Essential support for under 25s

Announcement

Collapse

Got exams coming up?

Exams can be a stressful time for many of us, so we've created a new exams forum where you can get revision tips, share motivational messages, and rant about all your exams!
See more
See less

Can anyone relate Ptw

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #31
    In case it's triggering don't read if you don't want to be triggered.

    I'm so angry and i hardly ever feel anger. I don't know what's wrong with me but I fucking hate myself. I just feel like self harming again. Why am such a fucking psycho and unstable. I deserve all of this. I ruin everything and everyone. I feel so so low. I just keep crying. I want to stop crying and this all to end:'(
    "To me where the wild things are is a place that exists in our minds.
    Its a place of liberty and shamelessness.
    It can take a split second of a life time to find it, but once you do, you'll be free" - Alessia Cara

    Comment


    • #32
      Are you able to release your angry sometime punching a pillow can really help. I don't hate you and sorry I can't answer why you might hate yourself but you are strong and you can do this.

      You don't need to self harm tonight, we can do this and we can get through this will get better, you need someone to push you through and I will do that. Your not a psycho at all or unstable. You just need a bit of extra support.

      You haven't ruined anything nothing is your fault try and believe me.

      Comment


      • #33
        I felt just so so angry the other day. The whole world was against me, I just felt so powerless and hopeless. I found a pickaxe in our garden, all I wanted to do was bury it in my chest and end it all. I picked it up.

        And then I saw a big rock in the corner. I spent the next few minutes smashing up that boulder with a pickaxe until there were tiny pebbles everywhere.

        Anyway, the moral of the story is (and sorry if that sounded patronising, I just wanted to say it):
        -Releasing your anger is better than keeping it inside and letting it consume you
        -You can always break down a big crisis (the rock) into tiny problems (the little pebbles).

        Sorry I'm not much help, I don't really know what to say, I just hate seeing when people feel like you do and I want to help so badly. I hope things get better for you soon
        SUCCESS is not final, FAILURE is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts

        Comment


        • #34
          Thank you Adian and Charlotte.
          I got help and somehow I woke up in hospital.
          Im messed up
          I dont know what to do anymore. I don't want to live my life. I can't be bothered anymore.
          "To me where the wild things are is a place that exists in our minds.
          Its a place of liberty and shamelessness.
          It can take a split second of a life time to find it, but once you do, you'll be free" - Alessia Cara

          Comment


          • #35
            Hey

            I know that you've mentioned feeling as if your family don't care but deep down I think they do, maybe they are scared or maybe they don't know what to do to make things better, so they don't say anything at all because they also don't wan't to make things worse which is completely understandable.

            You're only 18 and you're still young please don't feel like you need to have your shit together because [whispers] most of us still don't and remember you're dealing with some really intense stuff, think of it like a seesaw. The shifts in your moods drop a whole load of rocks on one side, tipping the other side up. so this now means you have to do something drastic to balance out the two sides (in your case self harming).

            I don't think you really wan't to die, I think that you're trying to process everything that you're feeling whilst trying not to be a burden on anyone but you're also trying to communicate to people through actions that you're not okay and that your distress is all real. I know this from reading things you wrote and because I feel like that too sometimes.

            We all make mistakes, even when we don't mean to that's just part of being human Shaunie you're not a bad person or someone that needs to be punished or removed from the earth. You're just someone who's trying to make sense of everything whist trying to cope the best was know how to. Don't be so hard on yourself

            Ride the waves, that's what I say because it's only temporary and hopefully after they've given you the right treatment you'll have tools to help make things a bit easier for you in terms of coping.

            Last edited by Notagainvitelina; 22-04-2017, 10:38 PM.

            Comment


            • #36
              Ok well i did post a lot morw then what i just wrote a few minutes ago. But thank you notagain.
              "To me where the wild things are is a place that exists in our minds.
              Its a place of liberty and shamelessness.
              It can take a split second of a life time to find it, but once you do, you'll be free" - Alessia Cara

              Comment


              • #37
                Ffs I cant even explain my self .why is it deleting most
                "To me where the wild things are is a place that exists in our minds.
                Its a place of liberty and shamelessness.
                It can take a split second of a life time to find it, but once you do, you'll be free" - Alessia Cara

                Comment


                • #38
                  Originally posted by Shaunie View Post
                  Ffs I cant even explain my self .why is it deleting most
                  Sorry, not sure I get it.
                  Do you mean most of what you're writing is dissappearing?
                  SUCCESS is not final, FAILURE is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Originally posted by Shaunie View Post
                    Ok well i did post a lot morw then what i just wrote a few minutes ago. But thank you notagain.

                    I'm not sure I understand, what do you mean?

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Yeah everything I write other then thank you. It's not even triggering it is just my thoughts I have around suicide. And i why i think i have to -more then want to. Because youre very right notagain.So please could be added back on
                      "To me where the wild things are is a place that exists in our minds.
                      Its a place of liberty and shamelessness.
                      It can take a split second of a life time to find it, but once you do, you'll be free" - Alessia Cara

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Originally posted by Shaunie View Post
                        Yeah everything I write other then thank you. It's not even triggering it is just my thoughts I have around suicide. And i why i think i have to -more then want to. Because youre very right notagain.So please could be added back on
                        That's very frustrating, we really want to help you but we can't if the posts aren't even working properly. Hate technology. Try and tell us as much as you can, please
                        SUCCESS is not final, FAILURE is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          I will try again -

                          I know a part of me doesn't want to die. I can't deny that. But the massive part of me feels like it is something i need to do. It is torture and i feel like it's not fair on me. And tbat may sound selfish because maybe i know down my family care but not enough to affect them like it would mosg people. I dont have many friends so it wont hurt many people. And as selfish as it sounds. My family should respect it, and be happy I won't be living another day of pain and torture.

                          And then there's the part where i get fixed plans. And even if i change my mind i I can't pshycally change my plan. Posting this on here makes it another reason for me to do. Because I've said it. I have to now. Otherwise i will feel like I'm seeking attention and feel like a failure and just a joke. O obviously dont think that of other people. How I think of other people and how I feel when it comes to myself is completely different.

                          I have no worth. My education is messed up and all i want to do is help people with it. Yet I'm to lazy. And I have been told I can do it, it's just not the right time. I dont see it ever being the right time. I'm useless to anyone.

                          I have thought long and hard about this cause it's obviously a massive decision.and i fee like i know my life and what is best for it. And i feel sane to make that decision. I've come think i dont even have any mental illness. I'm just a sensitive soul, who can't live in this world with so much stress and sadness. I cant change that. If im not even ill
                          "To me where the wild things are is a place that exists in our minds.
                          Its a place of liberty and shamelessness.
                          It can take a split second of a life time to find it, but once you do, you'll be free" - Alessia Cara

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            It's not selfish at all, Shaunie. A selfish person doesn't consider others, but you obviously do. You've been thinking about how it'll affect those who love you, and if you truly believe you're doing them a favour (which you aren't btw, I sincererly believe that) you have their wellbeing ahead of even your own.

                            I can understand the impulse to fulfill plans. "What's the point of making them if you aren't going to follow them?" is what I'm guessing is going through your head.

                            Well, Neil Armstrong planned to be a fighter pilot. He never planned to then be a test pilot, then an astronaut, and then the first man on the moon. The point is, plans are just a foundation for everything else to build off of, and you might end up in a better place by not following them exactly. You want to be free of this pain. There's other ways other than taking your life.

                            I don't mean this in a bad way, but I believe you are mentally ill. Point being, you need and deserve help, and you can be helped. You aren't lazy, you're lacking motivation (and no one can blame you). You aren't worthless, you're worth it. You aren't insane at all. But that doesn't mean you can't be helped.
                            SUCCESS is not final, FAILURE is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              I know it makes sense not to do it. And the closer it gets the more weird it feels. To be included with social plans. And i think - okay that sounds alright. But I'm nor going to be there. Then that's when i start questioning it. But then it's not worth the pain.

                              My whole thoughts are consumes by it about 90% and i feel like it will til I just do it. I can barely engage with conversation without looking like I've got the whole world on my shoulders. To stop the thoughts is to carry it out.

                              To me it all makes complete sense but also no sense. I really cant put into words how i feel and feel like im not explaining it right. But I'm scared of myself and i dont want to live but do. I'm fucked up.

                              I sometimes see myself in the future living a good life. And sometimes i see myself with no life and just stay in bed feeling sorry for myself still. I can't stand the thought of that. So i just dont want anything and not to risk it.
                              Last edited by Shaunie; 22-04-2017, 11:57 PM.
                              "To me where the wild things are is a place that exists in our minds.
                              Its a place of liberty and shamelessness.
                              It can take a split second of a life time to find it, but once you do, you'll be free" - Alessia Cara

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                How do I stop crying so much. It's not normal.
                                And how do I sleep properly. It's just making me more want to sleep forever there's not many options when I've tried everything else
                                "To me where the wild things are is a place that exists in our minds.
                                Its a place of liberty and shamelessness.
                                It can take a split second of a life time to find it, but once you do, you'll be free" - Alessia Cara

                                Comment

                                Hide this page

                                Local Advice Finder

                                Find local services

                                The Mix. Registered charity number: 1048995

                                Working...
                                X