fighting with loved ones

[draven]

Im just curious about something...does anyone else fight with the people they love more than with the people they dont care for so much?

Im always taking my crappy problems out on my boyfriend and my parents and they are the 3 people who i KNOW love me the most. It isnt fair on them and I hate myself for being so mean. I guess they are the ones who get to see the real me, warts and all :(

I know they say we only fight with the people we love, but I hate it. Its not fair that I use them as an emotional punchbag. Any thoughts or suggestions? Oh and I do TRY not to do it, but i guess i have no other means of venting my anger so they get the brunt of it. I feel really terrible about it :(:o

[malteser monkay]

My bf sometimes bears the grudge of my particular lament of the day. I don't essentially blame him though, I just get passionate about something that gets on my tits and he has to hear all about it.

Another perspective (cause I was unsure by your thread) is that something pisses you off, and then you pick reasons at them in order to vent your frustration in an argument that is aimed at them? You have to remind yourself of why you're argueing. A bloke I used to sees been popping back into my life recently and causing all sorts of rukus and it's ended in me and my bf argueing terribly, and I stopped that by being reasonable, by realising that I was allowing this other bloke to come between our relationship. You just have to learn to discuss and confide with them about what is directly pissing you off- whether it's a friend, your job, if they've done something - speak to them respectfully, at their level. Don't attempt to raise your voice, stay calm. If you find yourself picking an argument which far from what is actually bothering you, then stop and apologise and tell the what is really bugging you.We all get ratty sometimes, some of us more than others. You just have to teach yourself to be calmer, methodical, don't pick at your relationships with these people in your life, don't pick at them, pick at where your truth pissed-off-ness is coming from.

malt xxx :)

[Bri-namite]

I'm the same.

Can't get severely annoyed at anyone I'm not especially bothered about. Had a fair few massive arguments with loved ones, it's funny how it works out.

I usually go in a huff for a while, then come back and realise I was a dick.

[briggi]

It's probably because we know the people who love and care about us the most are the people who are going to forgive us for having a hissy-bitch-fit over who holds the remote or whether the chicken or the egg came first ;)

I throw horrible tantrums on odd occasions and to be honest they're only ever directed at/in the presence of my mum or my boyfriend. If I acted that way around anyone else I think they'd either have me sectioned or refuse to speak to me ever again.

I think it's also a lot to do with the fact that things they do hurt us more than the things done by random people we vaguely know, or strangers. For instance if a friend/family member/boyfriend was inconsiderate or rude to you, you'd probably make much more of an issue of it to their face than you would with someone at work or someone on the bus. It's because you feel this level of closeness that you're able to express any emotion or feeling toward them, be it good feeling (like giving them a hug) or bad (smacking them upside the head).

I'm not condoning chewing out your nearest and dearest, cos it's not exactly going to win them over even if they do love you unconditionally (PMT and all) but rest assured because I think most people are the same. As for a resolution, I'm sure they know you don't mean the things you say or do, and are only acting the way you do on a temporary basis of insanity ;) but it still probably hurts them to bear the brunt of your anger. I know my mum especially gets really fed up with me when I have spates of bad moods. You're obviously aware that you do this, so when you feel yourself getting angry, pissed off, upset or anything else then try and rationalise it. Go somewhere and be on your own if it helps, or try and talk it out calmly without blaming or shouting or anything like that. I know this is all simplistic advice, but it's the straightforward stuff remembered at the right time that helps :)

[x .beepbeep.]

Im just curious about something...does anyone else fight with the people they love more than with the people they dont care for so much?

Im always taking my crappy problems out on my boyfriend and my parents and they are the 3 people who i KNOW love me the most. It isnt fair on them and I hate myself for being so mean. I guess they are the ones who get to see the real me, warts and all :(

I know they say we only fight with the people we love, but I hate it. Its not fair that I use them as an emotional punchbag. Any thoughts or suggestions? Oh and I do TRY not to do it, but i guess i have no other means of venting my anger so they get the brunt of it. I feel really terrible about it :(:o

You dont have warts and there isnt anything particuarly unusual about it, which im sure others will/would agree. Dont feel terrible and you are a silly for posting this, thingy.

You make yourself sound nasty and you are the anti-thesis of nasty, you are wonderful and beautiful. I have said to much on here, but..listen.
:love:

[nicebutdim23]

really angry at my other half at the mo and its only partially his fault, some of it is me being a big bitch who over reacts but he just makes me angry.