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  1. #1
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    how does one become an MI5 agent?

    radio1 were doing this thing on the news today about being an MI5/MI6 agent and it sounded amazing..
    ive always wanted to be a secret agent and i know for a fact id be good at it!

    but how do you become one and where do they recruit as its so secret?
    maybe this is a pointless thread as NO ONE knows because its top secret..

    but please help me if you can, its my dream job and i am definitely cut out for it.I WANA BE A SECRET AGENT!

  2. #2
    Skive's Avatar
    Skive is offline No discipline! No morality! No respect!
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    Civil Service I reckon.
    Doves, Playboys, Biscuits, Barrels, Callies, Clear Caps, China Whites, Rhubarbs, Loony Toons, New Yorkers... you know, bang on, larging it, the full monty, safe as houses, pair of trousers, what a laugh, let's do another half!

  3. #3
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    erm
    whats civil service? do i just go there and tell them what i want to do?

  4. #4
    Skive's Avatar
    Skive is offline No discipline! No morality! No respect!
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    Through the civil service. Jobs such as working for the MOD, Inland Revenue or the Job Centre are Civil Service Jobs.
    Doves, Playboys, Biscuits, Barrels, Callies, Clear Caps, China Whites, Rhubarbs, Loony Toons, New Yorkers... you know, bang on, larging it, the full monty, safe as houses, pair of trousers, what a laugh, let's do another half!

  5. #5
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    They had an advert in The Times, you can also apply via The Guardian wesbite, just search for MI5 under the job section.

    Good luck.



    Cal

  6. #6
    Skive's Avatar
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    Doves, Playboys, Biscuits, Barrels, Callies, Clear Caps, China Whites, Rhubarbs, Loony Toons, New Yorkers... you know, bang on, larging it, the full monty, safe as houses, pair of trousers, what a laugh, let's do another half!

  7. #7
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  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scarlet Pimpernell
    radio1 were doing this thing on the news today about being an MI5/MI6 agent and it sounded amazing..
    ive always wanted to be a secret agent and i know for a fact id be good at it!

    but how do you become one and where do they recruit as its so secret?
    maybe this is a pointless thread as NO ONE knows because its top secret..

    but please help me if you can, its my dream job and i am definitely cut out for it.I WANA BE A SECRET AGENT!

    You do actually look like a bit of a Bond Girl ...

    Did you see Casino Royale then?

  9. #9
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    I don't get how that application thing would work.

    "Hey, what are you doing?"
    "Oh I'm just looking on MI6's website for jobs."
    a few month later....
    "Oh, I got a boring government job that I can't talk about, where I'll be gone for weeks at a time."
    "It's not MI6 is it?"
    "......erm......nooooo."

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by I'm With Stupid
    I don't get how that application thing would work.

    "Hey, what are you doing?"
    "Oh I'm just looking on MI6's website for jobs."
    a few month later....
    "Oh, I got a boring government job that I can't talk about, where I'll be gone for weeks at a time."
    "It's not MI6 is it?"
    "......erm......nooooo."
    You just can't tell anyone that you're applying. I know someone who applied and didn't gt it for MI6, they weren't even allowed to say they put it an application. That way if you do get it they invent a nice little cover story for you to give everyone, and noone is any the wiser.

  11. #11
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    If by some strange quirk of reality you are actually serious about joining the services, you'd be best off deleting this thread. They tend to prefer discretion over broadcasting to to the world.
    Another quality post brought to you by Mr Mist, god of Moo.

  12. #12
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    What show was it? Do Radio 1 have an online version I can listne to?

    by the way: http://www.prospects.ac.uk/cms/ShowP...tate=7&cid=101
    "Don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter."

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scarlet Pimpernell
    radio1 were doing this thing on the news today about being an MI5/MI6 agent and it sounded amazing..
    ive always wanted to be a secret agent and i know for a fact id be good at it!

    but how do you become one and where do they recruit as its so secret?
    maybe this is a pointless thread as NO ONE knows because its top secret..

    but please help me if you can, its my dream job and i am definitely cut out for it.I WANA BE A SECRET AGENT!
    3 girls wanna start as a secret agent, because not everyone is cut out for the job, the MI6 gives each of the 3 women a difficult task. The first woman was given a gun, when she entered the next room there was sitting her husband gagged and tightened to a chair.

    "Listen up, we want to see if you got the guts to become a secret agent. Use this gun and shoot your husband."

    After 10 minutes of crying and "noo, I can't do that." The woman failed the test.

    The second woman was given a gun, and when she entered the next room there was her husband tightened to a chair and gagged.

    "Listen up, we want to see if you got the guts to become a secret agent. Use this gun and shoot your husband."

    After 10 minutes of crying, shouting you hear a subtle click. the woman pulled the trigger, but failed because she nearly broke down."

    The third woman was given a gun and when she entered the next room, her husband was there tightened to a chair and gagged. The door closed behind her. After 10 minutes she comes out again. "The fucking weapon wasn't loaded, so I had to tear out a chair leg and bludgeon him to death."

  14. #14
    ShyBoy's Avatar
    ShyBoy is offline Born on Earth, raised on TheSite.org
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    Noo you got the joke wrong the first two are male aplicants asked to kill their wives!

    The pay isnt that good btw, and its not really glamourous work (think surveillance ala stakeouts and things like that). If you join the services they might approach you. I shall say no more, like.
    Be happy, accept those you care for, and live your life in a manner true to yourself, those you care for, and the values you hold dear to your heart.
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  15. #15
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    EBAY.

    Yyou gotta bid on an auction, for something secret, then they come and put you in a bag, knock you out, plug your brain into a hi-tech computer which wipes it and inserts standard MI5 agent programming.

    True stuff.

    Running my rig in a mighty high gear,
    I don't care where I go, so long as it ain't here,
    If something gets in my way, you know I'm gonna ram her,
    Nobody fools around with this gear jammer.

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