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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Dundee, Scotland. I hate
    Posts
    5

    Why can't I stop? Nothing seems to work...

    Well, I'm a wreck again...

    I posted a couple of weeks ago about my self harm issue. The comments that were left made me feel so overjoyed knowing that there is help out there and it made me feel like someone cares. Thankyou for the comments(':

    But, I have cut again.

    Things with my brother isn't looking up. We keep fighting, my mom is getting upset about it, my boyfriend tries to help me but he doesn't know how. He is always there for me but when he is gone, my brother starts all his sh*t up again and it's tearing me apart.

    I have tried talking to him, talking to my mom, talking to the school guidance staff, different techniques to help me stop cutting and writing down a journal of everything that is going downhill in life.

    Nothing seems to work.

    Do I give up?

  2. #2
    brunettebarbie's Avatar
    brunettebarbie is offline Imagination, life is your creation
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Barbie World
    Posts
    1,298
    Quote Originally Posted by Chelsey-Louise'BvB(: View Post
    Well, I'm a wreck again...

    I posted a couple of weeks ago about my self harm issue. The comments that were left made me feel so overjoyed knowing that there is help out there and it made me feel like someone cares. Thankyou for the comments(':

    But, I have cut again.

    Things with my brother isn't looking up. We keep fighting, my mom is getting upset about it, my boyfriend tries to help me but he doesn't know how. He is always there for me but when he is gone, my brother starts all his sh*t up again and it's tearing me apart.

    I have tried talking to him, talking to my mom, talking to the school guidance staff, different techniques to help me stop cutting and writing down a journal of everything that is going downhill in life.

    Nothing seems to work.

    Do I give up?
    Firstly DON'T give up. When i've self harmed when i've gone a long time without doing it i have felt such a faliure though, it's just a lapse. Sometimes you've gotta take one step forward and two back. Self harm doesn't go away over night.

    It's great you've tried to tak to school guidence staff. What did they recommend?

    Have you thought about seeing your GP?

    Also your journal sounds like a great help. I would carry on writing in that as when you feel able to read over difficult days you may find triggers that causes you to self harm. It may show a pattern of your self harming also. In fact you could take it with you to see your GP if you find it hard to say how you are feeling out loud.

    Let us know how you get on

    BB x

    "i'm finding a meaning. Once you say, finally 'now i've got it,' then you've lost it, because you're dragging it down to something very limited. It's an on-going process and the meaning of life itself. One is continually going into the depths of yourself, discovering a strength, a presence perhaps, in heart of yourself." Karen Armstrong


    I know you're after me but leave the devices out

    "They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." ~Andy Warhol~

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Devon
    Posts
    188
    Hi Chelsey-Louise'BvB(:

    Firstly welcome back to TheSite

    It's good to know that we were of some help last time.

    Sorry things have been tough for you again. Some great advice above me from brunettebarbie. Some days can be rougher than others and regarding the self harm, its a journey that will get easier. The important thing is that your taking positive steps in speaking up and looking for guidance.

    How did you get on before with Advice Finder link that Helen linked to in your original post. Did you check what services might be available in your area for more specific guidance?, or the Scottish website 'Look Ok Feel Crap'?

    Like brunettebarbie says, a journal can be great way to put your feelings etc in one place and help you deal with them better.

    Like i've said before. Keep posting and let us know how things are getting on for you.

    Were always here.

    Phil

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    7
    Hi, I can understand the feeling that maybe you should give up trying to fight this but i'm sure you have the inner strength to defeat self harm with the right sort of support. Most self harmers use self harm because it gives them something and they don't know how to get that something anywhere else. Can you identify what self harming gives you? If there are specific emotions you're trying to work through and you can see them then there are lots of other ways to more effectively cope with them rather than trying to push them away with self harm. Writing is a very good way to see how things are and getting some of it off your chest. If you feel angry you could try ripping up paper, screaming, or going for a run. If you are sad you could let yourself cry or watch a funny film.

    It also sometimes helps to write down the negatives of self harm and think about how things would be if you kept fighting the urges. Urges can be so annoying but they do tend to reduce with time. By saying to yourself that you won't self harm for the next half hour (or less if that seems too long) and then reviewing how you feel after the time has passed that is a way of fighting the urges. You might then find that the feelings that could have led to you self harming have passed so you no longer 'need' to self harm.

    Please don't give up and also don't be hard on yourself when you slip up. Slipping up is part of reviewing how things are and is a part of recovery. It's obvious from your post that you see self harming as a problem so it is worth continuing to fight. Good luck with everything.

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