My story is a bit long, but I would really appreciate any help you can offer, because I am feeling very lost. Thank you!
I posted a couple of days ago asking for advice on a long-distance relationship that was about to begin. It is not anymore, we decided to take a break while we are away and possibly pick it back up when we are in the same country again. Unfortunately this will be in a year and 4 months. While we both understand that this is the best decision currently for both of us, because LDRs come with a lot of stress and we would have missed out on a lot in our personal lives, it undoubtedly hurts a lot. I am leaving for the USA for 4 months, during which time we wouldn't have been able to see each other at all, and then I'm going to Spain for 9 more months, in which we would have been able to see each other once a month.
We dated for only 6 months, but it was amazing. We didn't have fights, whatever disagreement we had was easily resolved talking, we loved each other and LIKED each other, which in my opinion is even more important. We felt attracted to each other. We were truly a perfect fit, and I am not saying this now out of delusion or sadness. It was really all there. It is not that we wanted to be with other people either, we simply did not want to hold each other back in terms of everyday experiences like going out with friends or travelling just to be able to talk to each other often, which is the reason why we broke up (he has no sex drive due to a medical condition so I believe it was not about meeting other people at all). We both felt this is what had to happen, but we were and are very sad about it happening.
However, as reasonable as this all may sound, I am a firm believer in love. I do understand that this was the best decision for us currently, but I am lost. I really feel we were very right for each other, but I am afraid that after a year and 4 months we won't want to start over again (I dated my previous boyfriend for almost 3 years and after a year and a half, all of it is almost completely gone - good memories and bad!). After all, our relationship was not that long. We will not be talking at least for a while while the pain is still fresh, and afterwards I fear the love will be gone. I fear it will be gone for both of us. I felt at home with him and I don't know how to move on from that.
I hate not knowing. He was the one who suggested we do a hiatus and revisit our relationship when we came back, but even so I do not know if he meant it truly or not, or if it was just something to say. He said some beautiful things don't last and we have to let them go, which does not make them any less beautiful. However, I do know he loved and appreciated me, and being as practical as he is (very practical), I think that he would want a relationship back which was working perfectly, right (unless he is with someone else, or I am, but for the sake of the argument let's assume we aren't). People have told me to trust in fate and believe that we will find our way back to each other, but I am struggling to do so. I have a few questions:
1. We promised not to talk for a while to let ourselves heal. I am not sure how long that period should be. I think in about two months I could contact him. Does that sound reasonable? Or should I wait for him to contact me, since he was the one who suggested the hiatus? (keeping in mind he doesn't know exactly when I'm coming back and he isn't one to message a lot in general)
2. I don't want to be simply friends, but at the same time I feel like if we don't talk at all, we will forget each other and move on. Should we talk at all and be friendly while I'm in America and risk just staying friends and not being able to go beyond that, or should I just leave it and wait until we can be together again, when I can openly discuss with him what I'd like and see if he's on the same page?
3. I would like to go back to a relationship with him after I come back from America. He suggested when we were breaking up that we wouldn't be if I wasn't leaving for America. Obviously you can't know for sure, but being in Europe and having very cheap tickets between our locations, we would be able to see each other a lot for an LDR. Do you think that it would be okay to just check with him at that point (in 4 months time) whether he is okay with trying again, or should I leave it until I come back in a year and 4 months?
I realise that all of my questions are very specific,and I've given a lot of information, but I really need some specific advice... Hopefully someone out there can say. Thank you for reading and I hope you have a wonderful day!