I am 17, 5'4, and I weigh 106 pounds (48.1 kilos). I play basketball 1 hr a day as well as golf 1 hr a day. I drink very little water naturally. I'm usually dehydrated. How long would it take me to starve to death?
I am 17 years old and I am in the foster care system. As a baby, my mother gave me and my siblings up because she was so young. (She had been 13 and my birth dad had raped her. He was in his 30's) When I was 6, a couple adopted us and told us they would love us forever. After the adoption was finalized, they wound up starving, beating, isolating, and torchering me while they treated my siblings amazing. They told me that I was just a mistake, a monster, and that I could never be loved. They said that they were trying to save me from going to hell but that it was hopeless. After 4 years of that, I was separated from my siblings (which broke my heart. I miss them so much) and placed back into foster care. After a year in foster care, a 17 year old boy continuously sexually abused me for some time. My current foster parents are getting divorced and basically ignore me. My first love whom I was with for 2 years broke up with me 3 months ago and said he never wants to see me, talk to me, or be friends ever again. He said he's happier without me in his life. I put more trust and love into him than I had ever put into anyone and now it's over. Now, I don't know if there is such thing as true love or if love can really last. I feel disconnected from humans and I'm afraid of being hurt but at the same time, I long for a close, safe relationship. My biggest dream has always been to grow up, get married to a loving, loyal, great husband, and have kids that i can give the childhood I didn't have to. But, I feel like that will never happen. I truly do feel unloved, unworthy, and like a mistake. I feel so alone. I feel like I just can't be loved. I don't have many friends and I do have a therapist (I've been going to her for 5 years). But therapy just hasn't worked. This is my last semester of high school and after that, I go out into the world alone. I don't know what to do and I don't know how to feel comfortable trusting people anymore. Everytime I have trusted and loved, it has always wound up bad for me and has hurt so much.
Firstly welcome to TheSite. What a really sad story. Growing up sounds like its been a really tough journey.
To answer your question, I obivously dont know, and like SuzyCreamcheese said its not a safe thing to try and do. You say yourself that you have aspirations and dreams, these are worth holding on too, especially when your feeling down.
Have you spoken to your therapist about these feelings and explained how you feel the process isn't working for you? They might be able to suggest some alternatives.
Offloading on here and opening up about the feelings you've been experiencing can be a great help.
I dont know your geographical position, but if you're after confidential advice, you could always try Support Line on 01708 765200, where someone would be able to offer confidential advice and hopefully some comfort regarding how you are feeling at the moment.
Keep in touch and let us know how you get on. There's always someone here to listen.
Ps, you'll find more info on Support Line on there website below...
I tried for such a long time. But nothing has changed. I've always tried to keep up so much hope but its always crushed. I've lost it all and now i cant trust people and i dont know what to believe anymore. I feel like everyone is happier without me in their lives.
I've told this to my foster parents numorous times but they're too wrapped in their divorce to listen to me. Ive tried talking to school councilors but they always say "just get over it. It's the past." I used to be on depression meds but they didnt help because i dont have a chemical imbalance. I have a broken heart and a traumatic life. i wish i could just move away and forget everything, but everything follows me wherever i go. I want to be at peace and i want a family or someone who won't just leave me. The past few years, ive worked really hard for scholarships, for the SAT, and for good grades to get into college but it all seems so pointless because i have no one to share my life with.
If she is in this fragile state and not comfortable with her life on her own, she could become dependent on this other person. If that was the case then what happens if they split up, could be devastating for her. All I'm saying is that when she's ready, she will by all means want someone in her life, but not need them to survive.
"Sometimes it's worth making your own opportunities instead of waiting for others"