Friends keep pressuring

[Hellfire]

Why do some friends keep asking the same things, over n over when i say i don't wanna talk about it, yet they keep asking, it's doing my head in, "why won't you let me in" or "im your friend, tell me" It's driving me crazy no matter how many times I tell them they keep doing it :(

[littlemissy]

Originally posted by Hellfire
Why do some friends keep asking the same things, over n over when i say i don't wanna talk about it, yet they keep asking, it's doing my head in, "why won't you let me in" or "im your friend, tell me" It's driving me crazy no matter how many times I tell them they keep doing it :(

Because they care? Or because you always make a big deal of how low or bad you are feeling and why they ask you go "nvm"? These things piss people off. If you don't want to talk about it then you don't say that there is something on your mind, or how low you are feeling.

[Hellfire]

Originally posted by littlemissy
Because they care? Or because you always make a big deal of how low or bad you are feeling and why they ask you go "nvm"? These things piss people off. If you don't want to talk about it then you don't say that there is something on your mind, or how low you are feeling.

No, it's not that, I am happy today, they asked something to do with my gf, i did not want to talk about it and said i didn't then THEY made the big deal out of it, talking about it, it's annoying me.. I don't want to talk to them about it :(

[stargalaxy]

Originally posted by Hellfire
They asked something to do with my gf, i did not want to talk about it and said i didn't then THEY made the big deal out of it, talking about it, it's annoying me.. I don't want to talk to them about it :( Why do they want to talk about your girlfriend? I would say that there are certain things in relationships that should be kept private.

[Hellfire]

they was asking general things, and i didn't want to go into it or anything at all

[stargalaxy]

Originally posted by Hellfire
they was asking general things, and i didn't want to go into it or anything at all. Stand by your guns. If you believe that certain aspects of your relationship are private, that is the end of it.

[aimz]

I'd say your being too harsh, littlemissy is right, all this person is doing is caring for you... be careful or you'll loose them

ETA: unless they have been close mates for ages with you, and they understand how you react.

[stargalaxy]

Originally posted by aimz
I'd say your being too harsh, littlemissy is right, all this person is doing is caring for you... be careful or you'll lose them. Very well, perhaps a compromise is in line here. Hellfire, maybe you could try and answer some questions, but make sure there are boundaries. There may be areas of your relationship which are private, and you should not have to talk about this. It seems to be a case of getting a balancing act, something I admit I did not grasp immediately.

[Hellfire]

I would talk to them about it, just it doesn't feel right right now, i tried to tell them that i don't want to talk to them, although it does involve this person,

[stargalaxy]

Originally posted by Hellfire
I would talk to them about it, just it doesn't feel right right now, i tried to tell them that i don't want to talk to them, although it does involve this person. In that case, say "I'd like to talk to you right now about this, but I can't. It just doesn't feel right at the moment." But this sounds rather complicated.

[aimz]

well if they are your friends and you trust them then you should talk to them and confide in them, and if IT does involve this person, then tell them they may help you...

I had a friend exactly like you once and they were too on and off so i decided to call it a day, they cant be a true friend if they dont share things with ya....

[Hellfire]

Originally posted by stargalaxy
In that case, say "I'd like to talk to you right now about this, but I can't. It just doesn't feel right at the moment." But this sounds rather complicated.

I said, I don't want to go into it now, Why does it always seem im the bad guy, God, maybe i just wanted to think for a bit, maybe they should hastle me less, although i care for them alot, it's hard as they always ask about this thing,

[stargalaxy]

Originally posted by aimz
I had a friend exactly like you once and they were too on and off so i decided to call it a day, they cant be a true friend if they dont share things with ya.... I must admit there is a certain validity in what you are saying, Aimz. Right now, I only have one real friend, but I tell her absolutely everything about me. I don't hide any secrets, though Hellfire could not be, in a sense, deliberately withholding this information on a sensitive subject.

[Hellfire]

Originally posted by aimz
well if they are your friends and you trust them then you should talk to them and confide in them, and if IT does involve this person, then tell them they may help you...

I had a friend exactly like you once and they were too on and off so i decided to call it a day, they cant be a true friend if they dont share things with ya....

but you have to relise things aren't always straight foward,

I don't feel ready to talk about it, as it's still a mess in my own head,

[stargalaxy]

Originally posted by Hellfire
I said, I don't want to go into it now, Why does it always seem im the bad guy, God, maybe i just wanted to think for a bit, maybe they should hastle me less, although i care for them alot, it's hard as they always ask about this thing. Hellfire, you're no bad guy. Even having argued with you a few times, I don't think that at all. You don't have to go into this here, I was simply saying this seems to sound complicated. There seems to be a lot of emotion involved. I believe it would be best to get your head in order on this before talking to anyone else.

[aimz]

Originally posted by Hellfire
but you have to relise things aren't always straight foward,

I don't feel ready to talk about it, as it's still a mess in my own head, Yeah so dont tell them about it then, if you start to tell them abotu a problem then try and withdraw it, it aint gona make them very happy... especially if it is about them!

i dont see things like you do, if i have a mate that i share almost everything with especially personal family probs with them, and then something happens to them and i couldnt help them coz they wouldnt tell me i'd be very upset....

but then again thats just me.... people have to deal with the fact im like that... if you want to be cagey, then be cagey... but your only hurting yourself in the end

[aimz]

Originally posted by stargalaxy
I believe it would be best to get your head in order on this before talking to anyone else. I agree with SG but dont get the other person involved if you never plan to tell them...

[stargalaxy]

Originally posted by aimz
i dont see things like you do, if i have a mate that i share almost everything with especially personal family probs with them, and then something happens to them and i couldnt help them coz they wouldnt tell me i'd be very upset... but then again thats just me.... people have to deal with the fact im like that... if you want to be cagey, then be cagey... but your only hurting yourself in the end. I've definitely seen this before. I refused to tell people about things when I was at college, and I lost countless friends because of it. These days, I have just the one whom I tell everything to. She means the world to me. HELLFIRE: It would be best to sort out your thoughts and then work out the way forward. Good luck to you. :)

[aimz]

Im not saying he has to tell everyone but dont start to tell someone that obviously cares a lot about you and then stop telling her coz you dont feel like it, if it were me i wouldnt be talking to you as i'd be too hurt about it

but yeah as SG said good luck.

[littlemissy]

Originally posted by Hellfire
I would talk to them about it, just it doesn't feel right right now, i tried to tell them that i don't want to talk to them, although it does involve this person,

Erm ... if it involves this other person then you have a right to tell her, even if it is still "messed up in your head just now". If something involved me and you weren't telling me then I would be pissed off too =/

[lisa simpson's saxophone]

Hmmm I kind of feel a bit like your friends probably feel now... you keep saying I don't want to talk about 'this thing' and so on, which just makes me want to ask 'what's the thing you can't talk about?'