'attention'! grr

[icey]

Hi,

Problem is:

My girlfriend told me some guy was following her and her mates around town yesterday and he kept trying to ask her out, she said no and went in a shop with her mates, one of her mates had stayed outside though and got talking to this lad, she gives him my gf's mobile number.
so he starts texting and phoning her, and after some arguing last night it camne out that she had met up with him (he lives near one of her friends) and talked to him for a bit. she swears that nothing happened and that she didnt even touch him.
somehow i ended up seeing her phone last night and read the outbox which had messages saying how she didnt have a bf and did he want a gf? and also said she likes him.
i got really pissed off about this and we argued, she was saying how sorry she was and that she only did it for a bit of attention and that she never liked him and only said that because if she said she didnt like him he'd stop paying her attention. shes said shes really sorry and that she only wants me and didnt even like this other lad - just wanted some attention and it was nice to feel wanted.
i love her so much and really cant imagine life without her but i dont know if i can stay with her any longer because this feels like a massive betrayal and how can i ever trust her again?
just need some advice, can things really work with her, or should we just call it a day :(

[Makoto]

I would of thought it was obvious what to do. Give her attention, you cannot be giving her much if she is trying to seek it else where.

[lucifer devil]

Hi,

Problem is:

My girlfriend told me some guy was following her and her mates around town yesterday and he kept trying to ask her out, she said no and went in a shop with her mates, one of her mates had stayed outside though and got talking to this lad, she gives him my gf's mobile number.
so he starts texting and phoning her, and after some arguing last night it camne out that she had met up with him (he lives near one of her friends) and talked to him for a bit. she swears that nothing happened and that she didnt even touch him.
somehow i ended up seeing her phone last night and read the outbox which had messages saying how she didnt have a bf and did he want a gf? and also said she likes him.
i got really pissed off about this and we argued, she was saying how sorry she was and that she only did it for a bit of attention and that she never liked him and only said that because if she said she didnt like him he'd stop paying her attention. shes said shes really sorry and that she only wants me and didnt even like this other lad - just wanted some attention and it was nice to feel wanted.
i love her so much and really cant imagine life without her but i dont know if i can stay with her any longer because this feels like a massive betrayal and how can i ever trust her again?
just need some advice, can things really work with her, or should we just call it a day :(

Bottom line is, you can't have a relationship without trust. If you don't trust your gf, then you're destined to be unhappy for the rest of your time together - you not trusting her will mean that you'll always be thinking she's going off with someone else. Do you really want to live like that? If what she's done has really affected you badly and you feel you cannot trust her then yes, perhaps you should call it a day. However, you say you really love her so perhaps you can try and talk things through?

[IRN BRU]

It sounds to me like your girlfriend has self esteem issues (Had this with my ex) They dont actually cheat on you but they love the thought of being liked so flirting and "pulling" is a must for them whether they are with you or not, if you can put up with this then good for you if not I would suggest talking to her and telling her how hurt you are by her indescrection and the fact that she lied to you. Ps what worked for me was constantly telling her she was beautiful and that you wouldnt swop her for anyone etc etc. Dont under any circumstances fight fire with fire I tried that and am now single with a pregnant ex.

Hope hat makes sense.

[morrocan roll]

move on ...leave her ...tell her to go jump in the river ...walk away ...
then see how she reacts.
if she doesn't try to patch it up with you ... theres nowt there to save.

[Carriage Return]

Find out whats wrong with the attention you give her.

Are you just upset about her lying, or does it bother you if she does go with other people?

Based on the above answers sort yourself out, sort her out or separate

[HunnyPot]

What a pathetic little cow. Find someone better.

[Kermit]

move on ...leave her ...tell her to go jump in the river ...walk away ...
then see how she reacts.
if she doesn't try to patch it up with you ... theres nowt there to save.
That's so cynical but so true.

Make hrer make the choice of whether she wants to be with you or not.

There's flirting and there's doing this.

[spongebobsgirl]

i agree with kermit - if she wasnt happy with the attention she was getting off you, why didnt she discuss this with you??
and also, i would've thought if she wanted attention, she would've flirted over texts with this guy abit, not actually lied about being in a relationship and basically asking him out!!!
i think you should at least have a break from this girl, if not finish things altogether. Tell her to get with this other guy if you aint good enough and see how she feels then!
Also, the relationship may not work anyway, as you dont trust her, as you looked through her phone. Not that i can blame you!!
SBG

[Rainbow Phoenix]

Whilst its true your girl may not be happy with the attention you give her its not an excuse for her to seek it elsewhere, she should have discussed it with you.

As for her having self esteem problems, yes it does make you seek attention. I should know its caused hassle in my relationships in the past cos I have low self esteem but again it should be you she seeks help from.

I'd suggest talking to her telling her that you are really not happy and why and insist she becomes more mature and turns to you more. If she shows no evidence of doing this or kicks up a fuss I would show her you are serious by having a temporary break.

In flirting wiuth this guy shes showing you little respect then shoeing you even less respoect by making excuses

Let us know how you get on

Phoenix