help :'-(

[ryoko_rock]

I just don't know what to do. I'm at uni in Bristol, and the guy I love (as in, we both want to spend the rest of our lives together- believe me, I know how cheesy that sounds, and I usually hate it when people say that at 18/19, but it actually is true) is at Southampton.

But we agreed that at uni we wouldn't be going out, cos it's just too difficult. I saw him this weekend, and obviously we're both not going out with anyone else at the moment, so I spent the weekend 'with' him, and it was fantastic. Until I found out from someone else that he'd got with another girl there.

I'm not angry with him for doing it, or not telling me. I'm just upset, a part of me stupidly hoped I could change his mind when I saw him this weekend, so that we'd actually be going out, because I've changed my mind and want to be with him. But we talked about it today and he says he can't have a relationship with me when I'm in Bristol.

I just don't know what to do, I see his point, but emotionally I just keep feeling like he's all I want, and I feel sick if I think about him with other people.

I can't stop crying and I just need to get this out, I'm sorry. :(

[Samuti]

What's too difficult about being in a long-distance relationship?

I've been in one for nearly 3 years now - I'm in Leeds and he's in Norwich. If you really want to make it work, it can happen. You get yourselves Young Person's Railcards or take the Megabus to save money. You see each other maybe 2 weekends out of every 4.

I think that when you first agreed to not be together whilst at uni you weren't, emotionally speaking, 100% sure about it. But you went ahead anyway because it seemed like the logical, practical thing to do.

He says he can't have a relationship with you while you're in Bristol. I'm sorry to sound so cruel, but it seems like he wants to take these next three years as an extended bachelor phase, returning to you at the end of it because he knows you'll always be there for him. I hate to say it, but he's using you. You need to decide whether this is really the guy you want in your life. And if you do decide to keep things as they are after all, make sure it's a decision you're 110% happy with.

[ReverandX]

you sure you aren't mad that he was with someone else while you were away? while i don't know your fella i know what guys are like. we do a lot of stupid things.

anyone can have a long distance relationship. it isn't easy and its a lot of work, but it can be worth it. if he doesn't want one though then maybe you can find a guy you love more than him at school or (and i hated it when people said it to me too) later on in life.

the only solid piece of advice i can give is don't be a jacket. meaning don't let him use you when he wants you around and put you away when he doesn't. if that makes any sense at all. that and love sucks big time once in a while.

hope things work out for you.

[swank]

*gone*

[ryoko_rock]

Arg, I know. What you're all saying is true, and yeah maybe he doesn't sound as into it as me. But, it's just not the way he is, he's not an emotional person, he's very practical, it's just the way he thinks.

Try telling him that a long distance relationship will work, he just doesn't think it will, and...oh i know defending him sounds like I'm being a stupid emotional girl. Maybe I am. But I know him, and I think he does feel the same, just has a cynical view towards uni relationships. And I can see his point, yeah it's hard, and a lot of the time it doesn't work.

oh god I just don't know what to do. I sound like such a pathetic idiot.

[ReverandX]

Originally posted by ryoko_rock
oh god I just don't know what to do. I sound like such a pathetic idiot.


doesn't sound pathetic. i know from pathetic. love is a weird thing. you'll figure it out.