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Gender & Sexuality forum: now open!

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You spoke and it was thus: due to popular demand and to celebrate Pride month, we're delighted to launch our new Gender & Sexuality forum!

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Post of The Month (April)

Maisy is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community:

"You're not bitchy at all. What this guy did to you, and how he invalidates it afterwards is horrific and you deserve justice. Rape can happen to anyone..."

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Rape and me. I took him to court and I won

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  • Rape and me. I took him to court and I won

    [Note from Mods: Just a little note to say that LostSense has been incredibly brave to share her story with us. Us Mods have edited this a little but, it does still contain details that some people may find upsetting ]

    I thought I would share my story as well on here as it might help me at the moment because I don't really like Sunday nights and Monday nights. It might help others too. I was 20 when it happened (I'm 22 next month) and he was 23 when he raped me. This may be long so thankyou for reading.

    My rape happened in a hostel I was living in I was there for a week and a half before I moved out because of the rape. In the week and a half I lived there I got to know this guy he would say things to me like "you got beautiful eyes" and "gorgeous" he made me believe I was special and because of that I was falling in love with him STUPID I NOW KNOW I WAS.

    In July in 2015 this guy got kicked out of the hostel for the night (I wasn't aware until the morning) for giving a person a pill which was some sort of drug. So silly me was wondering where he was that night..I was actually in tears, missing him. STUPID I AM I KNOW. I didn't sleep, I was up all night wondering where he was (so thats why I dont like sunday nights)

    The next Monday I was sat in the communal room and he came in and explained the reason why he hadent been in the hostel overnight and then he went to sleep so I didn't see him again untill about 4pm where he approached me and said he wanted to give me a massage I said no. So I went to my room and heard him talking to girls in the outside area in the garden. It was making me jelous STUPID I KNOW I self harmed and cried. I then went for a shower and came back to my room MY LIGHT WAS ON (this is important for later on) and I fell asleep for a few hours in my undies as I could only be bothered to part get ready after the shower and put a long cardy on top SO IT DOSENT MATTER WHAT YOU'RE WEARING.

    I was woken up by this guy at about 8:20pm knocking on my door and he asked if we could have cuddles so I let him into my room JUST IF I WOULDN'T OF LET HIM IN I WOULDN'T OF BEEN RAPED! we cuddled and kissed and then he got up and closed my window and blinds and took his clothes of I said WHAT ARE YOU DOING and he got onto my bed and pinned me down [Content Removed]. Still to this day I bleed because I haven't been checked over because I'm too embarrassed. He got him self changed and told me to keep it our dirty little secret and switched my light off (so he left me in the dark) so now to sleep I always have to have a lamp on.

    Only at court when we all saw the CCTV I realised he bought a bag into my room and then after he left my room he went for a shower we saw on the CCTV footage of the hostel ON MY LANDING the court thought he pre-planned to come to my room and rape me because he bought his shower stuff in a bag to my room. I was left in my room in the dark felt numb, disgusting, ashamed. I just cried and sat on the floor hurting myself banging my head on the wall WHY ME?. I then went for a shower because I needed to get him off me and back to my room. I changed undies and put clothes on.

    I became the fighter then and went banging on othe doors and like moving my hand up to the cameras as in *come here* hoping a staff member would see and come up to me or I would get another resident to go and get a staff member. I had no luck so I very slowly walked down the stairs and I stood at the bottom of the stairs for ages THAT was seen on the CCTV footage too. I was too scared and frightened of seeing him again.

    Eventually a man opened the door to go upstairs so I thought here's my chance so I asked him to ask a staff member to come and see *my name* later on when I saw the CCTV footage in court the guy who raped me heard this so he ran into his room. When I asked this man to ask a staff member to come and see me I ran up to my room and a staff member followed me into my room we sat on the edge of my bed, I was crying, she held my hand (the staff member) and I told her I was raped.

    I was so frightened to go downstairs but she held my hand and took me into the office where another staff member was and they asked if I wanted to report him I said YES not a doubt in my mind. It was then a waiting game for the police first of they came for him now this was probably about 10:00pm and they took him away in handcuffs. Then I waited for specialist police to come for me and they came about an hour later. They told me they had to get all my bedding and what I was wearing they wanted me to go back up to my room and show them but I didnt want to so I described my undies and cardy.

    The police then took me to the police station and I done a statement and the other stuff, a urine test ect. I remember being so frightened because he was at that police station too. I also remember being so thirsty but they wouldn't let me have a drink for hours. This was like midnight now they took me to a SARC where I had my rape kit done. THAT WAS LIKE SO TRAUMATIC. I cried all the way through it. I held the crisis workers hand so tight I wouldn't let her go at this point I found out about my injurys and they gave me pads because I was bleeding so much.

    They then took me back to the hostel. I got back at 4am. Thats why I HATE HATE MONDAY NIGHTS At this point all my dignity and self worth was gone. I had been touched where I didn't want to be and put through things I didn't want to be put through. I didn't sleep and was just frozen on the settee in the communal room. I didn't go to bed. On Tuesday the 14th of July 2015 I was told the police were coming for me to do the ABE INTERVIEW my support worker from the hostel came with me for this.

    In July 2015 I had the police round again at the hostel that I had to sign papers to say I wouldn't disscuss anything online as now it was a criminal investigation or they would seize my phone later that day I was also told he was remanded. Later in July I moved into a different hostel. Then my part was over for abit. At his plea he pleaded not guilty so it was took to crown court where the cps decided there was enough evidence so it went to trial. I did my pre-trail visit in November 2015 and the trial started In December 2015 it lasted 5days and I gave evidence on one of those days where I had a screen. I still went to the 4th and 5th day as I wanted to hear the verdict we waited long time for this as there were other cases going on between mine aswell we finally got called in. I was shaking and already started crying.

    The judge asked the jury have you reached a verdict and they said YES and I just put my head onto the police lady's lap and couldn't hear what they said all I heard was not guilty but once I calmed down the police lady told me it was guilty on count 1 (vaginal sex) but not guilty on count 2 (attempted anal sex) I didnt know what to think then. I was just happy that it was a guilty. He was then sentanced in February 2016 to 9years but 4years and 6months in prision and 4years and 6months on licence. Because he was remanded time was took of the time in prision so he gets out in January 2020 and also sign the sex offenders register for life (which is 15years now and then they've got to re-apply).

    I litcherally wanted to thank the jury but the police lady told me not to. I could litcherally of gave them all flowers for believing me and not his lies.
    So that's it. A couple of things I've only touched bass on so if you want to know anything or talk about anything I don't mind you messaging me. I can help you💜💙
    Last edited by zaynah; 20-03-2017, 11:47 AM.
    You are enough

  • #2
    Hiya Lostsense,

    Thanks for sharing your story. As emotional as this post was to read, it is really empowering to hear about your success in reporting and getting legal justice. Itís a hard path you chose to walk by bringing it all the way to court, and you did so very bravely. Your strength and perseverance are so admirable!

    You may have noticed that we edited a bit of the more detailed sections of your post, and added a message to the top. We did this just to make sure people know what theyíre reading in hopes of giving the community the chance to avoid content that might be challenging for them to read. Oh, and we also added paragraph breaks to make it a little easier to read. Hopefully thatís okay with you

    I hope you found it helpful to write this all out. Thatís something many of the community members have found helpful, so Iím curious to know if writing was helpful to you as well?

    After such a tough experience, itís so generous of you to offer your support to others. Your participation in the community is much appreciated

    Wishing you the best,
    We're James, Aife & Mike: the staff team here at The Mix.
    If you have any questions about this place, feel free to
    ask over in the
    Help Desk or send us a private message.


    • #3
      Why have you made them to paragraphs?
      You are enough


      • #4
        I agree with Mica. Youre very strong to have reported and to have gone through this. Aand far from stupid! It is very hard to read but thank you for sharing.
        Last edited by Shaunie; 20-03-2017, 04:29 PM.
        "Fight fear for the selfish pain, it was worth it everytime" Clairty - Zedd, Foxes


        • #5
          You are enough


          • #6
            Lostsense I hope you know how incredibley brave you are. It's not easy to talk about these things but I think you are an amazing person and you're so strong to be able to talk about this.

            I'm so happy that you won the case and I know just how supportive you with everyone

            I hope you're doing well



            • #7
              Thanks OIAM Means a lot 💗 xx
              You are enough


              • #8
                Hey Lostsense,

                Mica mentioned this a little bit in her comment, but we added in some paragraph breaks just to make your post a bit easier to read, hope that's okay. We're more than happy to remove these breaks so your post is back to how it was?

                All the best,

                - Aife
                We're James, Aife & Mike: the staff team here at The Mix.
                If you have any questions about this place, feel free to
                ask over in the
                Help Desk or send us a private message.


                • #9
                  I guess I just made no breaks because I didn't really have a break in writing it. I did it all in one breath. So that's how it came with no breaks, my writing style but it's fine you can leave it with breaks.
                  You are enough


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