Hide this page

Local Advice Finder

Find local services

Closed Thread
Page 1 of 5 1 2 3 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 63
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    England, UK.
    Posts
    49

    Do fuck buddy situations ever work out well?

    Ok, I'm a woman in need of an opinion of my fuck buddy situation.........
    met a guy a few months ago while trying an online dating site, chatted for a few weeks, got on well so went out on a date. Wasn't best first date in world but kept in contact as we got on so well before the official date I put it down to nerves.

    Anyway kept in contact, he went abroad, txt me loads while he was away and suggested meeting up again when he got back, txts turned into sexts and he asked if I would be up for fun when he got back. He was hot, i liked talking to him so agreed to meet up.

    Met up a few times and had sex, he kept txting me, talking to me all the time in between seeing each other, wanting to know all about my family and my life not just sex talk, I started to really like him.

    Conversations we had and the way he acted around me when we met up made me think he might actually like me too so I asked him what we were doing. He turns round n tells me he not got time for a relationship and we are just having fun.

    Anyway I like him and enjoy the sex so decided I would try to be cool with just being fuck buddies and carried on having sex with him........turns out I definitely have developed some pretty strong feelings now.

    My issue is he is totally confusing me, he will say he only wants to have sex and then when I see him he will cook me dinner, stare into my eyes all time in that "I really like you" way and generally behave in a bf manner. Never a case of wham bam cya later.

    He also got really arsey when he thought I was going to see another guy for sex then when I told him the guy was just a friend he acted all cool again.

    The last weekend we spent together was really good, we had a lot of fun, felt like it was turning into something more. But then he was awkward when we said goodbye the next day and now he has started backing off and stopped talking to me as much - it feels like he is trying to get out of the situation.

    I also know he is still using the dating site we met on but I'm unsure if he has met up with anyone else or just talking to people.

    I suggested meeting up again in x amount of days time (i did this to test the water and see if he was avoiding me) and he agreed to see me again and started texting me more often again. (We have yet to meet up)

    SO in light of this, do you think I am completely mad for still wanting more? Should I just stop talking to him? Do I risk bringing up my feelings again? Has anyone got a fuck buddy story that actually ended well or does one person always have to get hurt? Help!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    europe
    Posts
    24,861
    i dont think youre mad for wanting more, but i dont think youre going to get it from him. I think hes going to break your heart.

    Fuck buddy situations are fine, as long as thats all BOTH people want. Not one person wanting a relationship and the other one refusing to commit, especially when hes being weird and giving you mixed signals when hes with you.

    id back off in this instance if i were you. avoid him before you get in any deeper

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    4,160
    I'd found out for definate what he wants out of this before you go any further. If he only wants sex then fid someone else to fool around with otheriwse you'll end up getting hurt
    Love Is Not Love That Alters When It Alteration Finds

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    670
    Are you sure that he is actually single ...? People can pretend to be who they like on-line. He may genuinely really like you, but isn't free to commit to a relationship ... as in "my wife doesn't understand me".
    "God, give me the Grace to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference."

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    England, UK.
    Posts
    49
    Thanks for the replies. I know I should probably give up on him and move on but find myself not wanting to.

    I guess I can't honestly swear he is 100% single but I am certain he isn't married. Have been to his house more than once, stayed over for whole weekends, he still lives with his parents (he is 25). We are also friends on facebook and I haven't seen any comments on there that would make me think he was in a relationship.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    96
    I've got a bit of similar situation except I don't get anything from mine that would suggest he wants more than sex. The problem is that I have really strong feelings for him and it kills me when he ignores me or spends time with his female friends. I think the best solution for both of us is to get out while we still can.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Northern Ireland
    Posts
    121
    Quote Originally Posted by Gingerbelle View Post
    I've got a bit of similar situation except I don't get anything from mine that would suggest he wants more than sex. The problem is that I have really strong feelings for him and it kills me when he ignores me or spends time with his female friends. I think the best solution for both of us is to get out while we still can.
    i'm the same here.. x
    ♥;EAB & SDM;♥
    23/07/11
    ♥;Living Together & Engaged;♥

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    England, UK.
    Posts
    49
    Why do we get ourselves into these situations? So hard to remove yourself from it when you have developed feelings for someone

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    96
    Quote Originally Posted by Confusedfb View Post
    Why do we get ourselves into these situations? So hard to remove yourself from it when you have developed feelings for someone
    Because I think the cliche is true: women can't separate love and sex. Or at least I'm one woman who can't. And we think we can change these people. We think we will be the one who will make them realise that they want more and they want more from us. And it never works out. So you spend all that time looking your best and running around after them and hooking up when it's convenient to them and making yourself miserable. And it's for nothing. We need to find decent men who want proper relationships and who will treat us the way we are meant to be treated!!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Northern Ireland
    Posts
    121
    Quote Originally Posted by Confusedfb View Post
    Why do we get ourselves into these situations? So hard to remove yourself from it when you have developed feelings for someone
    i know
    ♥;EAB & SDM;♥
    23/07/11
    ♥;Living Together & Engaged;♥

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Waitrose
    Posts
    2,334
    Quote Originally Posted by Gingerbelle View Post
    Because I think the cliche is true: women can't separate love and sex.
    I don't really think that is true, I think women and men are both pretty capable of separating love and sex when they want to.

    The problem with FB situations is that often one party doesn't want to. If you want someone you end up doing things to try and be with them, when perhaps it would be better if you don't. It's tempting to think that if you're having sex with a man you love at least you have some sort of relationship with him, but it really doesn't work out like that.

    In FB situations where both people just want sex they work out fine. I'm skeptical about how often it is when both people just want sex, I think there's often one party (not always the woman, either) who wants a bit more but will take what they can.

    Sadly I don't think FB situations work out well because there is no incentive for them to work out well. The person with feelings will continue to have sex and run around after the person without feelings. Therefore the person without feelings gets all the benefits of a relationship- the sex, the company- without any of the responsibilities of a relationship. Why would they buy the cow, as it were, if they're getting the milk for free?
    Can you hold me like you held someone you shouldn't have let go?
    Can you keep me deep inside like the regrets that burned a hole?
    Can you love me like you loved someone you loved so long ago?

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Amazingstoke
    Posts
    2,244
    Quote Originally Posted by Gingerbelle View Post
    Because I think the cliche is true: women can't separate love and sex. Or at least I'm one woman who can't. And we think we can change these people. We think we will be the one who will make them realise that they want more and they want more from us. And it never works out. So you spend all that time looking your best and running around after them and hooking up when it's convenient to them and making yourself miserable. And it's for nothing. We need to find decent men who want proper relationships and who will treat us the way we are meant to be treated!!

    Spot On!
    RAWR

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    England, UK.
    Posts
    49
    I am definitely guilty of thinking I can change my fb and he will one day suddenly realise how great I am. Never going to happen though. I have purposefully avoided having any contact with him for nearly 2 weeks and guess what......he hasn't bothered trying to contact me either. Surprise surprise, says it all. I'm sure I will hear from him again next time he has a free house :/

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    247
    Quote Originally Posted by Confusedfb View Post
    Why do we get ourselves into these situations? So hard to remove yourself from it when you have developed feelings for someone
    Theres a definite attraction when someone seems that bit more unobtainable. I'm in a half way similar situation - met a guy online, met up, nothing happened but we hung out as mates every now and then, I liked him but he was pretty rubbish at keeping in touch. Then we both ended up in relationships with other people and I kind of got over my attraction. Then those broke up and we started seeing each other again, things got a bit more serious and now I'm kind of smitten but he's being an arse. I suspect if he was available and interested I wouldn't be!

    I has a big chat with a friend about it and we both agreed that the less easy and contactable and keen a guy is the more we seem to think about them and therefore like them.

    I'm trying to distract myself with other blokes
    ===============

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    England, UK.
    Posts
    49
    Sooo true! I'm always drawn to the bad boys who play it cool and seem unobtainable too! Never interested in the "nice" guys that constantly tell me they like me! Guess we like the thrill of the chase!

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

Show site map

TheSite.org is delivered by YouthNet UK. Registered charity number: 1048995