Long distance relationship

[spellboundSH]

My boyfriend for 2 years is moving across the country soon and he wants to stay together by talking on the phone and through e-mail, that sorta thing. I have had a long distance relationship before and it was very hard. I want to tell my boyfriend that it's not what I want but I don't want to hurt him. I do care about him alot. He is my first love. But I don't know how do let him down easy, I don't even know where to start.
Does anyone have any experience with this? Any advice?

Thanks alot everyone! :)

[Mist]

I dunno, there's no easy way to tell him that you want to break up rather than have the long distance thing though, if that is what you are after.

[Hellfire]

Its always hard splitting up.. specially when the reason is distence and neither person have done anything wrong, the only thing you can do is be honest with him, its the best way,

Be true to yourself, before your true to him, you can't be with him if you don't want it, if someone was with me even if they didnt want to be i'd hate myself..

[spellboundSH]

Thanks you guys....you're right, I just don't want to hurt him. But I guess I don't have a choice.

[Hellfire]

if you dont want to be in a long distance relationship then no.. i dont think you do :( sorry

[Luce]

IMO long-distance relationships have a slim chance of working out. I haven't been in one, but looking at the amount of friends at uni who had a gf/bf back home and then split up is proof enough. I don't think I could be in one, as you have to see/speak to someone regularly in order to stay close.
There is no easy way of letting someone down gently with this, and best to say how you feel now, instead of two months later after you've tried a long-distance relationship and it hasn't worked (which it probably won't since you've already stated that it's not what you want.) Reassure your bf that you do care about him, and want him to be happy, but this isn't likely to happen if he's miles away from you and not seeing you in person regularly.

[littlemissy]

IMO long-distance relationships have a slim chance of working out. I haven't been in one, but looking at the amount of friends at uni who had a gf/bf back home and then split up is proof enough. I don't think I could be in one, as you have to see/speak to someone regularly in order to stay close.
There is no easy way of letting someone down gently with this, and best to say how you feel now, instead of two months later after you've tried a long-distance relationship and it hasn't worked (which it probably won't since you've already stated that it's not what you want.) Reassure your bf that you do care about him, and want him to be happy, but this isn't likely to happen if he's miles away from you and not seeing you in person regularly.

A long distance relationship will only work out if both parties are willing to put in the work. If it is caused by one person going to uni then it mightn't work as one person will suddenly be away, the other becomes suspicious etc.

However, I have been in an LDR and it has worked, my mother was in one and they got married, Dave knows people who have sustained one over 2 different continents. The do work. However, they aren't for everyone.

[waking_the_fallen]

A long distance relationship will only work out if both parties are willing to put in the work.

I agree, i'm in a long distance relationship and i have been for a while! Even though we live miles away we speak to each other everyday, even if its just for a few minutes! We agree to see other once every few month because we know that one day we won't live so far apart!

[Samzi]

As above :)

Im seeing my boyfriend next w/e infact :) its been 4 months since we last saw each other. Even tho we werent together then (just very good 'friends'), but yeah

I cant wait

[Deadly Beauty]

I would say give it a shot. I've been ina long distance relationship for they best 11 months (and I was LIVING with my fiancee before that) and at first I was terrified of the idea of a long distance relationship (and I mean long distance. He is in the USA and I am in Australia) but the more time that passes the easier it is.

Why dont you sit down with your boy-friend as say to him "Why don't we give this whole long-distance thing a try for 3 months and then review. If it's not working for us, we'll call it quits"

You really dont want to be throwing away something special unless you've given it a real shot

[Ballerina]

well i've been in a long distance relationship.....200 miles apart. We made it work for 2 months by texting/talking on the phone every day, talking on msn with our webcams as often as we could, and he'd come to visit every few weeks, but in the end he decided it was too much and finished me - i was absolutly broken because there was nothing actually wrong....and it was so sudden. He said he'd been tempted to cheat and didn't wanna hurt me that way.....weather that was the truth or not i'll never know.
So speaking from experience I think you should call it a day.