Hide this page

Local Advice Finder

Find local services

+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 40
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    2,687

    Not sure what to do

    My relationship came to an end yesterday. I feel horrible.

    We've had our problems, but this came out of the blue. He was meant to be coming round this weekend. Monday we planned what to eat so I could buy stuff from the supermarket, Tuesday he said he was looking forward to cuddles and Wednesday he said he'd bring another one of his tshirts for me. Thursday I'm dumped.

    He's done so much to hurt me, but I can't be angry. He dumped me back in March and then slept with someone 1 week later. He tried to break up with me over the summer shortly after I found out my dad was ill (similar circumstances - day before he was meant to be coming to mine for the week). Afterwards he promised me that he wouldn't hurt me like that again - tell me that things were not good so we could talk about it. I'm angry with myself. He said he loves me and that I made him happy but he wasn't happy with us. What is so wrong with me? What makes me so poisonous that means I can't be with anyone?

    This is just the last straw really. I don't know how I can survive the next week. I doubt I'll go back to uni. I'm on the train home now. I don't have any friends. My housemates are nice sometimes but a lot of the time they make me feel worthless - cancelling stuff we've planned to do stuff with other people etc. I don't think anyone enjoys my company. My boyfriend doesn't even want to talk to me again, just me being around is bad for him. I shouldn't be here, I make everything worse for everyone.
    There's only one way of life
    And that's your own, your own, your own

    One Way - The Levellers

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    South East
    Posts
    8,105
    I'm on my phone at the moment so can't really reply in detail, but I wanted you to know I've read your post and I'm sending you massive hugs. I'll reply again when I'm at a computer xxxxxxx
    The headlights from passing cars
    They illuminate my face then leave me the dark
    The voice of Nirvana says, "Come as you are"
    And I will
    My blog

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,369
    There is nothing wrong with you, and you don't make everything worse for everyone. Remember that there was 2 people in the relationship. Don't take on all the guilt about it ending, he had a lot to do with it too.
    I know you probably still love and care about him, but he sounds like a user, a creep who can't deal with the series stuff.
    Even if you don't feel like it now, you're best off without him. You should be with someone who truly cares about you, who can share the tough times with you and make you feel amazing.
    I know what I'm about to say might sound silly, but I think there is a person out there for everyone. Someone deserving of your love and time.
    I think sometimes we just fall out of love, or weren't in love to begin with. Relationships take a lot of hard work when there is stuff going on in our life's, but I believe nothing worth having comes easy.

    If I was one of your housemates there's no way I would break a promise or make you feel worthless. I hate it when people do that, it doesn't take much effort, a kind word or listening doesn't cost anything. That's one of the best things about thesite; you can always find a caring friend here.
    Hang in there hun, one day you'll meet someone out of this world and forget all about what's his name. xx
    I am who I am, and if you don't like it then that's your problem.
    -Not sure who said this!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    7,392
    Hugs.

    There is nothing wrong with you, hating to be simple, but your not the first or last person to be dumped. If everyone who got dumped was worthless and not worth being with to anyone then most of the population would be single.

    It sucks. It really sucks and it really shit, but it wasn't being with him tha made you worthwhile. You're a wonderful person all by yourself.
    Growls

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    2,687
    But normally people get dumped after say a week or two of arguments or after a month of not really having feelings for the other person. I get treated like shit by someone who is meant to still love me - get lead on looking forward to something for weeks and then get told the day before not only is he not coming but I'm dumped. Twice.
    There's only one way of life
    And that's your own, your own, your own

    One Way - The Levellers

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,369
    My sister might kill me for saying this, but not long ago she was dumped for no reason. Like you it came out of the blue, he was even talking about getting a family sized car a few weeks before. None of us can understand why. We got on with him, and my sister got on with his family. His mother practically adopted my niece as her granddaughter. No one knows why he did it. We do have a rough idea, but it's only an idea and if that's the case it isn't really his fault. But still, the way he went about it was really cold.
    My sister was heartbroken, I think she's okay now about it but she still doesn't know what was going on, and I think that hurts more.
    So I don't think there is a normal way of being dumped!
    Big hug xx.
    I am who I am, and if you don't like it then that's your problem.
    -Not sure who said this!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    3,734


    you're lovely. it's not your fault. give yourself time to cry and let your family take care of you for a bit, then decide what to do.

    “I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in life. And I am horribly limited.”

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    188
    Really sorry to hear what's happened it's horrible that you didn't know this was coming but it doesn't mean you can't be with anyone, just that this person isn't right for you.

    Take some time at home away, everything's still fresh but don't give up on uni or anything else because of this.

    Dp

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    2,687
    Thanks guys.

    On the train back to uni now - going to really try to put all my energy into uni work / exercise. Bring on some frantic reading/writing/running/swimming/cycling.
    There's only one way of life
    And that's your own, your own, your own

    One Way - The Levellers

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,369
    We're here if you need us. xx
    I am who I am, and if you don't like it then that's your problem.
    -Not sure who said this!

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    7,392
    Quote Originally Posted by yellowseahorse View Post
    Thanks guys.

    On the train back to uni now - going to really try to put all my energy into uni work / exercise. Bring on some frantic reading/writing/running/swimming/cycling.
    Woop.
    Growls

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    8,719
    I was dumped out of the blue too. He had been acting cold for about 2 weeks before but instead of talking to me about it he just acted like a child and dumped me and never explained to be why. We were together over 2 years and I never got a reason, we were always so solid too. The only thing I can suggest is keep busy, I threw myself into my a levels and ended up doing way better than my teachers predicted!

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    2,687
    I'm sucking at keeping busy. I'm busy during the day but then by about now I'm so exhausted by holding things together I just collapse into bed a total mess
    There's only one way of life
    And that's your own, your own, your own

    One Way - The Levellers

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    wales.
    Posts
    663
    It's little steps right now. Keeping busy won't distract you all day just keep your mind off things for a while. Gradually, you will be able to do more and more and then things will get better. It will all get better, really it will. Keep in there.
    "A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination." Nelson Mandela

    "I have to be alone very often. I'd be quite happy if I spent from Saturday night until Monday morning alone in my apartment. That's how I refuel." Audrey Hepburn


  15. #15
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,369
    You had a bit of a shock. The break up coming out of the blue like that. You might be a mess for a bit, but it will get better. xx
    I am who I am, and if you don't like it then that's your problem.
    -Not sure who said this!

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

Show site map

TheSite.org is delivered by YouthNet UK. Registered charity number: 1048995