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UPDATE: As far as we can tell, all posts made by The Mix account in the last 12 months (roughly) have been lost. We're working to retrieve them, but for now you might see some gaps or seemingly unanswered questions lying around the forums. It also means the Live Chat Announcements and We Need You sub-forums are looking pretty bare. Bear with us, we're working on it.
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Post of The Month (May)

Horsemad is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community:

"Hey lost sense,
I've had several MRI scan on my head and back i look at it as a huge ring doungnut that your going through the middle. You will has a thing over your head and will have earphones on they will speak to you through them a erasure you, I gave them my phone so they could play my playlist I was given a panic button so if I felt panicky I could press it and they would stop and get me out xx.."
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Abortion

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  • Abortion

    I was pregnant with mine and my ex`s baby. He left me and I'm not having him back because he cheated on me. I cant raise a child alone as it would be too hard for me and too cruel for the baby. I would have had to put the baby into care and then up for adoption and from my experience I would feel wrong doing that because its not the best start for the individual.
    ​I therefore took the hard decision to have an abortion which took place yesterday (sunday)! Ever since ive had it done ive just felt nothing but guilt and sadness as I'm imaging what would have happened if I did decide to keep the child! Also feel like this since I lost another child a few years ago that don't feel I can bring myself to raise another one!

    ​Need as much advice/support right now
    Last edited by Laura12345; 17-04-2017, 11:23 PM.

  • #2
    Hi Laura, sorry you've not had any replies yet. I just wanted to say, you made the right choice for you, and the one that you felt was right. I don't have much advice, but do take care of yourself, this is understandably a really hard time for you.

    How are you feeling today?
    "Truely independent person who doesn't do quotes, just dates".. (29.04.17)

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    • #3
      Heya Laura,

      Don't blame yourself. You did what was right for you. You don't have many replies probably just because it's a very emotional subject that few know about. Me included, especially since I'm just a bloke.

      Just wanted to let you know I'm here for you through thick and thin, hope you're okay now and if not, don't worry. I'm sure that there's no 'normal' way to feel, and I'm so sorry you've had to lose a child twice. No one deserves that.

      How are you coping love?
      SUCCESS is not final, FAILURE is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts

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      • #4

        ​Hi Elleloveschocolate. Thanks for the reply. Yeh in my opinion I made the right choice at the time even if right now I'm feeling differently about the whole situation. Yeh its a hard time for me right now not just because of this topic but other things as well. I'm not doing much better today unfortunately. Feel free to send me a PM if there is anything you want to talk about. I have sent you one right now!!! Thanks again for the reply means a lot.

        ​Hi Aidan. I do blame myself still but at the same time I know what I did was right. Yeh I know not many people are going to know about this but I would appreciate any support or replies just to know people are there for me!!! Thanks for saying you are there for me that means a lot. x I'm not feeling good at the moment. Chat through our normal way of communication. Aidan you have helped me lots recently and I hope many others will do the same. The first time I lost a child it wasn't my fault but this time I still feel it was my fault despite you telling me different.

        ​Need as much support as possible through everything I'm going through right now. Thank you both for the reply

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        • #5
          Stay strong. Like you always have.

          "Our normal way of communication", you mean messenger pigeon? It's a bit difficult, but okay. I'll catch more pigeons.

          Sorry you aren't feeling good still, but like I said it's fine and there is no normal. Anyway, I'll get off the mix and grab another pigeon for ya x
          SUCCESS is not final, FAILURE is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts

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          • #6
            Hey Laura,

            It's beyond an understatement to say it sucks that you had to go through this. As Aidan said, this is a very difficult subject and there may not be too many people around able to truly tap into how you're feeling right now. If there are, hopefully they can drop in and offer some insight and words of more comfort than the ones we're able to provide.

            We are and will always be here for you, though. Despite having a lot of tough thoughts right now, as you said it was a hugely difficult decision for you and nobody makes those choices on a whim. It sounds like you put a huge amount of thought and deliberation into it, and it being right for you is what's important. Things often look so different in hindsight, but I for one tip my hat to you for just being able to make that impossible decision and keeping it together with so much going on.

            There's no right or wrong way to feel. Allow yourself some time to be with your emotions and your thoughts - let yourself 'grieve' and deal with things however you need to.

            A couple of things you might find to be comforting reading (if you haven't seen them already) are our articles on dealing with and recovering from an abortion.

            Take good care and keep us posted. We're always here.
            "You're familiar with the phrase "man's reach exceeds his grasp"? It's a lie: man's grasp exceeds his nerve."

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            • #7
              Hi Mike. Sorry ive taken so long to reply but I haven't been feeling myself recently so just needed some time to myself. I felt that it was the right decision by going for the abortion because of what ive been through in the past that I didn't feel I could keep the child. if anyone is around that knows how I feel please reach out to me because I'm still struggling . Thanks for saying you would be there for me means a lot. I know I made the right decision at the time. Thanks for the links they were useful. I have so much going on right now and things are tough. Everything is just getting to me at the moment

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