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Post of The Month (July)

Aidan is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"Hey Lucie,

You say you're still on medication and have had lots of therapy? Maybe it's a matter of revisiting old coping techniques and anything else like that, that therapy taught you?

And Drea is absolutely right! Even someone with everything material that they could ever want isn't insusceptible to mental illness. Any sex, race, age, class; it doesn't discriminate...
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Last night.. :(

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  • Last night.. :(

    Hello. So i was really mentally unwell last night. Self harmed and made an attempt on my life.. the on call worker came out to see me and was very concerned so called the manager to come to where i live. They stayed with me for 2 hours and all that time i refused medical attention because my mum works in a&e.. i didnt answer my phone when they phone at 8am this morning then the next thing i knew the on call worker was at the door.. she phoned the crisis team after learning i made another attempt as i barely slept last night. They told her to take me to a different city for a&e so my mum wouldnt be there but i refused. Now shes phoning me every few hours to check on me.. its put me off talking to them about how i feel.. dreading when my support worker is in monday!

  • #2
    Hi kayden

    sorry to hear you are struggling..why did you not want to go to a different a&e? sorry for the questions.
    Its good she is ringing to for me looking in from the out side it shows she is concerned and cares?
    what makes you not want to talk to them ?

    hope things get easier soon

    turtle

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    • #3
      Hi turtle thanks for replying. I was scared to talk to a mh worker in a&e.. im scared of hospitals and the whole concept of it all. I know she was concerned i spoke to her not long ago shes ringing me tomorrow morning to check in. I just feel like im a burden i mean like the manager came out too last night. Great first impression.. i dont feel like i deserve the support. The domestic abuse is my fault, i was the one who moved back into that environment i was so stupid. Im weak turtle and i feel it and accept it.

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      • #4
        Been told to keep my phone off to avoid abusive texts till my worker comes in monday but i cant help it. Wouldnt be able to come on here either if i turned my phone off..

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        • #5
          Hey kayden.
          Hope you're feeling bit better tonight. Ignore all the texts and hope you get the support you need
          The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide you are not going to stay where you are

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          • #6
            Hey Kayden

            Its ok to switch off for a while especially to avoid the texts. Kayden you may feel weak but everything that's happened is not your fault..but i know how hard that is to hear and even more tough to accept, sorry!


            how are you feeling about them supporting you? Are you glad you moved there ?
            i can understand the feeling of being a burden but i know you're not because they wouldn't want to help if they didn't think you were worth it.

            I hope things can get easier soon.

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            • #7
              Hey shaunie, turtle. Thanks for your replies!

              Had a phone call from on call this morn saying shes ringing my worker tomorrow morning to tell her the events of the weekend and to see if she can have a chat with me tomorrow at some point which i am really really dreading! Turtle if i was sensible i wouldnt of gone back to the situation. Now i live in fear of being found by family and her friends.. i feel fine about them supporting me its just that i was so bad friday i refused the help i even told on call not to come out to me but they did anyway. I feel like such a burden. Im glad i moved here but just struggling with the thoughts of my past and voices.

              Thank you both

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              • #8
                Hey Kayden,

                Tell us how your chat goes tomorrow im sure it'll be ok. Its ok sometimes not to wan support etc. I am very sorry to hear you are struggling with the past but the fact you went back is not your fault at all. I know that may be difficult to hear.

                take good care of yourself

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                • #9
                  Hi turtle im so anxious. Ive been awake for a while.. the staff are in, i heard them come in. My worker is probs on the phone to the on call worker. Im sat in my room shitting myself, dont want to leave my room at all.

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                  • #10
                    Arghh so my support worker just knocked my door asking if she can have a chat with me about what happened on the weekend.. so i tried to buy some time and say im on my way for a cigarette. Cleaner is in kitchen atm so cant go out the back - more time bought. Stressing stressing stressing

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                    • #11
                      Okay so she came to find me again.. the chat went okay just wanted to make sure if i needed medical attention. Asked if i wanted to discuss my past with her but i didnt feel able too. Also changed my phone number to stop people texting me.

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                      • #12
                        Hey Kayden,

                        It sounds like it's been a really difficult couple of days, I hope you are okay. You said that you are feeling anxious and stressing about talking to your support worker. For some people writing down anything you want to say can help when speaking with them. Is this something that might be useful? Do let us know how you get on today, wishing you all the best

                        Aife

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                        • #13
                          Hi Aife. The chat went okay, although she would of liked me to open up about my past which i cant do at the moment. When she asks me i can say it in my head but cant verbally get it out.

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                          • #14
                            Hi Kayden,

                            That is good to hear that the chat went okay this morning. It is okay to take your time to open up about your past. You should be really proud of yourself for speaking with her today and also opening up here on the boards too.

                            Do keep posting here whenever you need to we are all here for you.

                            Aife

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                            • #15
                              I tried to look for paper but i cant find any anywhere. I should of asked them before they left!! I wish i could just say whats on my mind. My brain is literally screaming it. Apart from my worker today i havent said a word. Im basically becoming a mute. It happened when i got out of my family situation when i was 16.. went through more trauma and i basically stopped speaking. Panic attack everytime i tried to speak about my past. It took weeks of therapy to get me to start talking again. I dont want to end up not speaking anymore again. I fear that. When i do talk to my workers its very quietly i do like im scared of something but i dont know what. Im going to turn into a bloody mute again!!

                              Comment

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