I Push People Away...

[*bexfizz*]

Ever since i was bullied when i was 10/11, i've found it really hard to become close to people. I dont know what it is but i've done it with every single person i've cared about since.
Thing is, i'm doing it to my boyfriend now & i really dont want to. I seem to go in the strangest moods with him over the stupidest things. Last night, i nearly lost him because of it. He got really upset & said he couldnt handle it anymore. I wish i didnt have these moods and i try so hard not to, i just dont want to lose him because i feel so lucky to have someone like him.
I dont know what to do now when i have these moods, i dont want to keep arguing with him over them. I dont want to be scared i'lll lose him everytime they happen. :(

[faerielights]

I do the same thing. Have you talked to him about it? We discussed it and I explained as much as I could, which admittedly wasnt much! But we decided that when i was in one of those moods i'd try and explain what had set me off that time. It seems to work, and my moods arent happening anywhere near as often.
That wasnt a very good explanation. PM me if you dont folow!

[~kaz~]

I know how your feeling and I do the exact same. I was bullied when I was at school and ever since I have found it hard to open up to people. My boyfriend is forever moaning at me saying that I never tell him things and I do my best to explain to him why. I always feel if I tell people things such as my problems or whatever then they might judge me. Anyway best thing you can do is explain to your boyfriend and try and make him understand.

[sweet_gal]

I think the best thing that you can do is remember that your bf cares about you and hes different to the people that used to bully you so you shouldnt really feel the need to push him away becasue of your past experiances.
If things are really bad then i think that yous should speak to some one about it to make you feel more confident in yourself so you overcome the past. I have a friend who was in a similar situation she couldnt get close to her man becasue of the past and this ruined their relationship and she feels she cant trust anyone but herself.
Also talk to your bf tell him why you be in a mood and hopefully he should understand and not leave you over it!

[otter]

Ever since i was bullied when i was 10/11, i've found it really hard to become close to people. I dont know what it is but i've done it with every single person i've cared about since.
Thing is, i'm doing it to my boyfriend now & i really dont want to. I seem to go in the strangest moods with him over the stupidest things. Last night, i nearly lost him because of it. He got really upset & said he couldnt handle it anymore. I wish i didnt have these moods and i try so hard not to, i just dont want to lose him because i feel so lucky to have someone like him.
I dont know what to do now when i have these moods, i dont want to keep arguing with him over them. I dont want to be scared i'lll lose him everytime they happen. :(
i know what you mean. i prevent myself from really getting close to anyone and tend to withdraw a lot. but i think the best thing you can do is try to talk to your boyfriend about how you feel and about your past experiences. also, may be the two of you could benefit from some relationship counselling or something similar? do you know what ususally triggers your change of mood ¬ the "stupidest things" - becasue if you can identify what it is, may be you could work on changing it?!

[*bexfizz*]

Glad i'm not alone in the things i do! I've always pushed people i've cared about away! I've always found it good in some ways because its made me realise who are my real friends and who arent because those real friends actually stay around & begin to understand whats up!
My best friends who i've now known for 8/9 years knew that when i was like that just to keep away from me, and let me have my space.

Usually i tend to go in moods when i feel let down! Like on Sunday night, my boyfriend had been playing in a cricket match all day & because it was such a nice night i was planning that we could go to a pub and have a drink outside. But he walked in and told me he was going out to get drunk with some of his cricket friends after he'd eaten the dinner I'd made for him!

It was so strange though because i seriously didnt mind as i want him to have his own social life without me at times but i still went in a big mood with him. :confused: