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Shortest funniest joke in the world

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  • Shortest funniest joke in the world

    Here's my effort ...........
    How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?..................................Put it in the microwave until it's bill withers....

    Or

    Why do mice have small balls ? .....................................Because not that many of them can dance.

    Or

    Where can you find a hamster with no legs ? ............................Wherever you left it !

    Ok, Your turn, Ready, Steady, Go!
    There are three kinds of people in this world,... Those who can count and those who cannot !

  • #2
    what dya call a fish with no eye?
    fshhhhhhhhhh
    I can see it in your eyes, I can see it in your smile. you're all ive ever wanted and my arms are open wide.

    Comment


    • #3
      A man walks into a bar.....

      Ouch!


      A man walks into a bar....

      With a roll of Tarmac under his arm....

      "Pint of lager please mate".....

      "And one for the road"

      Comment


      • #4
        "My dog Minton keeps eating all my shuttlecocks."
        "Bad Minton!"

        Comment


        • #5
          A fish swims into a wall.

          Dam.
          If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants - Isaac Newton

          The great tragedy of Science; the slaying of a beautiful hypothesis by an ugly fact - T. H. Huxley

          Comment


          • #6
            mines still way funniest!
            I can see it in your eyes, I can see it in your smile. you're all ive ever wanted and my arms are open wide.

            Comment


            • #7
              Whats brown and sticky ?


              A stick !

              I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

              Comment


              • #8
                what do you do if you see a spaceman?

                Park in it man!

                Comment


                • #9
                  which one did u like? i put 2 jokes up

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    How do you catch squirrels?


                    Have a one-night stand with a dead tree
                    "There was no certainty in my own life. I could wander where I would. The terrible freedom of a lost soul."
                    -- from Among Muslims by Kathleen Jamie

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      no way, the best joke ever is...

                      Theres 2 fish in a tank, and one says

                      "How do u drive this thing?"

                      [If u notice this notice, u will notice, that this notice is not worth noticing]

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Thefairmelissa
                        One for the Teutons amongst us.

                        Warum heißt Kanada Kanada?
                        - Weil keiner da ist.

                        Funniest joke in German, apparently.
                        All these talking machines are getting me down. My car tells me to put my seatbelt on, my fridge tells me to shut the door and my table lamp tells me to go out and kill people.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I was driving down the motorway with my bird the other day when we both got a bit frisky and decided to do something about it. So we decided we'd take the next exit, but it was a turn-off.


                          A man walked into the doctors, he said "I've hurt my arm in several places" The doctor said "well don't go there any more".

                          A man walked into the doctors, The doctor said " I haven't seen you in a long time " The man replied "I know I've been ill".

                          Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.


                          Eat well, stay fit - Die anyway

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains!!

                            Pull yourself together, man!


                            What does a fish pick it's nose with?
                            - Fish Fingers.


                            What's the last thing to enter a fly's head before it hits the windscreen?
                            - It's ass.


                            What two things in the air can make a woman pregnant?
                            - Her legs.
                            when i counted up my demons
                            saw there was one for everyday
                            with the good ones on my shoulder
                            i drove the other ones away
                            so if you ever feel neglected
                            if you think that all is lost
                            i'll be counting up my demons
                            hoping everything's not lost...

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by kaz
                              What's the last thing to enter a fly's head before it hits the windscreen?
                              - It's ass.
                              That joke nearly killed me dammit!
                              All these talking machines are getting me down. My car tells me to put my seatbelt on, my fridge tells me to shut the door and my table lamp tells me to go out and kill people.

                              Comment

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