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clementine_the_tangerine
17-03-2005, 02:39 PM
I'd appreciate any comments or constructive critacism =) I haven't written poetry in a while so it might be a bit poo. Reading it back now its kinda embarassing... :blush: But I dont want to give up on it, so ways to improve it are most welcome. Ty, Rach x

Recycled Liaisons

Time spent adjusting to a new embrace
Arms wrapped around hips fall into place
Black against white, the contrast of colour
Pale white skin exposed to a new lover

Tracing the outline of your shadow on the wall
Trusting you to catch me, if and when I fall
Like twin spoons our bodies encased in one another
Having pointless conversations underneath the cover

Affectionate smiles give way to romance
Life is sweet and things can only enhance
I can’t talk to you without emitting a smile
Past affairs in comparison seem so futile

We’ve began to communicate minus a voice
‘Tell me that you love me its Hobson’s choice’
The incipient adorations are rekindled again
A warped sense of trust is now ready to feign

I see you clearly now, you’re shouting at me
Eyes glazed over. Looking at me only partially
Centre of attention. Forced onto a podium
Your eyes shoot me down; a big explosion

In private we’re different I hold you at bay
It’s all just for show, please pay and display
Our relationship is entirely fabricated
We are too far gone to be emancipated

So we carry on the regime, in our own little way
We stare blankly at each other; nothing to say
Eventually one of us will have a sordid affair
But until that happens. Neither of us care

MrG
17-03-2005, 02:41 PM
I'd appreciate any comments or constructive critacism =) I haven't written poetry in a while so it might be a bit poo. Reading it back now its kinda embarassing... :blush: But I dont want to give up on it, so ways to improve it are most welcome. Ty, Rach x

Recycled Liaisons

Time spent adjusting to a new embrace
Arms wrapped around hips fall into place
Black against white, the contrast of colour
Pale white skin exposed to a new lover

Tracing the outline of your shadow on the wall
Trusting you to catch me, if and when I fall
Like twin spoons our bodies encased in one another
Having pointless conversations underneath the cover

Affectionate smiles give way to romance
Life is sweet and things can only enhance
I can’t talk to you without emitting a smile
Past affairs in comparison seem so futile

We’ve began to communicate minus a voice
‘Tell me that you love me its Hobson’s choice’
The incipient adorations are rekindled again
A warped sense of trust is now ready to feign

I see you clearly now, you’re shouting at me
Eyes glazed over. Looking at me only partially
Centre of attention. Forced onto a podium
Your eyes shoot me down; a big explosion

In private we’re different I hold you at bay
It’s all just for show, please pay and display
Our relationship is entirely fabricated
We are too far gone to be emancipated

So we carry on the regime, in our own little way
We stare blankly at each other; nothing to say
Eventually one of us will have a sordid affair
But until that happens. Neither of us care

probably best of in the entertainment section

plus have a look in here, its for everyone
http://vbulletin.thesite.org.uk/showthread.php?t=78977&page=1

clementine_the_tangerine
17-03-2005, 02:43 PM
Haha..oops.

Rach x

clementine_the_tangerine
17-03-2005, 11:08 PM
Thanks for the comments...yer gits =p

Rach x