Need advice

[melodie]

Well here goes.............. I just don't know whats wrong with me lately, me and my bf used to be all over each other and so loved up its unbelievable, but now, we barely touch, talk or do anything!! Hes quite moody and can be very childish and I am constantly doing things for him. We have been staying at his mums while my flat gets sorted and I cook for him and when I ask him to help with the washing up or anything, he just won't.... he wants to sit at his computer........... today he suggested we do something this weekend, I told him we could go out with a few mates and suddenly he's ill. Our sex life was amazing, now its non-exsistant and i'm finding it hard as I have a high sex drive, and as a typical night, he says no, I get a little stressed, come on the comp to leave him alone and he goes to sleep and the next day are distant and getting worse by the day...... I feel as though I don't love him and that he doesn't love me and is not sexually attracted to me anymore, we are meant to be getting married and now, I just don't want to........ its like its all ending.
Maybe i'm being paranoid!

(I have the implanon in, and am on anti d's, maybe this is having an effect)

[RobbieG]

Hi Meoldie,

This bit's the hardest, maybe you've gone through this before, maybe it's your first time. All I can say is maybe you both need a little bit of space, to really think about how you feel. Try and talk to a friend who you can trust and really take time to consider what you want to do.

Your 19, and you don't have to rush into anything at all. You can get married, you don't have to get married, no one should force you into something that you don't want to do.

Take some time, take some space and think about what you want to do.

Hope this helps.

Rob. :chin:

[melodie]

I did want to settle down with him, but he really acts like a kid most of the time for example.... his mums going up the shop so he runs down the stairs shouting 'sweeties' come on..... it ain't normal, he acts silly when we are about to have sex and I know sex is not important but I have a high sex drive, he doesn't and I havn't had sex for ages, we have no commuication anymore..... I find it hard to talk to friends as most don't like him........ all I would get is dump him, I grew up during the time we broke up, he stayed the same at first it was great, I could relax as in a few relationships I had to be prim and proper and it annoyed me, but the constant childish behaviour is driving me insane...... I feel like a second mum 2 him.......

[RobbieG]

Hi,

You know your own heart. I always find that my instinct on something is usually right, however that may not always work for you.

He does sound a little immature, but I don't have many dealings with teenagers/early 20 somethings.

I've found, sometimes to my own cost, that communication is everything in a relationship. If you stop talking, if can be a pretty bad sign for the future. Next time your in a restaurant at the coast, look for the elderly couple who stare into space whilst drinking tea. How bad must that be! :naughty:

As I said before, take your time, marriage is a huge commitment, don't be rushing.

Take care.

Rob. :)

[melodie]

Thank you sweetie, I think maybe this may be the end unless we communicate....

[IsoberImswear]

U just gotta grab life by the balls and get on with it!
take your own god damned advice

[Kermit]

So long as you don't start sending him death threats, I'm sure your relationship will survive.

[nicebutdim23]

was he like it when you were in your flat? maybe he is inhibited by being at his mums - when we stay with my parents i have no sex drive- worried they might hear us etc, so it could be to do with being at his mums and why he is acting like a kid??

def put the wedding off til things improve.

[melodie]

Its like he doesn't want to grow up, he talks in a childish voice, pings my bra strap and acts like an idiot........ it was funny now and again then he started doing it all the time............. Things have been o.k today, after I got off the comp last nite he woke up horny so we had sex and again this morning...... he doesn't really feel embarrased about having sex at his mums, I do..... i'll go downstairs in the morning and all I get is 'I was worried, I thought adam was hurting you last nite, but then realised what was going on and put a pillow over my head' I go red and hide behind a cushion....... maybe its because i'm the only one he has had a serious relationship with..... he wants a baby and marraige, the baby part i'm fine with but I don't think I can get married! and i'm in shock, he's cooking me lunch :D Must've read this thread or something xxx

[ginner]

He's probably stressed about something and feeling smothered by your attention and demands. I know that's my excuse sometimes.

[nicebutdim23]

i know you probably dont want to hear this...but you should probably re-think the baby thing too until u are certain that he's the one for you. it wouldnt be fair to either of you to bring another little person into this. wait until things are better....marriage isn't a must in every relationship, but to have a baby together IS a big deal and that child deserves a mum and dad that are in a stable relationship.

and before anyone flames me for picking on single mums - im not., they do a fab job mostly and my best mate is one...i just dont think they should choose to bring a baby into a relationship they arent happy in.

[ginner]

i know you probably dont want to hear this...but you should probably re-think the baby thing too until u are certain that he's the one for you. it wouldnt be fair to either of you to bring another little person into this. wait until things are better....marriage isn't a must in every relationship, but to have a baby together IS a big deal and that child deserves a mum and dad that are in a stable relationship.

and before anyone flames me for picking on single mums - im not., they do a fab job mostly and my best mate is one...i just dont think they should choose to bring a baby into a relationship they arent happy in.

My mum's a single mum and look how well I turned out! I've always figured the baby in the avatar is hers? And that this boyfriend's the daddy? How wrong am I?

[nicebutdim23]

i thought the baby was her exes?
theres a different between a child already in this world and bringing a new one into it anyway....thats what i meant, its hard enough to get a relationship to be successful without being pregnant/having a baby to look after.

a baby is a bigger comitment than marriage and she said she wasnt sure she loved him in the first post.

[melodie]

I have to agree with that...... my ex partner was keen to have a baby with me but when it came to marraige.... it was 'oh no'... but I feel that when you have a child, that is a commitment for life, marraige without children, if things go wrong, its only your feelings to consider, if you have children it can affect them in a bad way!
My ex was also violent, I stayed with him because 'I wanted a proper family', my son is the best thing thats happened to me, staying with my ex was the worst decision I made! we broke up a year ago now though..... I had enough!!