Bah

[clementine_the_tangerine]

This is difficult to explain but I've been with someone for a month..He is off to Uni next Summer. We inevitably will have to split up. As he will be busy and have a completely different life. I dont want to become too emotionally attached to him but its difficult. Plus I find myself begrudging him his uni place which he has worked so hard for. As we dont get to hang out that often because he has work commitments and lots of studying to do. I obviously haven't told him any of this but he can probably see I go just a tad bit quiet when he mentions Uni. Feel like I'm being left behind :confused:

Rach x

[cornishangel24]

have you talked about breaking up when he does go? How far away is his uni. I mean i'm at uni in my first year and my fiance is like 7 hours away. It is hardly ideal, but we are meant to be, so it is worth it.

I would say a month is too little time to get that emotionally attached, but then it depends on the relationship. If you can see yourself getting very emotionally attached and you are planning on breaking up i would just do it now and move on. However, equally if it is meant to be it will be, but not without a little human intervention.

[clementine_the_tangerine]

He did mention having a 'long distance relationship'. Not even sure which uni he is going to yet..He went to an open day in Hertfordshire yesterday and liked the uni there. (We live in Kent).

I think its because I've had bad past experiences. So if/when we do break up I'd rather it be amiable and no-one got hurt.

Rach x

[badge1980]

i'm in your same position. i met my gf over the summer in her last year of high school. i am in grad school and she is now in her first year of college. we're 45 minutes away from each other. at times i feel as if i am being left out because she is new to the college life and is making all kinds of new friends and i am left here by myself on some occasions. but overall its not that bad because she makes sure to see me a few times a week. she realizes that we built a great relationship over the summer and does not want to lose that so it can be done. just make sure that if you decide to continue dating, he knows that you want to see him a certain amount of days per week and if he really loves you, he'll want to see you too. good luck and let us know what happens.

[*milky way*]

If you both wanted it to work out while he's at uni, it can do. I'm in my third year and last summer met my boyfriend whilst back at home, we'd been together 2months before I went back to uni and we're still together now.

[Kermit]

Why is breaking up inevitable?

[morrocan roll]

Feel like I'm being left behind :confused:

Rach x
you probably are.
it's only been a month.
your young.
the distance and the time involved will make it impossible i would have thought.
let go now ...while it's relatively easier.

[clementine_the_tangerine]

Kermit, I think it is. I've been in a 'serious' relationship. I've lived with a boyfriend for about a year and I'm only eighteen. I dont want to feel like I'm 40 again.

Morrocan, I disagree. I wont break up just to make it hurt less. For all I know I could be missing out on plenty of good times =)

Rach x

[Monserrat]

I had to do this in 1996/7 and my sister did exactly the same thing a year later. My girlfriend was pretty upset, because of not going to see each other during uni. My sister handled her boyfriend much better though and split up more mutually. We then both kept some kind of contact for the next three years or so.

[lucifer devil]

Your break up is only inevitable if you're going to make it that way. It's definatley achievable but you won't know unless you're prepared to give it a try.

[Kermit]

Kermit, I think it is.

Morrocan, I disagree. I wont break up just to make it hurt less. For all I know I could be missing out on plenty of good times =)

Rach x

Then what do you want us to say?

If you think you'll break up you will. If you aren't prepared to put the effort in then perhaps you should end it now, unless your bloke also knows that your heart won't follow him to uni.