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exhaustion.

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  • exhaustion.

    not really sure what i want here but maybe just a place to document.
    i'm beyond exhausted, i have two jobs, i'm doing a degree, i'm a singer/writer and always deeply in touch with my emotions for this reason and i can't always cope. i don't eat well, i don't sleep well and i'm just so so so exhausted. everything would be fine if i didn't have to fucking work two jobs. being a student in london on minimum student loan is IMPOSSIBLE. but somehow i'm doing it at the expense of my health. summer is going to be incredible, i have so much to do but the pressure to lose weight is exhausting me and filling me with guilt. i can't exercise because i'm too tired to walk places, i live on coffee and cigarettes and get my energy from energy fucking tablets. i need money to survive, i need to work but i just wish i could get more funding, i've exhausted all options with money and i get nowhere. my parents are a great help but being in my 20's i don't need to depend on them and they don't need me nagging them for money.

    it's hard.
    i'm sorry for the rant.
    ugh.
    love, me

  • #2
    I don't even know what to say I struggle with an eatind disorder so I can relate to what you're saying... I'm right here if you want to talk ok? Don't give up please! It has to get better, otherwise, what is the point of living right? There is more to life that this. Stay strong lil one <3

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    • #3
      Ella

      I can sort of understand what you're saying. The pressure from everything losing weight and jobs, being a student and money. But you can still depend on people no matter what age you are even your parents and dont have to manage the stresses all by yourself. Like we are here for you to vent so you dont need to say sorry for venting. I sounds really hard - even one of those pressures are hard in it self. I'm here if you need someone to rant to.
      "Nothing's ever what we expect, but they keep asking where we're going next" Robin Schulz - Sun goes down

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      • #4
        thank you lovelies!!

        it just gets a bit much sometimes y'know? but i'm okay & i always am (have to be right?)
        thanks for being there

        all the love
        ella xo
        love, me

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