making it all better

[*TiNK*]

This is about a mate of mine. She's 17, her bf is 22, they have been in a long distance thing for two years, and for the past 3months they havent seen eachother and this has caused arguments and all sorts between them. He has been speaking to me and telling me on what he plans to do.
Now her bf is coming up at the weekend, and planning to propose to her as he thinks it will "make things better" and make sure he doesnt lose her.
Now out of curiosity, what do you lot think about this? Will it make it better or what? Im trying to tell him it wont make a difference, they'll stil be miles apart, but maybe im wrong, maybe it will make a difference :confused:

[Yerascrote]

no one on this site can help you because we don't know your mate or her bf. is he a physco maniac who thinks a propaosal will make things better or does he genuinely love her?many quesitons like this need to be answered first.

[*TiNK*]

He genuinly loves her, thats a definate yes, and i was just wondering what an oppinion would be from someone else's point of view.

[Yerascrote]

Originally posted by *TiNK*
He genuinly loves her, thats a definate yes.

is she emotionally ready for marriage, 17 seems a bit young

[*TiNK*]

Originally posted by turlough
is she emotionally ready for marriage, 17 seems a bit young

No, but his "plan" is, to get engaged, and wait a few years until she has been to uni etc, which is weird. Im asking because i know once he's asked her she'l come running to me and ask what to do.

[Yerascrote]

Originally posted by *TiNK*
He genuinly loves her, thats a definate yes, and i was just wondering what an oppinion would be from someone else's point of view.

personally i'd wait till the arguement or whatevr blows over first, your mate might take this proposal the wrong way, like a buying back your love thingy even though thats not your mates boy's intention

[dizzzy]

i have just started uni and my bloke brought me and all my stuff up when i moved in to halls

he also proposed to me that day. i think it has made us stronger, but maybe more for him than for me because i think he now feels he has left his 'mark' on me

[RepeatToFade]

If he does ask her and she says yes, then I think it will only make things better in the short term. It'll probably stop the arguements for a bit, because it'll be a new thing being engaged and might make them more lovey-dovey for a bit until they get used to it. I really doubt that this will solve anything though, if they are arguing a lot they need to sort this out, or it'll just come up again and again until they solve it.

He shouldn't just ask her to marry him to 'make things better' and to make sure he doesn't lose her, he should do it because he loves her so much and wants to be with her all his life. Maybe he does, but I still don't think he should it to patch things up with her. It sounds like he's feeling insecure in the relationship, if he needs to do that to make sure he doesn't lose her. I suggest you try and get them to patch things up, before he asks her, and get them to sort out the insecurity he's feeling.

[Olive]

it won't make a bit of difference.

marriage is something to do after you're totally sure it's forever, not to patch up the pieces. i guess it's better than having a baby to try to make things better - at least it's just their own lives they're fiddling with.

but urgh. horrid idea. if he wants to make things better, he's gonna have to put a bit more effort than empty promises, you know?

if it's long distance, maybe he would make a surprise visit to see her? or send her something special through the post?

[*TiNK*]

I spoke to him, and he said he would only ever ask her to get engaged if he had to, which he thinks he does, to keep her and to show he loves her. When he said this i just told him no, i mean as a last resort?! So wrong. Thanks for what you've all said :)

[lisa simpson's saxophone]

A proposal should happen at a time when both of you are happy and ready to make that commitment. Not at a time when things are rocky and unstable. If they got engaged when things weren't going so well between them then I don't think it would bode well for the marriage.

Why doesn't he do something like take her away for a weekend or buy her surprise tickets to a gig of a band she likes or something like that? Expensive, but not as expensive as an engagement ring could be!

[swank]

*gone*

[swank]

*gone*