wrapped round his finger

[lexijb]

My ex, who i havent been with since before Christmas, seems to have me in a position where everything he says and does effects me. and he has total emotional control of me, whether he knows it or not.
Basically, the only advice my mates seem to have, is "to get over one bloke, get under another". which just doesnt work.
My ex, who i clearly still have feelings for, has told me hes in love with me, and (we live bout 200miles apart) if it werent for the distance we'd be together all the time. which is pretty much how i feel. but then he goes weird with me. :confused:
i gave him an ultimatum (sp) sayin, either i wait for him to sort himself out, and me to sort out driving, n we give it ago, OR, me n him just stay friends, etc, OR, thats it me n him forget each other.
Obviously, i wanna be with him, :heart: but at this moment its causing me so much :crying: i just eitha want a hundred 100% or nothing at all.
Have tried just getting overit...... any other advice?? PLEASE?

[melodie]

So why did you two break up? If he is a decent guy and you feel that he is the 'one' don't give up........ you will regret it. My current bf and I had a previous relationship years ago, we broke up and lost contact..... both of us thought of each other every day and when I saw him, I couldn't speak (to afraid), I would go weak at the knees and my heart would race! that night I would cry because I loved him so much!! I found out he did the same, even when we had partners we wished it was each other, three years later, his mum got us back together, she knew how much he loved me and wanted to know if I felt the same, I did, and now I couldn't be happier, were getting married!
I f you really love the bloke, go for it, you only ever find 1 true love!

[lauretta]

It's always really difficult to get over a relationship if half of you's still hanging on to the possibility of carrying it on, so it was definitely a good idea of you to come up with an ultimatum. What was his response?

I think to be honest though, if you've split up, it was for a reason. I know it's hard to move on which is maybe why you're clinging onto him, but if all the circumstances are against you, maybe it's a good idea to stop causing yourself so much heartache and finally let go.

As for advice on getting over it, no one can just click a magic switch in your head and make it all better. Getting over anyone takes time. But it also takes active effort - you need to tell yourself once and for all that that's it, and get out and do new things to forget about him. Have fun with your girlfriends, go out on the pull, throw yourself into your work, take up a new hobby, do all those things that you've been meaning to do for ages but never got round to, and you'll be surprised how easy it is to get by on your own. Step by step you're bound to manage it, and who knows, you may find another bloke soon who's perfect for you and doesn't live miles away!

[NothingGoldCanStay]

Baisically the same thing im going throug. Except i have a bf. But ive been talking to my boyfriends best friend recently and its like everything he says has this affect on me that makes me want him more, and hes like ive always liked you, I should have hooked up with you first , but its too late now. But its like im hanging on every word he says.. its so confusing, because i like them both so much and i cant decide .. and it makes me just want to scream because im so confused about whats going on.. grr.. :grump:

[lexijb]

We seem to be going in circles lol
I ask how he feels, he says he loves me n it wont work. i say why he has sum excuse n then says but he cant let me go cos he loves me. and i say its makin me crazy. and he says hes sorry n loves me too much u get the picture lol
Cheers 4 advice ne way!
Hop u get things sorted eventually nothinggold.... :) x

[nicebutdim23]

if you aren't going to try the long distance thing - (which can work btw) then it will probably be a good idea for the both of you to have a cooling off period - ie: no contact. its easier to get over someone if you arent speaking to them every day...staying in contact keeps you in the past...it doesnt have to be forever, but long enough for you to move forward.go out and have fun - distracting yourself and getting to know the u without him is a good way to progress.

however, long distance can work if both partners work hard at it...it is worth a try,and if he's right and it doesnt work, at least you tried and knowing is better than wondering.