That relationship is over now.
I am now seeing someone new; we've been seeing each other for 4/5 months and are very close and at home with each other. We've slid in to a life together nicely and both really happy with how it's progressing. I moved out of my ex's house and when I left him I had to start from scratch; I was pretty poor and had to make do but it was liberating having my own flat and things.
Anyway, my girlfriend is wonderful but comes from an affluent background. She has a lot of money (I wouldn't know how much) but to kind of gauge it, she took me to Paris for my birthday this weekend (which was truly wonderful); she flew us to New York for Valentine's...
She's the opposite of my ex; she doesn't want me to buy a thing. But I find that difficult; I come from a scrimp and save background and want to buy my own stuff; I have a lot of pride and am willing to earn, work, even take on additional work to earn money for things I would like. She does try to understand this but will buy extravagant gifts/holidays/things on a whim. Despite barely paying for a thing (because I physically can't just buy on a whim, and when she buys things - it's THE most expensive of everything) I am still tucking away very little at the end of the month. She doesn't quite understand how I can walk around with a £5 watch from New Look when she has a vast collection from £150 - £12,000 on her wrist. When she sees a nice piece of jewellery ora watch, if it's 'only' £200, it's a bargain.
I don't want to be spoilt as I really believe in earning and buying like I do; I don't want to take her for granted so I do try and stop her going OTT. She doesn't see why I don't want to have things 'then and there'. I have a £200 necklace around my neck from one of our first tiffs because she wanted to express how much she cares but I can't return the favour. She whisks me off to Paris; how can I even begin to top that with her birthday in 2 months when I can barely stretch to bills and rent? She wants a party as a starting point but she also has affluent friends; I can't afford to arrange a party at a venue and put money behind the bar, pay for champagne...etc...
We also have the issue of me not 'coming out'. I'm early in to our relationship and have always had boyfriends. But it is challenging to justify why I'm absent for a whole weekend when I get phone calls because I've been whisked abroad. My parents know I don't have lots of money so this will begin to raise eyebrows.
I suppose...I feel embarrassed by my rather more 'humble' background. I'm intending on doing some private tutoring in order to give myself additional income but I know she'll feel like it'll eat in to 'us' time when she could just pay for everything...! How can I express how I feel about the money stuff...or am I being silly? Should I be 'ok' with being spoilt? My friends all think I should exploit it to the max but it's not in my nature; I just end up with a lot of guilt and a sickly feeling when I see my bank balance still being so feeble until payday! I think a lot of people would feel like I'm in a great situation but I am a hardworker. I have a difficult job and am very successful for someone my age in my profession; but I still don't have a vast fortune;especially from the fallout of my last relationship.
How do others deal with this?! Do they?!!?
Thanks for replies in advance.