i think im the only one.. little help please

[Crimson_Courage]

I think I am the only guy around that thinks like this but... I really want to wait till marriage to let things go "beneath the covers" ya know?

I know she Loves me and I seriously Love her, We have been 2gether for 5 months and a few weeks and she has hinted to me that she wont wait till marriage. It isnt just because I am a christian and truly beleive in God... but like I have this thing with my dad... I am obsessed with showing him that I am very different than him... he was always Having Sex, drugs, drinking, criminal records and all that stuff... I hated the thought of even thinking like him so I changed my way Of Life to be the exact opposite if him Till I am married. So that would mean for me to wait till I tie the knot with her to give her the wild night she wants... She said she would wait for marriage because of my decision and she respects it... but I know I am obligated to respect her decision as well... so what do I do? DO I give in to her? or do I stay the way I am? A Little help would be very much appreciated by any opinion.

~Thanx~

[Fiend_85]

You're not the only one. I know stacks of people that waited. Don't ever feel pressured into giving up your morals, someone who really cares about you, respects them.

[Foxxy_Cymru]

If its right for you to wait, then wait, dont let anyone else pressure you, you'll only regret it if you give in.

[lucifer devil]

If you want to wait, then hold out. But, imo, just because you have sex doesn't mean you're going to turn out like your Dad. Though I know where you're coming from.

[Wyetry]

Also full penetrative sex isn't the be all and end all of everything - there are lots of other things you and her can do - but really your not the only one - who wants to wait.

[Olive]

But, imo, just because you have sex doesn't mean you're going to turn out like your Dad.

this is true. remember there's a huge difference between having sex in a relationship with someone you love, even if you're not married, and doing it with every girl in town.

but if you want to wait, you wait. if she wants to be with you forever, she'll wait too.

[Decode]

You should read the Da Vinci Code and realise that sex is a sacred thing and that when you blow ya load, you see god (supposedly) Well it is a good feeling!! :D

[nicebutdim23]

it depends on your perception of christianity too. one of my uni flatmates is a christian and is waiting (he has also rushed his wedding through to this summer though too- not convinced thats wise).

he's been with his gf for 7years and although they have previously done a few things, they decided 2years ago that God wouldnt want them to so they vowed not to do anything except kiss (with time limit) and cuddle until they marry. ive met loads of his christian union mates and they are all waiting too. you definately arent the only one-i know at least 20!

if you are feeling isolated then maybe you need to find a group where you can meet and socialise with like- minded people.

if she says that she respects your decision then thats good- it's not the sort of thing someone should try and change your mind on. my personal beliefs are that you should only have the one sexual partner for life and ive found him now, but people make mistakes, hence why he is my second.
is your gf a christian? is she a virgin? and how old are you both?

[Crimson_Courage]

is your gf a christian? is she a virgin? and how old are you both?

She is not entirely Christian, she shares few beleifs. She is still a virgin as am I and we are both 17... is any of this bad nicebutdim23?

[nicebutdim23]

no just wondered - its relevent. if she is a virgin she is more likely to accept your decision imo. maybe you should both try a christian social group, when you meet a group of people with the same beliefs and values as yourselves the support helps you stay strong, if that is your decision. i asked about your age -maybe i should've asked if you were at uni. was wondering if you had access to CU.

like i said, your perception of your faith will be a factor in deciding how far you go with your girl. dont let your oppinion of your father allow you to harbour guilty feelings about sex though.

Matt - it's not just about his dad, the christian perception of sex is very different to yours, or mine.

[nicebutdim23]

I'm Christian lol :P

Sorry but I don't really understand people who think in ways like this, i'm more realistic and logical in thinking, I believe he is missing out on a great part of life, after he does it he'll probabaly wonder why he didn't have sex earlier, that's if he is still with his gf, not that she won't love him, but this is 2005 and people are not very religious in western culture, she will see what a great sexual relationship her friends are having and will definatly have trouble with it, the relationship in her eyes will most likely not feel complete.

I hope I don't burn in hell for this but i've decided to believe in my own personal beliefs (so I guess i'm not christian?) but for example, abortion, new technology has shown that the featus is a live child alot earlier on than first thought which contradicts christian teachings on abortion. I believe in the basics of a faith, not particular teachings for example sex after marrige. Tried to keep this post short, lol :)
errrm you arent a christian but you should at least respect his beliefs instead of putting them down, just coz you dont believe in it doesnt mean you should try and change his mind....u are very intolerent to other peoples opinions.there are thousand of "western people" who feel exactly the same as him.

[Crimson_Courage]

Well thanx... but the western cultur doesnt apply very much around here... lol Im in Canada! But still, I really appreciate all of your help Peoples and especially *nicebutdim* understands a lil more.

I always thought that if she would dump me because she could not wait would mean she didn't really Love me or plan on being with me for ever... its kind of my way to avoid relationships for sex only. Mind you Sex will come "pardon the pun lol" but if she can't wait for me because her friends make her want it more and more... than is it wise to put the relationship aside?

[creation]

If you want to wait, then hold out. But, imo, just because you have sex doesn't mean you're going to turn out like your Dad. Though I know where you're coming from.

i think ur rite... just bcoz u do sumthin ya dad did doesnt make u anythin like him

[Lu_C]

Hi,

I respect that you feel you should wait till marriage, but on the other hand that is what my parents did and I can honestly say that their lives would have been much better if they hadn't gone down this route.
Of course every situation is diffrent and all that but seriously my parents are now divorced, both their views on this have changed and they both feel they wasted their youths and missed out on an important part of growing up properly and finding out who they were.
Just becuase you don't wait till marriage doesn't mean you loose respect for people or yourself and it also doesn't mean you won't end upmarrying that person anyway.

:confused:

Well at the end of the day it's your distition but I really cringe at the thought that you're allowing your faith to get in teh way with this. I've seen it do more harm than good in many cases.

[Crimson_Courage]

Hmm... Well a lot of things said here do make a lot of sence. I know that if I do "do it" I wont be like my dad, I have proven to him over and over again that I am nothing Like him. As Lu C mentioned... It may do more harm than good... I guess I realize that. I do not want to face losing her, as she is everything I ever dreamt of... and if it is something that would make us stronger together... than I guess its not a very bad thing.

but through all that... Its not like we are innocent "if you cath my drift" I can still make her scream without sticking a certain thing of mine in her... I dont know if thats enough though...

[Lu_C]

Ha! Nice one. :thumb:

Basically I think yo're going to have to just think about this one until you're happy with your final disition. I'm just glad you're giving it serious thought.

[nicebutdim23]

I was christened and brought up as a Christian, I chose to follow my own personal beliefs. This is my opinion, one thing i've noticed on this forum is that if anyone criticises something someone else says then it's interpretted as an attack. I think you are being intolerent to my opinion.

i was christened and brought up one too,but i also follow my own path....i said in my first post that it depends on this persons perception of christianity which was part of the main post...in my experience if someone is a strict christian they dont do it before marriage and wont be persuaded otherwise. i personally thought it was disrespectful to his christian beleifs the way you approached the subject- thats all.
i respect your opinion-its not majorly different to mine, i dont think at the end of the day telling these people what they are missing out on is incredably respectful, thats all.its a major deal to a lot of them and not to be taken lightly.

[Rainbow Phoenix]

Kudos to you crimson_courage for having those morals and its that what you truely believe then any girl worthy of you will respect your beliefs (I personally wish I had waited before having sex becauses its so much better in a meaningful relationship)

However if you are doing it to try and get one up on your dad by not emulating his behaviour then maybe you're wrong to wait. As has been said before having sex doesn't mean you're like your dad.

If it feels right deep down to do it then don't feel bad

If it feels right to wait wait

Its your decision, hard as it is try not to let your dads past actions influence you in your life.

Phoenix

[Crimson_Courage]

Thank you all so very much for taking the time to help out a guy in need of strange guidence. You are all very appreciated by me and I am grateful for your help. I hope everything goes well for all of you and May God bless you all!

Laterz~