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  • Stuck!! on what to say on dating site

    Didn't know where to put this so mods, please move if you feel its in the wrong category.



    I'm on a free dating site because I'm too shy and I am lacking in confidence in speaking to any girl face-to-face.

    I'm fed up saying " Hey, you look nice, wanna chat?" all the time.


    What can I say instead which would make a female interested in replying?

  • #2
    Just ask some questions based on her profile. Assuming this dating site has profiles where you can write abit about yourself like hobbies etc etc.

    Failing that you could just ask how big her boobs are.
    Don't ever let somebody tell you can't do something. You got a dream... You gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin', go get it.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by GoodFella View Post
      Failing that you could just ask how big her boobs are.


      Or if she likes it up the....

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      • #4
        Have you got a profile? If you have then it's very important to say the right things in there If you have then I'll give you some ideas, if not then maybe you should join one where you can have a profile?

        But, don't tell a girl she looks nice straight away... because (for me at least) that could freak her out and she might think you are a bit of a perv. Maybe try things like "You sound really lovely on your profile, do you want my email address so we can talk more?"
        I'd say don't go into live chats straight away, because it'll probably end up being really awkward. Where as with emails, you can get to know people more and reply when you want to. x
        The headlights from passing cars
        They illuminate my face then leave me the dark
        The voice of Nirvana says, "Come as you are"
        And I will

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Broken-Angel View Post
          Have you got a profile? If you have then it's very important to say the right things in there If you have then I'll give you some ideas, if not then maybe you should join one where you can have a profile?

          But, don't tell a girl she looks nice straight away... because (for me at least) that could freak her out and she might think you are a bit of a perv. Maybe try things like "You sound really lovely on your profile, do you want my email address so we can talk more?"
          I'd say don't go into live chats straight away, because it'll probably end up being really awkward. Where as with emails, you can get to know people more and reply when you want to. x
          Basically this

          You've gotta make yourself seem abit different and interesting. Make an effort to ask different questions, afterall im sure girls on dating websites must get about 50 "hi, wanna chat?" messages a day.
          Don't ever let somebody tell you can't do something. You got a dream... You gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin', go get it.

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          • #6
            Have a good picture on your profile.
            I know why the caged bird sings, Only joy comes from song
            She's so rare and beautiful to others, Why not just set her free
            So she can fly, fly, fly
            Spreadin' her wings and her song
            Let her fly, fly fly
            For the whole world to see

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            • #7
              Serious replies only please. Just not in the mood for any sarcasm.

              Broken-Angel
              Yep I have a profile.

              Basically I've started off saying "100% genuine and kind guy here looking to make friends and maybe leading to a relationship."

              Actually I do say that they look nice straight away.

              And then moving on to my hobbies and interests. And that I like wild animals and birds of prey. And what music I'm interested in. Also that I drive.

              The I've finished off saying that I'm on facebook and add me if they like. My email address for facebook is on my profile.


              There are 8 photos of myself on the site.

              I was thinking about re-writing my profile to make it more interesting.



              I sent a message to one lass who liked the same things of me, but she never replied

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              • #8
                Originally posted by GoodFella View Post
                Make an effort to ask different questions, afterall im sure girls on dating websites must get about 50 "hi, wanna chat?" messages a day.
                They do.

                First comment from a bloke mentioning looks = assume the bloke's saying "I wanna get laid" and thus I wouldn't bother. It's just tacky and lame.

                (yes I tried the whole dating site thing)

                You really do need a profile that makes you seem interesting. Listing hobbies is usually just boring. You need to pull people in, make it seem like you're not just one of the thousands of blokes harassing the girls for a shag.

                I actually met my bloke through a dating site. We started chatting because he mentioned the gym which I was quite into at the time (and had written about on my profile). Then we found out we had a few things in common (including studying the same degree at uni and having gone to the same college) and eventually decided to meet up. He was never blabbering about my looks which I wouldn't have appreciated when all he had seen was a picture. Two years on and heavily pregnant I like it when he says I look cute/beautiful/etc and I can tell he really means it.

                Basically you want to not appear like a loser and to have a personality. That usually means having a life in your free time and having something to give when communicating. Often you start talking to somebody and you realise they have absolutely nothing to say because their life is less exciting than the daily life of a tree. Those conversations are doomed to fail.

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                • #9
                  Jaloux
                  Thanks for your reply. I think I'll re-write my profile and make it more interesting.

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                  • #10
                    Make sure you smile in photos too. Maybe have some taken by a mate when you're in a nice and happy place, so your smile looks genuine.
                    I'm clever, I just don't have the qualifications to prove it!
                    I can, I will, I must succeed!
                    Indrid_Cold -
                    "I guess it's fairly simple to pull women in a club. You stand at the door of a club (on the inside), wait until a woman is passing by outside, grab her arm or sleeve or whatever and just pull.

                    Whether that would turn out well in the end, of course, is another matter."
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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Mr.Ferrari09 View Post
                      Basically I've started off saying "100% genuine and kind guy here looking to make friends and maybe leading to a relationship."
                      Didn't you have a thread about this already? I think people recommended to put something like that out. "100% genuine and kind guy" is just screaming "I am boring." Who wouldn't say "100%" if asked "are you genuine? And who would write "79,5% genuine guy." It's pointless, and everything that is pointless is poison on a dating website.

                      Just think of applying to a big company and there are 100 applicants. If you tell them the generic "I am a team worker and I like your company name." you are probably not getting the job. Be a bit more resourceful and make yourself look more unique then the rest of the thousands upon thousand guys on that website.

                      Originally posted by Mr.Ferrari09 View Post
                      Actually I do say that they look nice straight away.
                      Don't. This is not a viable compliment. Everyone would say that. Actually it is perceived as a quick and easy empty phrase to win the approval of the girl and is therefore frowned upon.

                      Originally posted by Mr.Ferrari09 View Post
                      And then moving on to my hobbies and interests. And that I like wild animals and birds of prey. And what music I'm interested in. Also that I drive.
                      Standard stuff which is ok, except for that you drive. Who cares? Do you breathe too? And use the toilet from time to time?

                      Originally posted by Mr.Ferrari09 View Post
                      The I've finished off saying that I'm on facebook and add me if they like. My email address for facebook is on my profile.
                      minor thing, but I wouldn't mention that either way. It seems pushy, like the guys who think they've got game when they got the phone number of a girl. If it's there, they will see it, and contact you, if they are interested in you.

                      Originally posted by Mr.Ferrari09 View Post
                      There are 8 photos of myself on the site.
                      If you thought katralla was being sarcastic, then maybe she wasn't 100%. You will be going to be judged by looks, so make them look good, without photoshop. You are into photography, so think of a photo of you that would look interesting.


                      Originally posted by Mr.Ferrari09 View Post
                      I sent a message to one lass who liked the same things of me, but she never replied
                      Maybe you said the wrong things, or maybe she checked out your profile and decided she didn't like you enough. That's basically why there are dating sites, to browse quickly and more or less anonymously through a plethora of possible partners, without needing to rebuff everyone.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by StrubbleS View Post
                        Don't. This is not a viable compliment. Everyone would say that. Actually it is perceived as a quick and easy empty phrase to win the approval of the girl and is therefore frowned upon.

                        Standard stuff which is ok, except for that you drive. Who cares? Do you breathe too? And use the toilet from time to time?
                        Also, "you look nice" and "I can drive" taken together, to me imply "get in my car"... which is obviously not the right impression you want to give.
                        It's the fruit that makes it fruity, it's the juice that makes it juicy, it's the funk that makes it funky, it's the junk that makes the junkie

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                        • #13
                          I'd rethink the 8 photos, tbh. If I saw that I'd think the guy was either in love with himself, or desperate.

                          Pick the best one, the one that makes you look the most fun and warm and genuine (previous advice about a natural smile out with mates was good) and bin the rest.
                          geekblog

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by wooooooooah View Post
                            Also, "you look nice" and "I can drive" taken together, to me imply "get in my car"... which is obviously not the right impression you want to give.
                            This post made me think of http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1MdpahtL1Q :D
                            I'm clever, I just don't have the qualifications to prove it!
                            I can, I will, I must succeed!
                            Indrid_Cold -
                            "I guess it's fairly simple to pull women in a club. You stand at the door of a club (on the inside), wait until a woman is passing by outside, grab her arm or sleeve or whatever and just pull.

                            Whether that would turn out well in the end, of course, is another matter."
                            Livejournal
                            Facebook
                            Twitter

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by lea_uk View Post
                              This post made me think of http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1MdpahtL1Q :D
                              Hahaha that takes me back!
                              It's the fruit that makes it fruity, it's the juice that makes it juicy, it's the funk that makes it funky, it's the junk that makes the junkie

                              Comment

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