Feeling totally lost

[skyblue]

Hi all

Feel a bit useless at the minute, any ideas would be cool.

Basically in the last couple of years I had a couple of really bad relationships and breakups, and the aftermath of them is fucking with my head.

I don't like seeing people hurting and I'd still do anything for any of my exes even though loads has happened. But the last girl just seemed to see me as someone to give her cuddles and say nice things about her, there was so much about me she didn't know and blatantly wasn't really interested in knowing. Yet all I got were things like "I love you so much" and all that shit when I knew deep down she didn't really want me for me. The relationship broke down a while back, but it's been hard because we're still in contact and she's been having a proper hard time of it this last year and I want to help her as much as I can, but I'm starting to realise that the relationship and the aftermath has fucked me up too.

I still get my last ex phoning me when she's upset (eg 3.30am on Friday night)
and I spend ages trying to tell her it's OK and listening and trying to help. Then I text her the next day and ask how things are and she's still upset and I feel like I'm useless, but then I hate of her feeling alone.

I now feel totally ambivolent to things, when I used to be the opposite. Nothing really seems to be a big deal to me anymore. I find myself trying to push people who care away and make them not really give a shit about me because I don't feel I can deal with my emotions (good or bad) anymore, so it'd be easier just to have none and just drift through life. I don't really feel like I've anything to say for myself, I just feel like life is passing me by, and I think the last couple of relationships have proper fucked with my head.

I just feel really lost, in all honesty.

[Fairy]

Heya,
You seem like a caring type of person, but maybe you should stop being a counsillor for your ex's even if you or they feel alone. It can be tempting, Ive been there but in the run long I think its better to let them alone to deal with their problems without you. It may make it easier to feel you are getting ahead in life.
My last relationship still messes with my head even though it ended some time ago. Relationships tend to end up doing that.
Maybe you should just take a step away from relationships and just focus on other areas in your life. Find new things that excite you. Just hang out with friends instead. This should make you feel less lost. I think everyone feels they are drifting at times in their life. Im sort of feeling a bit similar.

[otter]

you should stop being a counsillor for your ex's
:yes: - its emotionally draining to do that. and its most likely that which has been fucking up your head. stop playing double roles: your role never was to be a counsellor to them, but to be their bf and/or friend. take some time out to look after yourself and stop stressing over other people's problems, thats my advice.