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Gender & Sexuality forum: now open!

Hey everyone,

You spoke and it was thus: due to popular demand and to celebrate Pride month, we're delighted to launch our new Gender & Sexuality forum!

Why not head over now and take a look around. Make sure you look through the guidelines (and add your own suggestions) and read all about the history of Pride

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James, Aife, Mike & Kathleen
(The Mix team)
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Post of The Month (April)

Maisy is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community:

"You're not bitchy at all. What this guy did to you, and how he invalidates it afterwards is horrific and you deserve justice. Rape can happen to anyone..."

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Giving up sorry

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  • Giving up sorry

    Hey guys

    I know I can always turn to you for support and help

    I'm having a really hard time at the moment and I'm really really struggling a day dosnt go by now where I'm not hurting myself or having suicidal thoughts things are really really hard .. I hardly get any sleep now and if I do I cry myself to sleep and wake up after a little while sweating and crying..

    I've got the most amazing friend and she's helping me a lot I just wish I didn't dump all my issues on her cause in reality I know it must be tiering she's the only one around me that I can trust with everything.

    On Friday me and my partner when to the local sexual health clinic and he got a sexual health test and I got the implant the same time ( I wasn't tested ) but since than we have drifted apart so much and if now feels like we are strangers and I don't know what to do .... I wrote him a long text message putting my heart on the page and all I got nothing back I just don't know what's happened.. could it be test results or something else it hurts soo much

    Things are going downhill and it's making me feel like life isn't worth living anymore and I don't know what to do
    Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.
    Dr. Seuss

  • #2
    Why is it I destroy everything thing I ever have the things that meant the world to me I hurt and lost I only deserve love if I'm getting hurt
    Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.
    Dr. Seuss

    Comment


    • #3
      Hey Horsemad,

      I don't know whether this helps to hear but I'm going to say it anyway - you've nothing to apologise for. With this much going on, I don't think anybody would blame you or think you wrong for feeling like giving up. It's okay to feel like this and it's okay to talk to us.

      Good on both you and your partner for going to the sexual health clinic, by the way. Not always the easiest thing to do and to talk about but it's great that you guys are. I don't know much about your situation but it seems odd to drift after a sexual health screening... do you know what else might be causing the distance? It's also worth remembering that people can naturally drift back and forth depending on what they're doing and what's going on for them, and if they are it's not necessarily any fault of you or your relationship. Again, I don't know your situation as well as you do so I don't know if that applies!

      Not sleeping and feeling constantly worn out can be a real weight on top of everything else, too. It can be even harder to process these feelings and seek support when you don't have the head space to do it. You said you have a close friend that you talk to - is there anyone else you've been able to confide in? Going by what you said about messaging him, it sounds like you're able to tell your partner some things?

      Well done for reaching out to us - you're doing really well. Let us know how things are going.
      "You're familiar with the phrase "man's reach exceeds his grasp"? It's a lie: man's grasp exceeds his nerve."

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Mike View Post
        Hey Horsemad,

        I don't know whether this helps to hear but I'm going to say it anyway - you've nothing to apologise for. With this much going on, I don't think anybody would blame you or think you wrong for feeling like giving up. It's okay to feel like this and it's okay to talk to us.

        Good on both you and your partner for going to the sexual health clinic, by the way. Not always the easiest thing to do and to talk about but it's great that you guys are. I don't know much about your situation but it seems odd to drift after a sexual health screening... do you know what else might be causing the distance? It's also worth remembering that people can naturally drift back and forth depending on what they're doing and what's going on for them, and if they are it's not necessarily any fault of you or your relationship. Again, I don't know your situation as well as you do so I don't know if that applies!

        Not sleeping and feeling constantly worn out can be a real weight on top of everything else, too. It can be even harder to process these feelings and seek support when you don't have the head space to do it. You said you have a close friend that you talk to - is there anyone else you've been able to confide in? Going by what you said about messaging him, it sounds like you're able to tell your partner some things?

        Well done for reaching out to us - you're doing really well. Let us know how things are going.
        Hey mike

        I'm so stuck I don't know what to do I work up to a text saying that he feels different and he just want to be friends I feel so shit
        Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.
        Dr. Seuss

        Comment


        • #5
          😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
          Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.
          Dr. Seuss

          Comment


          • #6
            Hi Horsemad, how are you today? I see you posted early this morning, and wondered if you managed to get some sleep. As Mike said, lack of sleep can be a huge weight on top of everything you're going through.
            Also from your last message you said you being "so stuck", can you tell me about those emotions today? Did you reply to the text?

            Your life is definitely worth living, and I can ensure things will get better with time - we are all here for you.

            You're doing well, Horsemad- keep us updated

            Comment


            • #7
              Hi Nikki

              I got a couple hours sleep and at work today for 12 hours I'm exhausted , lost confused unwanted worthless and hurt I feel like I'm in the racetrack which I carnt get offf and it driving me crazy and already feel crazy I just dunno what to do
              Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.
              Dr. Seuss

              Comment


              • #8
                Heyy Horsemad,

                You’ve done so well to reach out about how you're feeling. It sounds like you're having a hard time at the moment and feel like you're struggling. It's never easy when the person we care about just wants to be friends, especially after we've opened up our heart to them. I just wanted to say that none of this is your fault at all, and although it might not feel like it right now, this feeling won't last forever. Break ups suck and are always hard to go through, but give yourself time. Like Nikki mentioned, things will get better with time and you're not alone at all, we're all here for you whenever you want to talk

                How are things going at the moment with your partner? Have you heard anything else from him since he said he just wanted to be friends?

                - Aife

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Aife View Post
                  Heyy Horsemad,

                  You’ve done so well to reach out about how you're feeling. It sounds like you're having a hard time at the moment and feel like you're struggling. It's never easy when the person we care about just wants to be friends, especially after we've opened up our heart to them. I just wanted to say that none of this is your fault at all, and although it might not feel like it right now, this feeling won't last forever. Break ups suck and are always hard to go through, but give yourself time. Like Nikki mentioned, things will get better with time and you're not alone at all, we're all here for you whenever you want to talk

                  How are things going at the moment with your partner? Have you heard anything else from him since he said he just wanted to be friends?

                  - Aife
                  Hi aife

                  Thus feeling just gets worse and I feel so detached and not in my own body if that makes sense . I find myself sat at the same place for hours just staring in to space

                  I'm trying to just be friend but it's soo hard and we talk but like normal friend I so want him to realise that he still has feelings for me but that's never going to happen I'm sorry for bothering you guys on the boards I'm sorry you mods have better things todo
                  Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.
                  Dr. Seuss

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Hey Horsemad,

                    You're not bothering us at all, we're all here for you whenever you want to talk things through and get some advice

                    I'm really sorry to hear you feel this way, it sounds like things are really tough right now. You've mentioned that you feel detached and not in your own body, do you want to talk a bit more about this? Breakups are never easy to go through, there's some great advice on The Mix website about how to cope when we've broken up with someone, I hope it's helpful.

                    Some of the advice mentions to keep talking to people about how you're feeling and not bottle them up. Do you find making threads a helpful way to talk about how your feeling? This article also mentions surrounding yourself with people or going out to distract yourself from these feelings, is there something you love to do that will help distract you?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      The mods are here to specially help you and everyone else. So cant be bothering anyone because want to help not forcing selves to help you. And helps to talk. You sound like you are going through a lot anf feeling detached from your body happens with strong emotions and stress and is horrible andscarey so i hope you are feeling better today and had some sleep. x
                      "Fight fear for the selfish pain, it was worth it everytime" Clairty - Zedd, Foxes

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Hey guys I'm sorry
                        Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.
                        Dr. Seuss

                        Comment

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