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Gender & Sexuality forum: now open!

Hey everyone,

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Post of The Month (April)

Maisy is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community:

"You're not bitchy at all. What this guy did to you, and how he invalidates it afterwards is horrific and you deserve justice. Rape can happen to anyone..."

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What happens next?

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  • What happens next?

    I'm not going to go into too much depth but it's another day and I feel no different to how I was yesterday.Today (after calling 111) I was asked to come into hospital but I chose not to because I knew how it would end. so, I compromised with a call from a doctor(I'm not sure which one).


    I was wondering if anyone has been in a similar position and had any ideas on what would happen next?
    Last edited by Notagainvitelina; 08-04-2017, 02:15 PM. Reason: I'd like to clarify that I am physically fine, I'm home and I'm safe.
    "It's always about what you believe in. We believe that you should never give up, you should challenge everything you know and jump in way over your head" -Anatoly Zabruskov

  • #2
    I started to feel better as the day progressed and after I saw my grade for my latest assignment I actually felt pleased with myself which was a first. Something minor like misspelling has shifted my mood again and I don't know why I've been so unstable, this is the worsts that it's ever been.

    I've had no call so far (6 hours) but it's only just occurred to me that I might have given the nurse the wrong number, I was too distressed (bordering dissociative) to notice until now.
    "It's always about what you believe in. We believe that you should never give up, you should challenge everything you know and jump in way over your head" -Anatoly Zabruskov

    Comment


    • #3
      I hope you're feeling better today.? And it's nice to read you felt better! And that you actively rang someone when you felt like that
      Did you ever get that call?
      "Fight fear for the selfish pain, it was worth it everytime" Clairty - Zedd, Foxes

      Comment


      • #4
        Hey Notagain,

        Just wanted to check in with you to see how you were getting on. It sounds like the last few days have been particularly challenging, I'm really sorry to hear that.

        How are you doing today?

        - Mica

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Shaunie View Post
          I hope you're feeling better today.? And it's nice to read you felt better! And that you actively rang someone when you felt like that
          Did you ever get that call?

          Thank you I still haven't heard anything. I faintly remember her saying a number and asking if that was mine and I agreed because I could barely formulate a sentence let alone recite my own number to correct her because I was in hysterics.

          I doubt I'll hear anything, I don't even have a 5 in my number and a day has already passed which kinda sucks but since i'm feeling better it's not so bad.


          "It's always about what you believe in. We believe that you should never give up, you should challenge everything you know and jump in way over your head" -Anatoly Zabruskov

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by mica View Post
            Hey Notagain,

            Just wanted to check in with you to see how you were getting on. It sounds like the last few days have been particularly challenging, I'm really sorry to hear that.

            How are you doing today?

            - Mica


            I feel okay today, I feel like I'm holding it together to keep family from worrying.

            Underneath the feelings are still there.
            Last edited by Notagainvitelina; 10-04-2017, 06:19 PM. Reason: Something just triggered me and I'm back to square one.
            "It's always about what you believe in. We believe that you should never give up, you should challenge everything you know and jump in way over your head" -Anatoly Zabruskov

            Comment


            • #7
              I can't switch it off and I can't sleep because of it. I feel like things are crawling on me and I want to cut myself so bad. This time Is when I usually break and give into urges . I don't care anymore, I don't .

              I feel like such a failure and a bad daughter. I've broken out in spots and mums hiding food again and I'm gaining AGAIN. And every time food comes up I get deffo naive and we argue. She's worried that I'm putting so much toxins in my body and it was hard to hear.

              It feels intense and I've cried so much already . I don't care anymore I need a release. I've tried my absolute fucking hardest and I can't anymore. I can't .
              "It's always about what you believe in. We believe that you should never give up, you should challenge everything you know and jump in way over your head" -Anatoly Zabruskov

              Comment


              • #8
                Hey notagain,

                Can you ring them back if you are struggling and explain what happened? It sounds really difficult to feel that way. Did you manage to get through your urges last night? It sounds like you feel things are going downhill again, I remember you wrote that really positive thread about recovery and moving forwards, can you read your words again to try to regain some hope and motivation for recovery? I'm sure you already know the list of distractions but I'll post them again here just incase

                Thinking of you x

                Comment


                • #9
                  Thank you Jellyelephant
                  "It's always about what you believe in. We believe that you should never give up, you should challenge everything you know and jump in way over your head" -Anatoly Zabruskov

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I called again and It was suggested that I go to hospital, the last time I went to A&E nothing was done, they sent me home and I overdosed the next day.

                    I just don know what to do, I don't wan't to go to hospital and I don't wan't to go to the GP because I know how it goes. They send you home regardless and I'm not paying for transport just to come home again.

                    I feel like hurting myself and the urge to binge is intense.

                    I've tired to call F but she's not picking up, she hasn't picked up my calls in a long time.
                    I called NHS 111, they said to go to the GP or go to hospital.
                    I tried call Beat but it was out of hours.
                    I called the GP but now I'm unregistered because of Uni so the receptionist told me to come at 5 to fill in to a form or something

                    I'm so torn between reaching out and not, it's making impossible to do anything. I can't concentrate and my exams are soon and I've done nothing for almost an entire month.
                    "It's always about what you believe in. We believe that you should never give up, you should challenge everything you know and jump in way over your head" -Anatoly Zabruskov

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Hey notagain,

                      I understand what you mean - sometimes services that are supposed to help are just useless. You can see your home doctor if you fill in a temporary resident form - which I assume is what the receptionist was talking about. It sounds like you do want help deep down - its just hard feeling like you might be let down. If you go to hospital you can see the mental health team there too. Perhaps the doctors can put you in touch with crisis services? Or it may just help having someone to talk to about how low you are feeling?

                      I hope you can manage to reach out to someone as it sounds like you are really struggling.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Also there is obviously helplines such as samaritans if you feel like it might help just to talk to someone

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          They referred me to the mental health team. I didn't have a choice, it was either that or I get forced to be on medication with immediate effect in order to "stabilise my mood". I don't have bipolar, I'm not depressed and my apparent personality disorder isn't real and I know it isn't real and I've worked it all out.

                          Shit, I've just realised today exactly on this day a year ago I was discharged from the mental health services.


                          Jellyelephant Thank you, I needed to hear that today .
                          Last edited by Notagainvitelina; 11-04-2017, 08:04 PM.
                          "It's always about what you believe in. We believe that you should never give up, you should challenge everything you know and jump in way over your head" -Anatoly Zabruskov

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Hey Notagain.

                            Just wanted to check in with your today to see how you're doing? Sending you positive vibes (and hugs if you'd like them )

                            - Mica

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I really hope you're feeling better today!
                              It sounds like you're really struggling
                              And it's so frustrating and upsetting to read how dissapioning the NHS can be but I hope that doesn't stop you from going to hospital or calling someone again. Even if it's just a place to go for safety. I hope the mental health team help you soon.
                              "Fight fear for the selfish pain, it was worth it everytime" Clairty - Zedd, Foxes

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