I posted a while back about a girl i met, and we became really close. It sounds cliche but as soon as i met her, i knew she was someone really special. Anyway, after a while obviously i felt like i needed to say something, however we were out for a drink and all of sudden she told me she had been on a few dates with someone and felt really guilty. So that came as a massive surprise, she then said that she wouldnt see him again if it meant losing me. At this point i just came out and told her how i felt and actually told her how in love i was, over the next few days things were just kind of left to settle and we spoke again and she said that 'we would just see how things go, we're no rush'.
So that was a couple of months back, and at that stage i was fairly content with seeing how things develop. However just last week we had a chat and she said that she doesnt know if she can give me what i want, and that we should just be friends. So we spoke for a bit, and then i left ( we live about an hour away) and then later that evening she started saying she wasnt sure if she'd made the right decision, cant lose you etc'. I figured that could be just heat of the moment stuff, and turned out i was right. She later said that she doesnt want to keep me hanging on or give me hope.
I just really dont know what to do...since this all came out last week, i think ive cried virtually everyday which i havetn done in years. I just cant stop thinking about it, i cant understand why she would suddenly want to just cut out the chance of anything happening. Over the months ive known her, theres been two days i can remember that we havent spoke. And shes admitted before that there is 'something' there but isnt sure what.
I just keep imagining the thought of never being her and its killing me, to the point where i wish i could just i duno break my leg or something in some vain attempt to feel another pain. Theres so much stuff we havent done yet and i hate the fact that i know i'll look back on this and always think we never ever gave it a proper shot.
Im not sure what kind of advice im after, i just need something. I dont know how im supposed to be now with her, i cant just act like normal?! its been two days since we spoke and all i want to do is talk to her. I duno...ive left loads out...i hope theres someone out there who can spin some sort of positive thinking on this...im just so scared of losing her.