trust

[Pan_chan_boo]

i trust my boyfriend more than anything, but last night i found out that perhaps i trust him too much.

i would mind if he'd have asked me about it, but instead i had to find out from our joint account bank ballance, that he's been re-transfering the excess money back into his account.

ok, i understand having a house and a car has left him with little money, and if asked i would have let him take it, as it pays his bills such as paying off the bed we sleep on and such, or the car he drives me round in etc.

but i mean, it really sucks, to have to find out from a bank balance that for 4 moths he's transfered around £40 back into his account? so what? between £120-£160+ he's had put back in his pocket, then he's had the cheek to moan at me about how i supposedly dont trust him, and he's told me a million times he'll quit smoking when in actual fact its the money from the joint account that funds his habbit.

He feels guilty, and i said i understand because he doesnt have much money and all, but i feel like shit. What can i trust about him now?

[not_an_angel]

I think you cannot... sorry... but it is just what I think

[BumbleBee]

I personally think there is a difference between financial trust and romantic trust. So push aside thoughts that you might not be able to trust him in other aspects of your relationship and focus on this.

Perhaps he feels sufficiently guilty that he'll finally give up smoking? Get him along to a smoking cessation clinic at your GP surgery and tell him to spend the excess money on prescriptions to help him quit.

Perhaps you could work something out where excess money is used as a treat for both of you each month.

If he seems remorseful then you need to work it out between you.