Would you mind your GF going to a club with her mates ?

[Business]

Im not too bothered about this although it still plays inthe back of my mind when she tells me shes going out to a club with her mates, and i just worry all night ! does any 1 else get like this ?

[SuzyCreamcheese]

mr brite doesnt mind me going.
i dont mind him going either.
I trust him.

[ginner]

I worry, but only about how she's getting home.

[ruby_soho]

Nope my boyfriend doesn't mind, he usually comes along cause we tend to go in big groups. Not that i go clubbing that often with out him or anything, but when my friends are back from uni we usually go out on thursday nights, cause it's 60's night or whatever and the boyfriend gets up at 6am for work so he doesn't come out cause of his early start, but he doesn't mind me going at all, and nor would i him if he wanted to go somewhere on his own or whatever.

[Kermit]

I'd worry about her until she got back in the door, but not that she'd divorce me for some chav cunt she met in a club.

[spongebobsgirl]

i spose i may if i was a bloke, cos of worryin bout guys comin onto my girl, but i completely trust my b.f.
SBG

[*milky way*]

My boyfriend doesn't worry about me going out without him and I don't when he goes out. If there is trust it should never be a problem.

[otter]

If there is trust it should never be a problem.
:yes: agreed.

[lucifer devil]

my boyfriend doesn't worry at all, he's like have you been chatted up yet? if you have then haha unlucky them. :blush:

i don't mind him going out at all, i look forward to drunken messages and phone calls!

[satehen]

Im not too bothered about this although it still plays inthe back of my mind when she tells me shes going out to a club with her mates, and i just worry all night ! does any 1 else get like this ?


My ex was like that, he hated me going out without him, but when we were together he wanted to stay in all the time. I think in nearly 3 1/2 years we'd only been to a club together maybe 3-4 times! He'd pull a face when we did go. If i went out with my mates he'd call me up and accuse me of being with other men. Trust is very important in a relationship, without it you have nothing. Seriously, theres a reason why he's an ex!

[badassmother]

My ex was like that, he hated me going out without him, but when we were together he wanted to stay in all the time. I think in nearly 3 1/2 years we'd only been to a club together maybe 3-4 times! He'd pull a face when we did go. If i went out with my mates he'd call me up and accuse me of being with other men. Trust is very important in a relationship, without it you have nothing. Seriously, theres a reason why he's an ex!
there must be a reason why someone would be worried if the partner went out with her mates. now lets say the person does not mind and does not worry. does it mean that the person is comfortable, confident that the partner would not do anything? or does it mean that the person does not give that much shit about the relationship? so lets say the person is worried or jealous. does that mean that the person is uncomfortable about the relationship, unsure about the partners fidelity? or does it mean that the relationship is healthy (at least with the person) cos the jealousy implies the attraction between? but then why do your head in worrying about this shit. why dont you suprise her and go to the club? see how she reacts? maybe you discover something you dont want but better than not knowing. whatever whatever...

[Dianne1985]

why dont you suprise her and go to the club? see how she reacts?

My reaction to that would be a major strop-on! WEther a girlis upto no good or not, turning up out of the blue is sure to cause a problem. You may aswell carry a sign saying, "are you cheating on me? GOTCHA!". The only exception to this would be if i'd been trying to get my beau out and he wouldnt then he changed his mind,otherwise i would be so annoyed coz it would be unbelievably obvious what the motives were!

I think everyone has paranoia and jealousy to a point in a relationship, some people get over it with time, me and my BF did, we didnt like each other going out without the other(which happens most often now as we have our little one) but now we just use it as an opportunity to bribe each other "since you're going out can i get that top?" or my bf will want to rent a game, plus we also score a takeaway, yum! lol

[Nightbreed]

I understand how sometimes its hard to trust someone I've had a hard time with it myself, but if she's worth being with she's worth trusting, I know what I just said would be no help if she cheated but really if she's going to she will anyway regardless of how you felt

[Kermit]

there must be a reason why someone would be worried if the partner went out with her mates.

Yep, it starts with "p" and ends in "aranoia".

now lets say the person does not mind and does not worry. does it mean that the person is comfortable, confident that the partner would not do anything? or does it mean that the person does not give that much shit about the relationship?

Utter shite.

I don't care if my wife goes out on the lash with her mates, it doesn't mean I "don't care" about my marriage. Because I'm not a pathetic paranoid moron it doesn't mean I aren't attracted to her. So stop chatting shit.

If you can't trust someone you shouldn't be with them.

[Kermit]

i can see where you're coming from but to call people "pathetic paranoid morons" is a bit harsh.

i agree with what you've said in everything else, but some people have reasons for being that way (paranoid). i'm not condoning it at all. like myself, i have recognised my paranoia problem and am trying to overcome it. it doesn't make me a moron though.

I suppose I'm one of those awfully smug people who's had an awful lot of problems and got over them, but if people can't find it in themselves to trust their partner then they seriously need to consider whether a partner is what they need at that time. If you cannot trust a partner then you shouldn't be with them, whether it is because they are inherently untrustworthy or because you are paranoid.

Perhaps moron was a little bit harsh, but paranoid people are pathetic. Of course they will have their reasons- almost always without any grounding in reality- but that doesn't prevent them from being pathetic.

[satehen]

there must be a reason why someone would be worried if the partner went out with her mates. now lets say the person does not mind and does not worry. does it mean that the person is comfortable, confident that the partner would not do anything? or does it mean that the person does not give that much shit about the relationship? so lets say the person is worried or jealous. does that mean that the person is uncomfortable about the relationship, unsure about the partners fidelity? or does it mean that the relationship is healthy (at least with the person) cos the jealousy implies the attraction between? but then why do your head in worrying about this shit. why dont you suprise her and go to the club? see how she reacts? maybe you discover something you dont want but better than not knowing. whatever whatever...


My current bloke doesn't mind because he trusts me, my ex never trusted me. Its a shame really because i've never been anything but faithfull. It was however because my ex was such a bastard to me that i left him for another man. Though i didn't actually pursue a relationship with the other man untill i'd left my ex. Jelousy doesn't mean love, it means paranoia, a lack of trust and possession over somebody. My ex dominated me for years, i felt like i was his posession. Thats not love.

[ginner]

Read me (http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0716740044/ref=sib_rdr_ex/102-2120281-0364117?%5Fencoding=UTF8&p=S00C#reader-page)

Good book.

[Halloween]

Im not too bothered about this although it still plays inthe back of my mind when she tells me shes going out to a club with her mates, and i just worry all night ! does any 1 else get like this ?

Colin? Is that you?

My fella gets on like this. Drives me absolutley bonkers. Bit of an age gap and he seems to think Im out to spread the seed when I go out. And if i wear a skirt, it's cause I'm wanting willy. :impissed:

Bollocks in my opinion and it completely undermines my respect for him when he gets on like this. There was life before she met you, so let her go out and have fun. If there's no trust then why are you together?

[Kermit]

Read me (http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0716740044/ref=sib_rdr_ex/102-2120281-0364117?%5Fencoding=UTF8&p=S00C#reader-page)

Good book.

Interesting read, but utter bollocks though.

[littlemissy]

If you can't trust someone you shouldn't be with them.

To me, this is the key to the whole "debate". You should be able to trust your partner (this works for both male and female here) to go out, to a club with her mates and NOT pull someone else. If you are worried that they are going to do this then your relationship has some serious problems.

The only worry I would feel about my partner going out, on the lash with his mates, is worry about how they will get home and that something hasn't happened (like someone has beaten him up). NOT that he has found some really attractive girl and has pulled her and is currently on his way to her house. The reason I don't worry about this happening is because I trust him. BTW, after discussing this with him earlier, he would only worry about the same thing. NOT that I had had gone off with some guy for a cheap, quick shag or smooch.

The insinuation that girls who go to clubs are sluts is a cheap, nasty insult and certainly not true. Yes, you will probably find that a percentage of girls who go out ARE just looking for one thing but I think it is wrong to tarnish all girls with the same brush. Maybe you have had bad experiences in clubs with girls, I don't know. But it certainly isn't fair to brandish the term "slut" to all those who go to a club, dressed in a short skirt and sexy top.

[mattmoo]

with all the trust int he world i know far too many girls that go out and have boyfriends and still get off with people etc.
Hence the lack of trust but i think in all honesty id be forced to trust them with it because there's no way id stop anyone doing something they liked doing especially as im such a social addict anyways.
Just have to trust them and if they break the trust then kill them.

or you can do what i do whichj is make sure you have friends in most places that way if they do anything someone will tell ya hehe

[malteser monkay]

I would hope the bloke wouldn't get shirty about me going out with me buds clubbing - I mainly go in mixed boys and girls groups as well, which I think effects it slightly because a group of girls are gonna be more eye catching to a group of blokeys out on the pull. The only reason my bloke kicks up dust is the thoughts of other blokes trying it on with me but he's seen me and my brushing them off action so he's cooled down a lot. He had a lot of gf's who blatently went out and got it on with others. But I just feel that we're strong enough together to be able to go out with our mates and not breech the whole...point of our relationhip by hooking up ith strangers.

malt x :)

[Kermit]

with all the trust int he world i know far too many girls that go out and have boyfriends and still get off with people etc.

And, of course, men never ever do this.

Of course, if you have the opinion that your girl is "just like all the otehrs" then you may as well give up on the relationship now.