is getting back with an ex a good idea?!

[Bunnie]

:heart: I have been speaking to my ex a lot lately, and we slept together not too long ago. he has suggested getting back together, but i have never told him how i still feel about him, and i change the subject whenever he has suggested it. i get the funniest feeling in my tummy, when i think about him and i would love for us to get back together. but recently he aint mentioned anything, and seems to have gone a bit funny with me. i just dont know what to do. i dont want to ask him to give it another try, because trust is a big issue, but mainly i dont wana be knocked back. i cant ask my mates bout this coz they all have such strong opinions on him, as he treated me badly in the past. what should i do? :heart:
xxxxxxx

[malteser monkay]

Hullo :)

Hmm, this all depends. In my experience, it's gone both ways. For example, I split with my previous bf and got back together again a few weeks later and we had a good few solid months...before it all went to pot again! And with my ex before that, we split, got back together a few months later and it was 6 months of hell, the relationship before had been gentle, sweet and unprogressive, and the 6 months following the break was full of heartache and abuse.

You have to consider what getting back together is going to lead to. My previous bf was a gentle, good person. We broke up initially because he was going through a particular time where he felt he didn't have enough time for a relationship and it was hurting suddenly not seeing him. The ex before him - we split because it was going no-where and we weren't getting on, and then he became violent 2nd time round.

If your relationship split up because he treated you badly in the past...what's different now? What's going to stop him treating you like shit again? If you really want to get back with him, then discuss what was wrong previously, and that you're not gonna be treated like it again.

He may have stopped bringing it up, because he's been pushed back about it, as you've changed the subject - this makes you seem unkeen. Tell him you are keen, tell him you need to speak about why you split in the first place though. Don't get back into something that'll just turn out the same, don't tolerate being treated badly because no blokes worth that.

Malt xxx :)

[Bunnie]

Thanks Malt. I hope he can change, he wasnt exactly abusive, and i dont think he would ever hurt me again. he apologised so much, and seemed truly sorry. fingers crossed tho eh?!
Thanks again hun
xxx

[malteser monkay]

Thanks Malt. I hope he can change, he wasnt exactly abusive, and i dont think he would ever hurt me again. he apologised so much, and seemed truly sorry. fingers crossed tho eh?!
Thanks again hun
xxx

That's ok, I do hope it works out - got a bit heavy then didn't I :blush: . Hope it works out, :thumb:

Good Luck!

Malt xx :)

[Kazbo]

Well you sound to be in exactly the same situation as me. I asked him and am still waiting for an answer...think I know it's a no though after this length of time, but we will continue to be good friends. You've got to decide which is more important, friendship or a relationship, because tbh things do rarely change when you get back together in my experience. Me and my ex split though for basically no reason at all, just both needed some space really so getting back together wouldn't be too bad for us. But if there's been a lot of problems between you I wouldn't really consider it if I were you.

[lexijb]

I always see it as if you broke up for a reason, that reason is likely to still be there.
also arguments normally get referenced bk 2 previous relationship or stuff that happened inbetween 2 relationships...if dat makes sense
I dont ever think its a good idea to get back with ex's altho i wish i cud take my own advice, cos always seem 2 try do it, or actually do it.
not really much help sorry

[twisted_trinity]

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!

if you value yourself....DON'T DO IT...

sorry....just my ex hurt me so damn much when we got back together...

don't do it.

[Bunnie]

Thanks very much, your messages have made me look at it properly, rather than through my obvious rose tinted glasses! still confused, but having your opinions means a lot, and maybe its for the best if i leave things (for now anyway!) thanks again
Bunny
:heart: xxx :heart:

[themouth]

how long have u been split up from him?

i think that has a lot to do with it, as u might find that u have both changed!
ps good look :wave:

[Bunnie]

well it has been about a year, cant believe it has been so long, but i am away at uni, and dont see him too much, but ill be home soon, so thats not a prob. id like to say i aint changed, but u dont ever notice it in urself!
i need to speak to him, and he knows i miss him, and he said he misses me, and didnt want me to come bk to uni, but he dont show his emotion very well. he is a very 'manly man' as in yeah im all big and hard! its not easy lol! i think it has a lot to do with the army and the way they make you. but then i dont know...look at me rambling!! sorry, ill shut up now!
Thank you all
Take care

[Nightbreed]

try not to build things up in your head about how it could be if you get back together especially if your at uni and not near him, its easy to make a world in your head where things happen a certain way, it would be painfull if you got worked up for seeing hi when you get back and things have changed when you return, Time changes everything, which is something I'm having to come to terms with myself