Age difference.

[Captain]

So. I like this guy.
He is 20, I'm soon to be 17 in a matter of days. Do you guys/girls find this too be too old?

Meh, I'd just like your opinions on it. Thankyou.

[Sparklie]

I went out with a 23 year old when I was 18
I went out with a 22 year old when I was 17
Personally I don't see the age gap as a problem.
It just depends on the individual person's personalities and if they match up and want the same things out of a relationship. For example a 20 year old can often want a more serious relationship than a 17 year old who just wants to have a bit of fun (excuse this sweeping judgement).

[satehen]

3 years difference and your worried he's too old?! I've been out with guys 10 years older and never given it a second thought. If you like him go for it.

[Captain]

Yeah, thanks you guys.
I do like him. However, I dunno if he likes me. [That's got fuck all to do with it though, so ignore]

I'm just not sureee, like some of my friends say its fine, while others are like "He's too old".

[joshmeister]

3 years difference and your worried he's too old?! I've been out with guys 10 years older and never given it a second thought. If you like him go for it.

Aye i know what u mean (i dont have no GF) but my mum was joking around with her friend and was saying her daughter could go out with me (16) and she was like 9 so i thought 'yeew' as you do. then i thought about it when im 40 she will be like 34.

[Captain]

Yeah, well it's different when you put it like that...

[kate2419]

my ex is 26 and Im 20, we were together nearly 5 years since i was 15 and him 22, so i dont see your age difference as a problem. As already said though depends on personality, he is a big kid so never even thought about the difference (although m mother did!) if you like the guy, give it a go,

[chaos_insomniac]

I went out with a 26 year old when I was 17. I don't agree with agiesm.

[Makoto]

So. I like this guy.
He is 20, I'm soon to be 17 in a matter of days. Do you guys/girls find this too be too old?

Meh, I'd just like your opinions on it. Thankyou.

Not really, my mate got with his missus when she was 17, he was then 22.

[Irnbru]

I really dont think that age matters to be honest, its more about the 2 people involved. If you get on well enough and both people are mature enough for the relationship then its all good.

My girlfriend is 15 and im 18, however its not something that affects our relationship in any way. We get on so well with each other and were both of pretty much equal maturity so it works well for us.

Ive went out with 18 year old girls who werent as mature as her, so its more about the person than there age.

[Cuddilicious]

Don't personally see a problem with it. If yas like each other. Go for it.
I've when out with a guy that was nearly 10 years older than me last year. I'm 19 he was 28, nearly 29.

[ruby_soho]

Age is only a problem if you let it be.

Within reason of course, for example if a 22 year old was with a 15 year old i would really wonder what for.

[dizzzy]

I don't have a problem with age differences. Don't worry about what others say

My bf is 14 years older, though doesn't often act it!

[mystifymysoul]

Yeh, just accept eachother for who you are. Regardless of age...3/4 years really isn't a major difference tbh. It may seem big when you are younger, but say if you were 30 and 34, it really wouldn't matter..just put it into perspective..:)

[Iconic]

Age differences can differ...It's a complicated thing to deal with..imagine a 17 year old and a 24 year old togethor...seemingly harmless...now take two years off each person..so 15 and 22..that's a bit odd, right?

It depends on the age of the two people involved...But 17 and 20 sounds ok

[Scarlet]

I'm 18. My boyfriend is 21. There's no problem.

[Ballerina]

i went out with an 18 yr old when i was 14 - it wasnt a problem for either of us.

[g_angel]

18 and 21 is only three years, and you're both consenting adults... Not a big deal.

This has been done to death. It's all relative.

Surprisingly enough, people who are 16/17 with a 24 year old boyfriend (or whatever) *don't* see that age gap as a problem... Shock-horror! How could they, if they're in that situation already?!

Personally, being 25, there's no way i'd be with somebody under the age of 20... To be honest, somewhere around 23 is about the youngest i'd go.

I do feel that the mental gap in personalities is too wide for myself to be with somebody more than a couple of years younger. I tend to go for older women myself... and the older you both get, the less of an issue it becomes.

Several of you have mentioned about the 15 and 22 age gap - which is exactly what katyxxxx was in. I personally agree and feel that there is something fundamentally wrong with somebody of 22 being interested in a 15 year old, regardless how "mature" the 15 year old feels themself to be, or how much of a big kid the older party could be, and i'm not surprised the mother had an issue with it!

I also feel that 17 and 22 is unacceptable, coming from the angle of having been both ages and knowing the difference, mentally. 17 is still a child in the eyes of the law, and also in my eyes. Why an adult would want to be with a child, most likely still at school, is beyond me.

Also - if my daughter came home at the age of 14, having an 18 year old boyfriend, i'd be having words with him about his mindset and be advising him against certain actions etc. and even advising him to choose somebody else to aim his affections at. 14 and 18, to me, is wrong. Very wrong. Chances are the 18 year old will be sexually active already, and will be wanting the 14 year old to, well, join in, for want of a better term. To me, that's completely unacceptable and I will have no problems in making my feelings known.

G.

P.S. Kaffrin usually has something good to say on this subject.

[dizzzy]

I think as long as both are over 16 its up to them. They're both legal and old enough to make their own decisions

[g_angel]

That doesn't change the fact that one is an adult and one is a child... or the fact that I think that at 16, anything over 19 is too old.

Also - if one is 16, and the other is older than 20, the chances are the older one will have some form of influence over the younger one. Not as in a forceful influence, but as in the younger one will most likely be doing their level best to act older, and be accepted by the older party, and so get into things they're not ready for - which, in the harshest of light, plays right into the hands of the older party as they get what they want.

[Ballerina]

[/QUOTE] Also - if my daughter came home at the age of 14, having an 18 year old boyfriend, i'd be having words with him about his mindset and be advising him against certain actions etc. and even advising him to choose somebody else to aim his affections at. 14 and 18, to me, is wrong. Very wrong. Chances are the 18 year old will be sexually active already, and will be wanting the 14 year old to, well, join in, for want of a better term. To me, that's completely unacceptable and I will have no problems in making my feelings known.

G.

P.S. Kaffrin usually has something good to say on this subject.[/QUOTE]

Well he was a virgin and so was i and we never slept together - it wasnt about sex at all. We didnt even come close.

[Captain]

Thankyou, guys.
You all have some good points. Keep them coming, if you wish. Thanks.

[BeckyBoo]

i went out with an 18 yr old when i was 14 - it wasnt a problem for either of us.

He should never have started seeing you when you were aged 14 imho. You were a child, he was an adult, sorry but I think he was in the wrong and should have gone out with someone nearer his own age.

I cannot see what an 18 yr old would see in a 14 yr old tbh. Obviously as people get older I dont have a problem with age gaps but when we are talking about young teenagers then its a different kettle of fish.

[Olive]

P.S. Kaffrin usually has something good to say on this subject.

heh, am i really that predictable. :p

it's just that the same thing always happens in these threads. the people who are in relationships with big gaps (and who are almost always the younger party) think it's cool, and the other people are a bit weirded out.

although i do think 17 and 20 is fairly acceptable, depending on the people.

age is not just a number, and suggesting otherwise is not ageism. don't be ridiculous. if age was just a number, then i guess you'd all be fine with a 25 year old seeing a 12 year old? No, of course you wouldn't, cause age is not just a number. age is a lot of things.

i know when you're the younger one you think it's quite cool to have gone out with an older person. one of my school friends lost her virginity at 15 to a 35 year old trucker, and because of that she was the coolest girl in school. but just imagine the reaction the trucker would have had when he told his mates he'd got lucky with a child. my male mates are only in their twenties and i'd shit a brick if one of them got it on with a 15 year old.

anyway, age differences have no hard and fast rules, and should be judged on their individual merits. within reason. the original poster seemed an ok difference. some of the rest of you nearly made me have kittens.

[Ballerina]

He should never have started seeing you when you were aged 14 imho. You were a child, he was an adult, sorry but I think he was in the wrong and should have gone out with someone nearer his own age.

I cannot see what an 18 yr old would see in a 14 yr old tbh. Obviously as people get older I dont have a problem with age gaps but when we are talking about young teenagers then its a different kettle of fish.


Everyone freaks out when i tell them, but it seriously wasnt like that. I dont think you can really understand unless youve been there and it actually meant something.
Its another society double standard - its ok for adults to have like 10+ year gaps but if its teenagers, people freak out at anything more than a 3 year age gap.
As long as theyre careful and its not just for sex - i dont see why not if it makes them happy. Just my opinion.

[kate2419]

been thinking about this a fair bit today, (well ok i think about nothing but our relationship since we broke up) and have come to the conclusion, that our age difference indirectly links to every single thing that has ever annoyed me about him and all the reason he had for finishing it.

And also, the point has been made about any older guy been interested in a kid cant be normal, thats very true, what the hell made him want anything to do with me in the first place??!

to the originally poster, I still think the age dif between you and your bf is fine, mine was 6 years at 15, which, looking at it now, was just wrong!! if my son brought home a 15 yr old child at 21, Id kill him!!

[JellyBabe123]

I 16 and my boyfriend is 19! its litterally 3 years nd 10 days apart! so not a big deal, iv neva even htought about it before :chin:

now im off to think.......

:wave:

[Halloween]

I met the wife when I was 17. He was 23. He's an immature twig for his age and I'm quite intelligent and mature. ( :razz: ) I didn't go out with him because it was the "cool" thing to do, I was attracted to him and vice versa.

Within reason....age shouldn't really be a problem, however if we're talking a 15 year old going out with a 25 year old etc then hell yes, I'd lock my daughter in her closet until her vagina closed up.

[Kasensela]

I believe this is okay. Scientifically, it is the best as the level of thinking is the same. Girls mentally grow faster than boys by about a year and you are best suited. Hope it will last
Cheers.

[Irnbru]

I think certain people can suit someone who may seem a bit too young for them, im saying this from experience. My girlfriend is 3 years younger thane me (she is 15 and im 18) but we totally suit each other and there has never been any sort of problem due to the age gap.

To be honest i dont think at 15 i was ready for sex however i was rather nieve back then and i think only when i became 18 and met her that i was ready to take things further. We were both at the same stage in our lives and took things slowly as we were both new to it all.

So i think in that regard our age gap is really not an issue as she is much more mature at 15 than i was even last year. People may still see the gap as being bad and that i must somehow be sick for going out with a "minor" however things are never that simple.

Certain people just mature at different times, i wasnt ready for a relationship or sex till very recently, the same goes for her. We discussed it all and didnt do anything till we both felt ready. People are having sex alot younger these days, atleast we were safe about it all and in a loving relationship.

[Mist]

Its another society double standard - its ok for adults to have like 10+ year gaps but if its teenagers, people freak out at anything more than a 3 year age gap.


Yeah, there's a reason for that. It's because adults are already grown up.

[Lihra]

Certain people just mature at different times, i wasnt ready for a relationship or sex till very recently, the same goes for her. We discussed it all and didnt do anything till we both felt ready. People are having sex alot younger these days, atleast we were safe about it all and in a loving relationship.

You do know you are committing a crime don't you? That you could be done for statatory rape and sent to jail.
Also 15 year old girls aren't mature, they just think they are.

[BeckyBoo]

People are having sex alot younger these days,

and that makes it ok :rolleyes:

[LuckyStrike]

lihra: very unlikely to happen tho.

and girls are having sex a lot younger than 15 these days. They may not be mature, but this is what happens. damn shame, everyones in a rush to grow up. You dont wanna know what i was up to when i was 15, and it wasnt sexing up.

[Lihra]

lihra: very unlikely to happen tho.

and girls are having sex a lot younger than 15 these days. They may not be mature, but this is what happens. damn shame, everyones in a rush to grow up. You dont wanna know what i was up to when i was 15, and it wasnt sexing up.


If her parents find out it may happen, especially if they don't particularly want a slag for a daughter.

Just because children (because that's what they are) are having sex doesn't make it right or mean we should shrug our shoulders and let them get on with it. As adults we have a responsibility to guide our children.

[BeckyBoo]

and girls are having sex a lot younger than 15 these days. They may not be mature, but this is what happens. damn shame, everyones in a rush to grow up.

I dont think anyone is doubting that girls are having sex at a much younger age, I have not got a problem with that as long as they take precautions and have sex with a similar aged partner blah blah. The problem I have is when an adult has sex with a much younger girl, I cant help the way I feel but I just think its wrong for an 18 yr old to have sex with a 14/15 yr old and I think the older party should meet someone nearer their own age.

[*raver*]

If her parents find out it may happen, especially if they don't particularly want a slag for a daughter.

Just because children (because that's what they are) are having sex doesn't make it right or mean we should shrug our shoulders and let them get on with it. As adults we have a responsibility to guide our children.

She's hardly a slag for sleeping with her partner at 15. Waiting a few months for her to turn 16 wouldn't change anything between them. Its when the gap gets slightly bigger and one of the couple can influence the other to do things before they are ready that it becomes a problem.

[Kazbo]

lihra: very unlikely to happen tho.

and girls are having sex a lot younger than 15 these days. They may not be mature, but this is what happens. damn shame, everyones in a rush to grow up. You dont wanna know what i was up to when i was 15, and it wasnt sexing up.

Spoken like a true Burnley lad there ;)

As for the age difference, I don't see anything wrong in that, as long as you both respect the differences in opinions and maturity there will be between you. But as long as he makes you happy for the time being go for it, what harm can come?

[Ballerina]

i'm in no rush to jump into bed with the first guy that comes along - i'm saving myself for the right person.....but because i'm 15 - does that make me immature???

[Kazbo]

I think although you might feel you're mature yaself, when you're older and you think back you'll find that you really weren't at all. Know I certainly did. Even if I think back to when I was 20 compared to now I still think shit how was I so immature about certain things.

[Carolina]

I think although you might feel you're mature yaself, when you're older and you think back you'll find that you really weren't at all. Know I certainly did. Even if I think back to when I was 20 compared to now I still think shit how was I so immature about certain things.

Amen to that :lol: That's exactly how i do look back on things :) I was a pretty grounded teenager and pretty serious but sometimes i think oh dear why on earth did i think that was mature.

Still do it sometimes now.

But to go back to the age gap thing. I don't think that a gap of 3 years for two people who are both over 16 is a problem. I think when it starts getting towards a 14 yr old and an 18 yr old then problems will arise.

But saying this i can't put down anyone over an age gap. My ex was 40 and i was 23. *shrugs* many people couldn't accept it, were very hurtful but a lot of people realised that we were two peas in a pod and left us to get on with it. He didn't look anywhere near 40 to me, was a mature adult who's conversation, humour and personality i enjoyed.

[nicebutdim23]

Amen to that :lol: That's exactly how i do look back on things :) I was a pretty grounded teenager and pretty serious but sometimes i think oh dear why on earth did i think that was mature.

Still do it sometimes now.

But to go back to the age gap thing. I don't think that a gap of 3 years for two people who are both over 16 is a problem. I think when it starts getting towards a 14 yr old and an 18 yr old then problems will arise.

But saying this i can't put down anyone over an age gap. My ex was 40 and i was 23. *shrugs* many people couldn't accept it, were very hurtful but a lot of people realised that we were two peas in a pod and left us to get on with it. He didn't look anywhere near 40 to me, was a mature adult who's conversation, humour and personality i enjoyed.

thats the difference between two people who are adults and two people who are children, or one thats an adult and one who isn't.

personally, the changes that happened to me between the age of 14 and 18 would be enough to make me wonder why an 18 y.o would want to bother with a 14 y.o. but thats just me. i'm not saying all 14 y.o are immature - some of them are quite mature, but there is a difference between being mature for your age and actually being grown up.