I was 19 at the time (20 now), after a night out (i wasn't drunk when the 'thing' happend, as i don't really ever get drunk, strange, but true), an arguement broke out at the front of my house with two men (30 + 40 yrs old). About 10 mins before it happend i was inside arguing with my girlfriend, after the arguement she went to sit on the door step to have a fag, after about two minutes i went to say sorry to my girlfriend, and 2 seconds before that, the two men had stoped in front of my house (they were walking home from a night out) and asked my girlfriend if she was ok (in thier police statements they said they had been drinking all day,so were drunk). When i opened the door i could only see one man, and he just stood there staring at me,i said 'yes mate?', he said something like 'just asking your girlfriend if shes ok', then i just told him to 'f*** off'.After several 'f*** off's back and forth between us, a second man joined the first at the front of my house and joined in the arguement.At that point i was thinking that these two big blokes were going to batter me.
This next part is the biggest regret of my entire life.
After about a minute of arguing (i can't be more presise than 1 minute), i thought to myself that i wanted to scare these two blokes the way they were scareing me, and stupidly said 'if you don't f*** off im going to go and get a knife', worse still, i actualy went and got it and came back outside.
I can only imagine what you must be thinking now! Especialy with all the stabbings in the news at the moment.Please please don't cast your judgement yet thought until you've read everything!
The whole night is an entire blur for me from this point on, it's only from reading the police statements that i can piece it together.
It's hard to belive that i didn't intend to use the knife, but i know 110% that i never would of used it on purpose in a million years.
As i came back outside, i walked 2/3 paces, then one of them either hit me or jumped on me from the side. From that point i remember geting hit a few more times on the floor, then i'm running away!One witness (that the police aren't using, because they can choose not to and it slightly favours me) said that one attacked me from the side, knocked me to the ground, then both of them we're 'giving him a kicking' as he put it. After a few minutes my girlfriend had shouted at a passer by to help. He saw me getting a kicking and pulled ONE man off me, this man then started on the passer by and my girlfriend, then kicked me in the back of the head. The other man was laying on the path holding his wrist where the knife had cut him!
I then ran away as i thought the man who kicked me in the head, had the knife, and was going to stab me! It was when i was running away, i turned around to see the other man laying on the floor, and straight away knew something had happend to him.
I ran into somebodys back garden and after what seemed like 10minutes to me, but was actually over an hour , i walked back to my house where a police man was stood and said 'i think i've stabbed somebody'.
The bloke who kicked me in the back of the head, didn't even realise he had been stabbed until about 20mins later when he was sat in the ambulance with his mate.
One had cut an artery in his wrist, the other had a small piercing to his palm and a stab wound to the abdomen, requiring three stitches.
I was charged with section 18 GBH with intent, but it has now been droped to a section 20 GBH.
Before all of this i had a really good job in a bank,and was just about to start training to be a mortgage advisor,i had just moved in with my girlfriend and we were talking about saving for our own house,basicly i was normal and my life, to me, was perfect. i wasnt one of these kid's that go around carrying knifes and stabbing people, or a binge drinker (i drink less than once a month), or someone claiming benefits or anything like that! I have one caution over a year ago for hitting someone ( i caught my girlfriend in bed with one of my friends and hit him, and i think most people would of done the same)
I've ruined my life with one stupid moment of madness.I've lost my job because i was signed off so long with depression, due to whats happening.I'm arguing everyday with my girlfriend, yet she's still sticking with me.I've stopped seeing my friends as much.My life has gone from perfect to my worse nightmare!
Just to add, i went to crown court, and about 10 minutes before i was due to go in and plead guilty, the prossocution rejected my guilty plea, due to the fact that i said, that it was my fault, but, the men did attack me first (maybe giving me a leaner sententance with the judge).The prossocution rejected this, so unless i droped 'they attacked me 1st', i had to plea not guilty! My next door neighbour said in his statement (to cut it short), that they attacked me 1st. Yet the police are choosing to not use him as a witness (i am though), my barrister says that they can 'pick and choose' who they use and don't use.
Im now sat here, awaiting trial.
I've tried my best to describe everything i possibly can of that night, and i really don't know what to expect now! Nearly every day i've search websites looking at any posts that are similiar!I'm so scared. About prison. About loosing my girlfriend. About my mum, little brother and step dad. About my friends forgetting about me. About life after prison, and what sort of career am i going to have.....none!The past 4 months have been a complete daze, some days im ok dealing with it, others it's hell.
I really don't know what to say now, after writing all that it's bought it all back! I know i'm an idot for what i've done. I just hope, from seeing Paul50's post, that people could, i dunno, give me advise? help me?
Thank you for reading this, i know it's hard to think of me as a good person, but before this, i honestly was!Im sorry i've wrote so much, i just needed to get it all out!Thank you again