I have made a few posts over the years as i have dealt with depression, the urge to self harm and an anxiety disorder that kept me prisoner of my own home for 7 months.
I struggles a lot with self esteem, i thought i was in loveable and undeserving. I was scared of the out side world, i was scared that no one would like me because of the mistakes i have made in life and i contantly struggled with the thought and pleasure of death. I have had some very wonderful people support me on here, messages just to check i'm ok and generosity that has helped me through all my tough times.
If you read through my old posts you will realise the trials and tribulations i have been through.....
But i can now proudly say that i am living alone for the first time, i am out the family home and doing better than ever. I regularly see friends and even though i still have confidence issues, i know feel like i can make a life for myself. I haven't self harmed in 3 years, i don't own a blade anymore and i no longer want to kill myself.
I see the hope and beauty in every day. I get up every morning excited when i use to be so afraid. I can look at myself in the mirror and not only deal with the person that i am, but i now respect myself for everything i have been through.
So please don't give up on yourself or on your life because the journey really is the destination, the dice was loaded from the start. No one is perfect or pure, but you are worth love, respect and happiness. I never thought i would live to see 17 and i'm 20 this year.
What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us....trust me.