Doofay
02-07-2004, 11:23 PM
Ok, basically i've tried everything, and i've never asked for advice on internet forums before, but i won't bother with the whole different usernames thing etc.
Basically, take subject A) Leanne. Shes one of my closest friends and i can trust her with anything, regardless of how bad it is etc. Everything goes fine with boy - girl friendships, until sod's law dictates that one person must fall for the other one, and in this case i fell for her. I was madly into her for maybe 9 months, constantly on my mind when i had to get up for work on a saturday and sunday morning, which wasn't too bad for a while.
I later admitted this to her as i felt like i was kind of betraying her by looking at her in a way that was as if she was more than a friend. I told her, she said she was flattered but just friends blah blah, and i was happy enough with the situation, in that it was alright that i liked her, just we were only friends and nothing more.
The plot thickened a little while later when a night before she stopped over at my house for the night she told me that she wanted to kiss me etc and that it was a just mates thing. I of course was very happy about this, got my hopes up and was really looking forward to it. All that morning at work i was very happy, i went and met her and we went to mine for a while. Got back to my house, had a laugh for a bit but later on she told me that she wanted to kiss my best mate who she obviously liked [sod's law strikes again] as well as me. Went out, had a bit to drink etc and i ended up spending all night sat in a chair by myself while him and her got off with each other. I was quite bothered by this, but still thought fuck it, doesn't matter.
Later on i got a lot more into her, she was driving me mad as i couldnt stop thinkign about her at stupidly early hours of the morning when i was getting up at 5am for work. Completely took over my mind and meant i got angry with myself in the mornigns for liking her. Another one of my mates started having gatherings where a few of them went round and got drunk, and they spent a good 6 months getting off with each other every couple of weekends. This sent me through hell whenever i knew they were there, and i couldn't enjoy myself on a saturday night properly knowing what they were up to. My relationship with my best mate of all 16 years of my life disintegrated, i started to hate a lot of people but didnt bother to speak up about it as im happy 99.99999% of the time on the outside, and i never get in moods no matter what time of day etc.
They did something fairly serious, which somehow managed to make me take a reality check, i gradually stopped liking her and got closer to my best mate again.
More recently, i didn't think i liked her but shes got closer so subject c) a lad who goes to those gathering things. Hes shagged hundereds of girls and when he talks about them to other lads he basically talks about them like shit etc. She likes him, he likes her, they've both admitted it and i'm so worried for her.
Anyway, sorry for the huge essay, but a couple of questions if you don't mind answering and have bothered reading it all:
1) Shall i say anything about the last year, which is possibly the worst year i've ever had or should i just let it lie?
2) Shall i say anything to her about how i hate the idea of her being with this lad, or do you think that i still like her and should just leave her to it and
3) How the fuck do i forget about it and start enjoying myself again without having my brain racked with thoughts about her.
Sorry for all that, if nothing else i've got it out of my head for the first time now :)
Duffy
Basically, take subject A) Leanne. Shes one of my closest friends and i can trust her with anything, regardless of how bad it is etc. Everything goes fine with boy - girl friendships, until sod's law dictates that one person must fall for the other one, and in this case i fell for her. I was madly into her for maybe 9 months, constantly on my mind when i had to get up for work on a saturday and sunday morning, which wasn't too bad for a while.
I later admitted this to her as i felt like i was kind of betraying her by looking at her in a way that was as if she was more than a friend. I told her, she said she was flattered but just friends blah blah, and i was happy enough with the situation, in that it was alright that i liked her, just we were only friends and nothing more.
The plot thickened a little while later when a night before she stopped over at my house for the night she told me that she wanted to kiss me etc and that it was a just mates thing. I of course was very happy about this, got my hopes up and was really looking forward to it. All that morning at work i was very happy, i went and met her and we went to mine for a while. Got back to my house, had a laugh for a bit but later on she told me that she wanted to kiss my best mate who she obviously liked [sod's law strikes again] as well as me. Went out, had a bit to drink etc and i ended up spending all night sat in a chair by myself while him and her got off with each other. I was quite bothered by this, but still thought fuck it, doesn't matter.
Later on i got a lot more into her, she was driving me mad as i couldnt stop thinkign about her at stupidly early hours of the morning when i was getting up at 5am for work. Completely took over my mind and meant i got angry with myself in the mornigns for liking her. Another one of my mates started having gatherings where a few of them went round and got drunk, and they spent a good 6 months getting off with each other every couple of weekends. This sent me through hell whenever i knew they were there, and i couldn't enjoy myself on a saturday night properly knowing what they were up to. My relationship with my best mate of all 16 years of my life disintegrated, i started to hate a lot of people but didnt bother to speak up about it as im happy 99.99999% of the time on the outside, and i never get in moods no matter what time of day etc.
They did something fairly serious, which somehow managed to make me take a reality check, i gradually stopped liking her and got closer to my best mate again.
More recently, i didn't think i liked her but shes got closer so subject c) a lad who goes to those gathering things. Hes shagged hundereds of girls and when he talks about them to other lads he basically talks about them like shit etc. She likes him, he likes her, they've both admitted it and i'm so worried for her.
Anyway, sorry for the huge essay, but a couple of questions if you don't mind answering and have bothered reading it all:
1) Shall i say anything about the last year, which is possibly the worst year i've ever had or should i just let it lie?
2) Shall i say anything to her about how i hate the idea of her being with this lad, or do you think that i still like her and should just leave her to it and
3) How the fuck do i forget about it and start enjoying myself again without having my brain racked with thoughts about her.
Sorry for all that, if nothing else i've got it out of my head for the first time now :)
Duffy