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Post of The Month (June)

Jellyelephant is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community:

"Hey notagain

Just wanted to drop by and say I hope you are okay. Remember a relapse doesn't mean the end of recovery. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep fighting lovely girl <3"
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Urges are not going away

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  • Urges are not going away

    1 WEEK OF PERSISTENT URGES.

    It's driving me insane and I'm at the point where I can feel it, I can feel where the urges are on my body and the urges to purge aren't giving a break either. If any of you guys have ever been this long resisting the urges then you'll completely understand the restlessness and fantasising stage of this.

    I'm carrying tools with me now but I'm still holding out on doing it and when I'm out I think, "oh i'd like to b/p on that" and the urges to purge usually come when the ones to cut are bad, the take the load of if I do it. I've not cut for 3 years not and I've not purged at all this year.


    Last edited by Kathleen; 05-06-2017, 04:29 PM.
    "It's always about what you believe in. We believe that you should never give up, you should challenge everything you know and jump in way over your head" -Anatoly Zabruskov

  • #2
    Hi notagainvitelina,

    I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. This sounds completely overwhelming and the way that you are feeling is completely understandable. You should know that we are here to help, and can talk to you about anything you need.

    I want to say that I am really proud of you for resisting all week. That must have been very hard. And I am even more proud of you for resisting for 3 years. That's amazing, and you should be proud of yourself as well. If you can, try focusing on all of the progress you've made. What you've done so far is incredible, and you know you have it in you to keep resisting. Just take it one day at a time. If distractions you've used in the past aren't working this time, try something new. There are articles on self-harm coping tips and distractions, as well as having a self-harm relapse. Would you find this useful?

    Hope you feel better and speak soon!
    -Kathleen

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    • #3
      Thank you Kathleen

      It's been so so hard Kathleen, everyday has been a close one but I opted for the elastic band method. I found that it lowered the intensity of my urges and I guess it was better than nothing.

      I think I could do those other distractions if/when I need to.
      "It's always about what you believe in. We believe that you should never give up, you should challenge everything you know and jump in way over your head" -Anatoly Zabruskov

      Comment


      • #4


        Notagain- here if you wanna chat. You hopefully know who I am from chat s
        Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I will try again tomorrow

        Think ability, not disability

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        • #5
          You're going great . 3 years? Carrying on doing what you are doing!

          But just wanted to add. I've found the more i fear it - the stronger the urges get. So instead I think of what is triggering e.g. stress and feelings of emptyness and fear That instead. And relax and calm myself. By grounded technics until i feel less stress. And feel my emptynesswith water instead of food&ect. And remind myself of the things thay come with purging and things that come with self harm. And started writing down how i feel the deleting it all. Its like purging i guess :?

          Aviod going to part of the shop or don't stay to long in places like junk food. And like pharmacy part of where you could buy things to harm yourself. If your urges to purge is whwn you want to cut anf feel bad and not even after a binge. - Then what i tell myself that - apparently purging makes binging more regular, as it becomes an espcape

          I have been spending a lot of my time using a string making knots then unknoting. Random but helps.

          Seek company & distractions if the urges get to much.

          I've probably just wrote a load of unhelpful shit.
          But either way youre doing really well, so keep telling that to yourself.
          "Life is like riding a bike. To keep your balance, you must keep moving" -Albert Einstein

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          • #6
            Hi notagainvitelina!

            Just wanted to check in and see how you're doing. Are things getting any better?

            -Kathleen

            Comment


            • #7
              Thank you all for the support.

              Unfortunately the urges to self harm has manifested in different ways and the intensity has only worsened. I was going to to go to A&E considering how bad things were but decided not to in the end.

              I'm finding that a lot of unresolved emotions and events are resurfacing but I am trying.

              V
              "It's always about what you believe in. We believe that you should never give up, you should challenge everything you know and jump in way over your head" -Anatoly Zabruskov

              Comment


              • #8
                You're doing really well Vitelina, even if the urges are getting a bit too much. Credit where it's due, three years is amazing and nothing that happens now can take away from that achievement.

                Would it help to have a bit of a vent about the unresolved emotions and events you mentioned? Is the elastic band method still helping?

                You got this.
                'Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: 'we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'

                'How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.

                'You must be,' said the Cat, 'or you wouldn't have come here.'

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                • #9
                  Hey,

                  Just wanted to say I get where your coming from, it's been about five months since I've done anything and the last four weeks have been driving me up the wall, tonight has been the hardest so far but it's just one of thos things, have to keep going

                  Hope ur getting on alright and if you ever, ever, want to talk, always here

                  J x

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                  • #10
                    Hey,

                    Sorry it's been a while I've been trying my best just to get on but today is proving difficult and I'm not going to lie, I'm close to caving in. I don't have any elastic bands so I've had to make do with hairbands. ​Thank you Mike It doesn't feel like it , I guess it's just because I've been clean for so long. At the moment I think it's the stress of (deferred) exams and not having done paper work in preparation for 2nd year. I feel like I could do with some help but my brains making it hard to reach out.

                    I agreed to medication for the 3rd time to see it would help take the edge off my urges but now I'm starting to get paranoid and they are giving me unwanted side effects. Dizepam was short term, I tried Sertraline a while back but I stopped because I couldn't take the side effects or trust myself with any medication. It's been a week back on them and I don't know if it's working or not.

                    Distraction Well done for getting through for five months, I really am proud of you because it's not easy, especially when urges are being so persistent. Thank you so much and the same goes for you to J x

                    Update: They were making me worse so I've stopped taking them.
                    Last edited by Salix alba; 05-08-2017, 02:32 PM.
                    "It's always about what you believe in. We believe that you should never give up, you should challenge everything you know and jump in way over your head" -Anatoly Zabruskov

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      .
                      Last edited by Salix alba; 09-08-2017, 11:38 PM.
                      "It's always about what you believe in. We believe that you should never give up, you should challenge everything you know and jump in way over your head" -Anatoly Zabruskov

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I don't even know what to say anymore. At this point I'm capable of anything. I'm so out of it and detached emotionally. I'm being watched like a hawk because I'm at risk to myself and others. I was just going to disappear today and go somewhere no one will find me. One minute I'm fine, the next I'm not. I can feel myself getting bigger and bigger and I've been b/p all week . I've been told to go to A&E again. I don't see how it's going to help?
                        Last edited by Salix alba; 15-08-2017, 02:54 PM.
                        "It's always about what you believe in. We believe that you should never give up, you should challenge everything you know and jump in way over your head" -Anatoly Zabruskov

                        Comment

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