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Gender & Sexuality forum: now open!

Hey everyone,

You spoke and it was thus: due to popular demand and to celebrate Pride month, we're delighted to launch our new Gender & Sexuality forum!

Why not head over now and take a look around. Make sure you look through the guidelines (and add your own suggestions) and read all about the history of Pride

This is your space - feel free to make it yours and post away!

James, Aife, Mike & Kathleen
(The Mix team)
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Post of The Month (April)

Maisy is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community:

"You're not bitchy at all. What this guy did to you, and how he invalidates it afterwards is horrific and you deserve justice. Rape can happen to anyone..."

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Go away Gold Digger, I'm Broke.

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  • Go away Gold Digger, I'm Broke.

    I always used to say that I would never (ever) get a credit card. My decision of this was based upon my mum and how she'd brought me up.
    "Don't spend the money you don't have." would be the phrase that would stick in my mind. But now I'm older I realise that it isn't as simple as that and I have magically found myself in this massive money-less ditch.

    I have a flat and I also have a boyfriend. While on housing benefit (despite working 40+ hours a week) my boyfriend doesn't work. He left his job with no safety net and I said that was okay. I mean, he had looked after me when I was unemployed for a few months so I had no problem returning the favour. He left because he worked nights and we suspect he's got anxiety. I could SEE his discomfort and we both agreed that he needed to leave for the sake of his well-being. However, a year later and still no job and now I am really scraping the barrel.

    A lot of people think he's mugging me off and he's just with me for a free ride. It's not that, I know it's not, but I believe he has a lot of deep-rooted issues that is stopping him from getting out there and getting a job. I admit- I don't think I helped him when I said it was okay for him to leave his job but at the time I thought I had his best interest at heart. Now I can see that we acted only thinking of the short-term benefits.

    I'm sure you can imagine what types of effects it has had on me. With a boyfriend at home playing games all day, working 40+ hours a week, cooking, cleaning and paying all the bills. The only word that doesn't come close to describing it to its full extent is 'STRESSED', capital letters and all, bold and double underlined.
    Yes, we have discussed it and no, we haven't got any further than that. At the moment our current status is MIGHT get a job in September and I'm holding onto hope.

    Nevertheless I'm creating realistic plans to crawl my way out of this ditch, with mud under my nails. and when I get out I will beam a huge smile, deeply sigh with relief and scrub those damn nails of mine.
    Last edited by peachy; 05-06-2017, 06:09 PM.

  • #2
    Hi peachy,

    I'm sorry this situation is causing you so much stress. Money can be one of the hardest things for people to talk about, particularly in relationships. You're taking a great step by discussing him getting a job, and there seems to be a plan in place. Have you tried talking to your boyfriend about seeing someone for his anxiety? Finding someone who he can talk to about his issues might help him get back on track.

    Hope this is helpful,
    -Kathleen

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    • #3
      Hi Kathleen, thank you.
      You've been truly helpful. I'll start discussing with him the idea of going to the doctor. I just think he doesn't really want to have anxiety and avoiding the diagnosis would mean that he doesn't suffer from it when in reality that's not the case.

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      • #4
        Hi peachy!

        Just wanted to check in. How are things going with your boyfriend?

        -Kathleen

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