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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    4

    How long would it take me to starve to death?

    I am 17, 5'4, and I weigh 106 pounds (48.1 kilos). I play basketball 1 hr a day as well as golf 1 hr a day. I drink very little water naturally. I'm usually dehydrated. How long would it take me to starve to death?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    4,134
    Um why?
    Love Is Not Love That Alters When It Alteration Finds

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    4

    I'm tired of everything.

    I am 17 years old and I am in the foster care system. As a baby, my mother gave me and my siblings up because she was so young. (She had been 13 and my birth dad had raped her. He was in his 30's) When I was 6, a couple adopted us and told us they would love us forever. After the adoption was finalized, they wound up starving, beating, isolating, and torchering me while they treated my siblings amazing. They told me that I was just a mistake, a monster, and that I could never be loved. They said that they were trying to save me from going to hell but that it was hopeless. After 4 years of that, I was separated from my siblings (which broke my heart. I miss them so much) and placed back into foster care. After a year in foster care, a 17 year old boy continuously sexually abused me for some time. My current foster parents are getting divorced and basically ignore me. My first love whom I was with for 2 years broke up with me 3 months ago and said he never wants to see me, talk to me, or be friends ever again. He said he's happier without me in his life. I put more trust and love into him than I had ever put into anyone and now it's over. Now, I don't know if there is such thing as true love or if love can really last. I feel disconnected from humans and I'm afraid of being hurt but at the same time, I long for a close, safe relationship. My biggest dream has always been to grow up, get married to a loving, loyal, great husband, and have kids that i can give the childhood I didn't have to. But, I feel like that will never happen. I truly do feel unloved, unworthy, and like a mistake. I feel so alone. I feel like I just can't be loved. I don't have many friends and I do have a therapist (I've been going to her for 5 years). But therapy just hasn't worked. This is my last semester of high school and after that, I go out into the world alone. I don't know what to do and I don't know how to feel comfortable trusting people anymore. Everytime I have trusted and loved, it has always wound up bad for me and has hurt so much.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    europe
    Posts
    24,865
    what a horribly sad story, im so sorry for you Im not surprised youre feeling desperate. I wish I had some answers for you, but i know starving yourself to death is not the right one x

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Devon
    Posts
    191
    Hi vg2012

    Firstly welcome to TheSite. What a really sad story. Growing up sounds like its been a really tough journey.

    To answer your question, I obivously dont know, and like SuzyCreamcheese said its not a safe thing to try and do. You say yourself that you have aspirations and dreams, these are worth holding on too, especially when your feeling down.

    Have you spoken to your therapist about these feelings and explained how you feel the process isn't working for you? They might be able to suggest some alternatives.

    Offloading on here and opening up about the feelings you've been experiencing can be a great help.

    I dont know your geographical position, but if you're after confidential advice, you could always try Support Line on 01708 765200, where someone would be able to offer confidential advice and hopefully some comfort regarding how you are feeling at the moment.

    Keep in touch and let us know how you get on. There's always someone here to listen.

    Ps, you'll find more info on Support Line on there website below...

    http://www.supportline.org.uk/

    Phil

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    55
    hey.
    honestly i feel sorry for u.
    but u always hav hope.
    u had a hard time growing up so wat
    go on with life
    live to the max
    u will never know if u dont try


    xx
    coke

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    4

    I had been trying

    I tried for such a long time. But nothing has changed. I've always tried to keep up so much hope but its always crushed. I've lost it all and now i cant trust people and i dont know what to believe anymore. I feel like everyone is happier without me in their lives.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    188
    Hi vg2012,

    sorry to hear you're feeling this way but it's not true

    You mentioned you have a therapist that you've seen for 5 years but feel it's not particularly helping, have you said this to anyone? what kind of work/treatment have you done?

    dp

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    55
    what i wld do.
    if its the people around u hurting u move away if possible.
    stay hard.
    if u ar religious u cld try praying to God.
    u never know he might help u
    xx
    coke

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    4
    I've told this to my foster parents numorous times but they're too wrapped in their divorce to listen to me. Ive tried talking to school councilors but they always say "just get over it. It's the past." I used to be on depression meds but they didnt help because i dont have a chemical imbalance. I have a broken heart and a traumatic life. i wish i could just move away and forget everything, but everything follows me wherever i go. I want to be at peace and i want a family or someone who won't just leave me. The past few years, ive worked really hard for scholarships, for the SAT, and for good grades to get into college but it all seems so pointless because i have no one to share my life with.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    3,156
    I think you need to feel comfortable in your own life before you can be comfortable in sharing it with others.
    Geordie Bore - The musings of a (fake) Geordie.
    GarethMilner.co.uk - Personal site
    IndyReferendum.co.uk - Latest independence stories

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    55
    Quote Originally Posted by G-Raffe View Post
    I think you need to feel comfortable in your own life before you can be comfortable in sharing it with others.
    if she shared her life with someone then she would be happy woth her life

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    3,156
    If she is in this fragile state and not comfortable with her life on her own, she could become dependent on this other person. If that was the case then what happens if they split up, could be devastating for her. All I'm saying is that when she's ready, she will by all means want someone in her life, but not need them to survive.
    Geordie Bore - The musings of a (fake) Geordie.
    GarethMilner.co.uk - Personal site
    IndyReferendum.co.uk - Latest independence stories

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    188
    I think it's good you recognise, although tempting, moving away won't solve your problem.

    You seem really aware of what's going on for you and what works for you, medication isn't always the answer. Have you spoken to a counsellor about post traumatic stress?

    Keep working hard, you have so much ahead of you, really you never know who you'll meet at college.

    dp

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