help

[erinleigh]

I want to kill myself. I don't know what i've been doing all my life. I just keep hurting myself over and over again. I never give myself a chance. I still want to punish my parents for the mistakes they made. But i am only punishing myself. They don't give a damn. No one in this stupid world does. I hurt myself over and over again because i am too proud to admit i am defeated. I have been doing this to myself for years and taken the wrong path, so now it is extremely difficult to turn things around and be a totally different person. I let people hurt me and stop me from doing the things i wanted. I am desperate for help. Please is there someone out there?

[JsT]

Try reading through the Depression and self harm thread which is stuck to the top of this forum, its full of useful contacts and experiences.

[stargalaxy]

Other than what JsT has said, I'll simply say well done for writing down your problems. It may seem like a waste of time, but it's the first stage in getting better. I have some idea how you feel - I've felt suicidal for a long time, some days are worse than others. I'm on the road to recovery at the moment.

You talk of punishing your parents for what they've done to you. Now, you don't need to go into detail about it here, but maybe counselling could be of help. Also, if you're really in despair, contact the Samaritans on (08457) 909090 (they were certainly there when I needed them) or go to www.samaritans.org and e-mail them from there.

That'll be a starting point. Maybe also see your GP, say you're feeling extremely down, (or however you want to put it) a course of anti-depressants and counselling will help. There are things you'll have to do for yourself, but we'll be here for you if you need assistance. :)

[erinleigh]

Thanks for the good advice. I really feel i'd like to talk to some people now online. I've already been to numerous gps and counsellors, but always came back feeling worse. I'd like to talk some things thru with you guys on the discussion board, if that's ok.

[stargalaxy]

Thanks for the good advice. I really feel i'd like to talk to some people now online. I've already been to numerous gps and counsellors, but always came back feeling worse. I'd like to talk some things thru with you guys on the discussion board, if that's ok. If you want, I'll talk to you in private. To send a PM, just click a username and then click "send private message" from the pop-down menu.

[JsT]

Talking and getting things off your chest is always a good way to help yourself. You can post on here anytime, you'll normally find people around to listen and to help you out.

[erinleigh]

That's ok. I don't really mind that i'm not posting in private.. after all i could be anyone. I'm glad I discovered this site. I spent a lot of time mindlessly searching on the internet for answers.. It really seems like people are serious about helping each other here.

[morrocan roll]

That's ok. I don't really mind that i'm not posting in private.. after all i could be anyone. I'm glad I discovered this site. I spent a lot of time mindlessly searching on the internet for answers.. It really seems like people are serious about helping each other here.
always remember ...while your seeking help publicly in here ...your actualy helping other people to understand things ...it's a two way street.
hope this place gives you something positive.

[erinleigh]

I'm a total failure. I don't think there is anyone out there who could possibly understand what i've been doing to myself.

[erinleigh]

I understand it's a two way street. That actually makes me feel better about talking about my probs.

[stargalaxy]

I'm a total failure. I don't think there is anyone out there who could possibly understand what i've been doing to myself. You know, I often feel like I'm a complete failure as well. If you don't think we'll understand, try us anyway! You never know in this place, it still springs up surprises for me. ;) :)

[morrocan roll]

I understand it's a two way street. That actually makes me feel better about talking about my probs.
in fact i think you'll find a bloody multi laned highway here nliegh!
there are many people here who have wanted out ...who have self harmed ...who have lousy parents ...your not alone as i'm sure you will discover ...

[erinleigh]

Thanks. It's really hard to talk about things that I feel others would laugh at me for. I have always felt like i don't have the right to talk about things that most people talk about with friends etc on a daily basis. I've always felt like i had to hide myself and put on a facade. (as if i were unimportant and everything i say is of no consequence).

[morrocan roll]

Thanks. It's really hard to talk about things that I feel others would laugh at me for. I have always felt like i don't have the right to talk about things that most people talk about with friends etc on a daily basis. I've always felt like i had to hide myself and put on a facade. (as if i were unimportant and everything i say is of no consequence).
not in here you aint!
as in the big wide world beyond this internet thingy ...there will be good advice and not so good.
stick with us.
can i ask ...male or female ...how old/young?

[erinleigh]

F, 23

[morrocan roll]

F, 23
a whole life ahead of you yet then ...does that seem daunting?

[erinleigh]

yes. can i ask about u?

[erinleigh]

Sorry it took so long to reply. I didn't realise your msg had gone onto another page.

[morrocan roll]

Sorry it took so long to reply. I didn't realise your msg had gone onto another page.
not a clue what msg is ...monosodiumglutamate?
the site goes a bit strange at this time as it updates itself ...i have just made yet another thread about it in anything goes called sack him!

me?
i'm the site pensioner ...ex crook ex addict with a lot of life experience.
i'm off to my bed shortly ...i have a poorly daughter to look after and have been waiting for her to fall asleep.
the younger ones in here are a mine of information AND experience that i'm sure you will get strength from.
it aint magic but i have seen people such as yourself make great strides forward when they realise there are many many people in the same boat.
physical sexual abuse ...alcoholism addiction neglect etc etc...coming from the parents ...
i think you will be pleasantly surprised and glad you found this place.
thinking of you.

[erinleigh]

You don't look like a pensioner (if that photo is you) :)
How can I get help when no one has the time to talk to me?
Thanks for ur time anyway.

[morrocan roll]

You don't look like a pensioner (if that photo is you) :)
How can I get help when no one has the time to talk to me?
Thanks for ur time anyway.
are you in the uk ...it's two in the morning ...place will be buzzing tommorow.

[erinleigh]

nope. I understand now. I'm in Australia and it's 1pm.

[erinleigh]

Australia doesn't have any sites like this that i know of.

[JsT]

You'll normally find people around all the time, except maybe 4-6am UK time. 4-6pm Aus?

[morrocan roll]

remember ...





http://img173.exs.cx/img173/5784/cagjyjiu2wi.jpg

goodnight me dear ...keep on keepin on.

[erinleigh]

I guess that would be about 3-5pm Australian time.

[erinleigh]

thanks :)

[spanner]

Hey erinleigh
welcome to TheSite - I'm glad you found us, too, it sounds like you really need some place where you feel able to open up.
As you've already discovered, lots of people here can offer you support and encouragement, and I hope that helps you. Take comfort in the fact that many of them can help because they have been through similar problems and have come out the other side. If they have done it, you can too - it just takes time.
I would like to give you some useful contacts, but as you are in Australia (and we are UK-based), I'm afraid I'm a bit stumped. But do check out these links for more information, and stick around.

Some links for you:

Self harm articles (http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/selfharm)

Depression articles (http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/depression)

Depressiona and self harm thread (http://vbulletin.thesite.org.uk/showthread.php?t=33791)

Take care :)

[morrocan roll]

http://img121.exs.cx/img121/3760/going2bp.gif