He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car. Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast!

    Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my driver's licence to a Police Station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £200 each and I was only allowed 3). But the man at the Police Station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me!

    See, now THAT's the sort of respect you get when you buy and drive a BMW!


  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Elysium
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    1,207
    Yes. This seems to fit in with the image of the Managers and Sales team at my company. My boss got six points in the space of three weeks!
    LEGENDS IN OUR OWN MINDS



    I.N.K. Inc

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
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    Originally posted by Cheezie Grin
    Yes. This seems to fit in with the image of the Managers and Sales team at my company. My boss got six points in the space of three weeks!
    And I trust you have copied and pasted this into an e-mail and it's winging its way round your office quicker than you can say "put you hands on the bonnet and assume the position"

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Location
    Just outside of sanity
    Posts
    17,332
    Originally posted by NinjaMaster
    "put you hands on the bonnet and assume the position"
    Which brings a picture to mind that I know you didn't intend...

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Elysium
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    We got something more humourous! I got a picture of the 'net that said "WANTED Speedy Gonzales" with a picture of the little mouse in the middle. Took a picture of my boss and put it over Speedys! We got the police camera picture underneath it for further humiliation.
    LEGENDS IN OUR OWN MINDS



    I.N.K. Inc

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    On a secret mission.
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    Originally posted by Cheezie Grin
    We got something more humourous! I got a picture of the 'net that said "WANTED Speedy Gonzales" with a picture of the little mouse in the middle. Took a picture of my boss and put it over Speedys! We got the police camera picture underneath it for further humiliation.
    Cruel but all the same

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