Self confidence

[becky4131]

hey, not sure if this is in the right topic but wasnt sure where to put it.
Im not very confident in myself and i am always pulling myself down because i dnt feel attractive, whenever i see guys i get shy and act like im not interested because i never think thta anyone is going to look twice at me. I dnt like to stand out and find it easier to blend into the crowd. I never do have much luck with guys because of this but i dnt know how to combat it, i have tried to be more confident and act interested but i cant for some reason-i just end up seeming too pushy and obbsessive with tht person by txting and ringing them alot cause im too shy to speak 2 them in person.

Any1 got any tips on how i can build up my confidence?

[Iconic]

It's something that plagues many a person, myself included...

I'm afraid there isn't all that much you can do, you just need to have self belief. Try and calm yourself down, and be yourself. Don't worry about what others think, just concentrate in showing the real you. Be polite with people, don't expect you have to impress them and just have fun. Goodluck hun x

[lizzie_amy]

hia. Its not unusual to be inconfident, i know many people who are unsure about something about themselves. I've been through a similar situation and have battled with many issues in response to it.

I find that, i know its easier said than done, when i realise most people actually dont really mind what you are like or how you look i feel a lot better about myself. Try doing some 'people watching' and see what it is about other people that you percieve as confident? or look at some one and realise that there should be no reason why they are 'better' than you.

when it comes to guys, i'm a bit of the opposite. I want to be liked so i'm scared to act totally myself and also end up coming across as either too 'pushy' or fall into the You will hear it a lot but relaxing and just being yourself is the only way to work towards being more confident - its not instant, but if you take it in small steps then it should have some sort of effect. alternatively, try signing up for the free e-mail tutorials on This self confidence site (http://www.self-confidence.co.uk)

[evansmp]

Im exactly like you becky4131 except im a guy. I have 0 Confidence, something i need to work on alot.

[*bexfizz*]

I'm exactly the same! Didnt have any luck with guys at all until a few months ago when i met my boyfriend. He hates the fact that i'm so negative about myself to a point where he gets upset and frustrated about it. But he thinks that its something that will just disappear in a day!

I used to be a lot worse. I wouldnt even go out on my own because i thought people were laughing at me because i was so ugly & fat. I stopped going to college because i didnt see the point, i thought it was too stupid to be doing A Levels! But i just decided to had to change, and i have! Slowly & surely, i am! I'm still really bad, if my boyfriend tells me i'm beautiful i have a go at him & tell him he's lying! If i'm going out clubbing with my mates, i burst into tears because i think i look terrible compared to them! But i am realising it doesnt matter what other people think, you should just be positive & happy about who you are. Focus on your good points rather than bad points & try to take compliments when you get them! Slowly & surely you'll get there!

[becky4131]

Thankyou every1for all the help, im going to take all of your advice on board and try to except more compliments and take small steps to help build my confidence. Its going to be hard but im sure if i stop worrying about what other people think then tht will help.

[BarmyArmy]

For what it's worth, I can fully understand your problem, I have very little confidence in myself and it's restricted me so much, to the point where to this day I've never had a girlfriend/had sex/kissed anyone and I'm not far off being 21.

From a personal P.O.V, it's improved ever so slightly because I've lost 3 stone since January (I was really overweight which didn't help) and not well equiped if you know what I mean. I've also had a target to aim for, my best friend. I've fallen for my best friend and it got to the point where everything reminded me of her, every Toyota Yaris (what she drives) and they were EVERWHERE! etc etc, so I'm trying everything in my power to win her. I WAS too scared to tell her how I feel until one Saturday night when Budweiser got the better of me.

Not sure of my point really but I'm positive it will get better for you and I hope you're feeling happier soon.

[becky4131]

Thankyou so much, you seem to be doing well and i wish you all the luck in the world with your friend. Dont worry bout ur age and inexperiance because frm a girls point of view i think tht it is nice and just think of it as saving ur self for the right person-thts what i do anyway. Keep me informed on howit goes!

[BarmyArmy]

Thanks, I really appreciate that.

[sweetiepie2121]

im excatly like you i tunn away from guys i understand fully, nowadays u can go to a confidence building group that should help u

[Nightbreed]

I know how you feel, but believe me in some ways being so shy you dont be with someone can be better then being with someone but having so little confidence you look for someone to want you even when you have one, I've made so very bad choices to the point that even thinking about it is making me cry, not very matcho I know but its the truth

[Franki]

I have a lack of self-confidence issue also. However, very few people notice. I was told by someone the other day that there are little things about me that make it so you can tell, but few people notice them.

My cousin told me once "pretend to be confident, it works" and it does. Just takes a LOT of practice. I've almost got it now, and people sometimes say to me "you can't have low self-esteem, you seem so confident!" etc. It may sound like a weird thing to do, but try it. It will take a while though...