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Thread: Trust Issues

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
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    21

    Trust Issues

    I have had trust issues with everyone for ages now... one moment I could trust someone and feel able to confide in them about anything and one argument or one thought in my head which'll grow and grow, and that can completely go, then taking ages to begin to trust them again...

    So how do u stop yourself from believing people are against you and keep your trust in them?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    malta
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    Hey luckystarr i had a problem it's a little bit like yours and i don't know why maybe because i'm stupid :/ .
    Well i am a very shy person even when it comes to family people. I had a friend from school and we used to tell each other things that even my parents don't know about. But after we hang out for some time i stopped going out with her. Now i don't have any friends, i'm all alone .
    Though i have a problem like that with my sister we used to tell everything to each other and i confide in her everytime. But when we argue about things that made me more trust her less. Now i stopped confide and telling her stuff all i do is keep everything to myself.
    All i can say is that everyone argue sometimes but that doesn't mean that you can't trust them. It depends on what you argue about. Sorry i can't be of any help, it just that my stupid brain is so stupid

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    malta
    Posts
    312
    Hey luckystarr i had a problem it's a little bit like yours and i don't know why maybe because i'm stupid :/ .
    Well i am a very shy person even when it comes to family people. I had a friend from school and we used to tell each other things that even my parents don't know about. But after we hang out for some time i stopped going out with her. Now i don't have any friends, i'm all alone .
    Though i have a problem like that with my sister we used to tell everything to each other and i confide in her everytime. But when we argue about things that made me more trust her less. Now i stopped confide and telling her stuff all i do is keep everything to myself.
    All i can say is that everyone argue sometimes but that doesn't mean that you can't trust them. It depends on what you argue about. Sorry i can't be of any help, it just that my stupid brain is so stupid

  4. #4
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    Sep 2012
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    malta
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    Sorry don't know how to delete the second post :/ . It came posted twice don't know why

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    6,024
    Hello LuckyStar,

    How are you? A massive well done for posting, you should be proud of yourself, reaching out for support can be difficult when trust is a big issue in it, I'm not to sure what I want to say, but I wanted to respond anyway, I'm sorry you're struggling with trust issues so much at the moment, I can imagine how daunting and stressful that must be for you...

    Trust is something that takes a very long time to build up, and also seconds to break, but then trust is, relying on your friend/partner whom ever, to keep that bond, as well as you keeping it, through arguments and what not. I have a similar issue with trust, but me and my therapist work on it, through Mindfulness and just relaxation, as well as talking through what barriers might be in the way...Are you in therapy?

    I guess there's also quiet a bit of anxiety behind trusting someone to, I find my anxiety a massive factor in trust, how about you? Anxiety is quiet an unpleasant feeling which can get in the way of things we want to do as well, one being confusing in friends.

    I guess to stop negative thinking, it might be worth speaking to your GP about getting in to therapy, they can help you rationalise, irrational thoughts, and work with you on alternate issues, as well as creating a bond with you...It took me a few months, before I actually learnt to trust my therapist, but trust me, it really helps, not only with trust issues, but with your confidence and anxiety, which can also be factors in trust issues!

    So once again, well done for opening up, you should be very proud of yourself and welcome to TheSite.org boards

    Angel
    And if you can’t see anything beautiful about yourself. Get a better mirror. Look a little closer. Stare a little longer. Because there’s something inside you. That made you keep trying. Despite everyone who told you to quit. You built a cast around your broken heart. And signed it yourself. You signed it..
    “They were wrong”
    Shane Koyczan


  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    21
    I currently have counselling, and have done for a few years, and have constantly had issues with trusting my counsellor and even tho I've been told I can trust him and he won''t let me down (pretty much all adults have let me down in the past and he knows this) I still find it hard to keep trust with him.

    Thinking on it yes I do think anxiety plays a part in it, because it's usually when I feel I can trust him thay I start getting worked up about him giving up on me and being just like every other adult I've known, and then the arguments start more or I take stuff he says the wrong way and the trust is lost...

    But at the moment even friends that have been really supoortive of me for a while I'm starting to doubt whether I can trust them or not... and it is causing a lot of problems and I would like to be able to trust people without these issues but I get one thought in my head and it eats away... to which I then decide its better to not trust them than have them give up on me first or let me down...

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