Girls don't want a gentleman any more?!

[Davy]

I'm a damn gentleman as gentle and manly as they come (at same time :cool:

I open doors first all the time. I pay all the time. I us please and thank you and don't wear in front of girls and apologise if I do. I don't raise my voice and always let them go first on whatever the subject. I ask thier opinions on things like meals and drinks. I can't do any more for girls on first dates.

I am not a shy person. I'm well dressed and fashionable. I'm thoughtfu; and kind and can make any one laugh. Girl like funny guys don't they? Why don't they like manners, too?!

If I don't bother with manners and act like a slob not givin a damn, they seem to bloody stalk me afterwards never leavin me alone!!

What's goin on in the world?! Do you girls not care for manners and respect in a man any more?

[Mr_Wobble]

Girls don't go for nice guys. They go for the bad ones because they seem more exciting. And when they've had enough of them - then they go and find another bad guy, or go back to the same one. Duuurrrrr! :(

[burningwings]

i like guys with manners and respect at the same time as a guy who is sweet and lovely at the same time as a "bad" guy just cos theyre more fun.....so really my perfect guy would have to have a wide range of personalities!!!
youll find a girl.....lots of girls are probably hating being trodden over and looking for a guy like you!

[ShyBoy]

bad guys are more fun because you never know if they're going to end up sleeping with your best mate, it's that tension! Sweet guys are too safe, you know they're going to be there for you, so boring, apparently.

Personally my girlfriend is incredibly sweet but when I went out with her I found out lots of interesting and exciting things. Maybe that's the thing you need to do: have a hidden side?

[Carolina]

I always find i'm attracted to the men who are gentleman and have manners but who are still manly as well. You can be nice but firm which i think is where people go wrong. The reason i fell for my ex was because he had good manners, was a gentleman, treated me with respect but was still a man's man. I felt on an equal footing emotionally as both of us were confident strong personalities but both had a softer side. My problem is because i can be so bolshy a couple of ex's used to let me get away with being the dominant person instead of standing up to me. Dad always said i'd fall for someone when they actually stood up to me and low and behold i did.

So the moral of the story. Nice blokes tend to get taken for granted (because we're evil fickle women) so just have the odd "man tantrum" now and again to remind us that it's an equal partnership.

[RudeBwoy]

Girl likes bad boy > Bad boy hurts girl > Bad boy gets horny > Girl goes back to bad boy.

Its one big cycle mate and i know exactly how you feel. Girl dont like nice guys now. Heres an idea:

EVERYONE ACT LIKE A ****

Nobody will be single then :D

[BumbleBee]

What a load of rubbish. I have not and never will find a 'bad boy' attractive.

I much prefer gentlemen there are just very few around! :p

[littlemissy]

Originally posted by BumbleBee
What a load of rubbish. I have not and never will find a 'bad boy' attractive.

I mucg prefer gentlemen there are just very few around! :p

so very true :yes:

i have never been attracted to bad boys and i doubt i ever will too.

[*TiNK*]

Originally posted by TheShyBoyInTheCorner
bad guys are more fun because you never know if they're going to end up sleeping with your best mate,

Thats happened to me :( Thing is i cant help being attracted to bad boys, stupid.

[g_angel]

Just something I would like to say - stop paying for everything mate.

It's supposed to be a world of "equality" so let the women pay their way. Sure, pay now and again, but make sure that (assuming they have some money) they at least grab the bill from time to time. it's only fair.

You can still be a gent with good manners etc but, to me, the paying thing is a thing from the past.

I used to pay for everything - not any more.

G.

[lucifer devil]

You shouldn't always have to pay, it's 2004 - the girl should pay sometimes too!

I'd much prefer someone who treated me with some respect than someone who didn't, tbh. You'll meet someone who appreciates your gentlemanly ways soon, don't worry/

[*ash*n*nick*]

i love a good gentleman!if i have to pay for nick,which a lot of times i do(as he wastes his money on movies and cd's for him)i get mad a lot of the time,paying is good,or at least that is the way i look at it,more money to go shopping right?lol,just kidding

[twisted_trinity]

Originally posted by Davy
I'm a damn gentleman as gentle and manly as they come (at same time :cool:

I open doors first all the time. I pay all the time. I us please and thank you and don't wear in front of girls and apologise if I do. I don't raise my voice and always let them go first on whatever the subject. I ask thier opinions on things like meals and drinks. I can't do any more for girls on first dates.

I am not a shy person. I'm well dressed and fashionable. I'm thoughtfu; and kind and can make any one laugh. Girl like funny guys don't they? Why don't they like manners, too?!

If I don't bother with manners and act like a slob not givin a damn, they seem to bloody stalk me afterwards never leavin me alone!!

What's goin on in the world?! Do you girls not care for manners and respect in a man any more?

bollocks to anyone who says that girls want anything else than what you describe yourself as...i have been looking for someone like you for ages....and i think i found them too, unfortunatly it's not you. but keep looking cos i'm sure i'm not one of a kind.

[innocent_gal]

do u want my number??? lol

no seriously though theres loads of girls who like that. even if there isnt, i do!!!

[Butterflykisses]

Ha ha sorry girls he lives in the same area as me!!

Seriously there are a lot of girls who like bad boys for the excitement and the crazy side of things but once you've been hurt enough times you start to come back to your senses. Just wait it out.... or alternatively come see me! ;) :p

[melanie]

Im not sure how old you are but ive notice that with most girls that the older they get that the more they go for people that respect them and treat them nicely. Im not sayin go and grab a granny or anything, just wait im sure the right girl will come along soon ;)

[Davy]

I just turned 19 on sunday just gone.

I could be really ugleh, tho!

I have a lil a-hole side to me, too! I tend to have a bit of an anger problem but I call it mis-vented passion ;)

With all these girls sayin thats the description they'd love ... I could run the risk of soundin like a Internet dater! Is London the same area as Berkshire?

Where about in London just out of curiosity? I understand that if you reply with just this answer to above question it would be off-topic and annoyin to mods so just PM if that's all you wanna say in reply.

I've been on the Internet too long I know BB rules too well :eek2:

[ShyBoy]

I say 'nice guys' who are unable to attract girls are probably (unfortunately) unexciting. But you don't have to be bad to be exciting. I mean, a bit of spontanaeity and 'danger' never goes amiss in a relationship. And teeth...

[lea_uk]

i'd rather have a nice guy than a bad guy any day.

[Olive]

Originally posted by Mel-H
Im not sure how old you are but ive notice that with most girls that the older they get that the more they go for people that respect them and treat them nicely.

that's true, you know :p

but yeah, i love a man who says please and thank you in the appropriate places and doesn't mind holding doors open for people or giving up his seat on the bus.

BUT, he's got to be interesting and funny and stuff too. i wouldn't go for a guy just cause he was nice.

[Davy]

would you reckon this guy has manners...?

[Olive]

you can't tell from a pic. specially not a dodgy blurred one.

the other day i was on the bus, and this rough-looking gangster type got on, swagger and all, and i got the shock of my life when he opened his mouth and said 'scuse me mate, could you change a tenner? ok, fank you vurry much'.

ok, so that alone isn't gonna make me want to be with someone, but it made him a lot more attractive, imo.

[BumbleBee]

Originally posted by Davy
would you reckon this guy has manners...?

You can't judge on the way you look. Seriously yesterday I was in a shop and there were two men in suits browsing the shelves. One of them was on his mobile phone and he was telling whoever he was talking to that he thought it was rude to be on his phone in the shop because he was knocking into people, and he would call him back soon. I watched him as he was looking around and he was very polite to the other customers, saying 'excuse me', and 'thank you' , and 'would you please pass me that', he let a woman with a baby go before him in the queue and he was just generally very nice. His mate was a rude arrogant git even though you would expect a man in a suit to have manners!

[Makoto]

Dunno if it's the same for girls but I like a girl to be a little sarcastic, and a bit stubborn.. not to into the nice girl next door type.

p.s, maybe your looking in the wrong places mate, nothing wrong with a well mannered person, just show you can make a little effort. Saying that, when I have been like that I found it picks up older woman more than girls my own age.

[hatmuncher]

you can say that girls only want the bad guys, but could it not be said that us guys only want the the bad girls???

[lea_uk]

i say keep being yourself and one day you'll find a woman that appreciates you for who you are :)

[Freyja]

And here's another girl who thinks that actually, overall bad guys finish last- they might have more success to begin with but generally a girl who respects herself will get rid of a guy who doesn't respect her too. That is unless the treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen thing really works?

But honestly, if girls know whats good for them they'll hang onto nice guys (I've got mine, and I'm never gonna lose him again!).

Manners, consideration, respect- everything you talked about- it has a really high value in serious relationships- you'll meet plenty of girls who appreciate you!

[Mr_Wobble]

Originally posted by hatmuncher
but could it not be said that us guys only want the the bad girls??? Nope. I'd say I want a nice girl. Polite in public. A princess in company - and an utter slut in the bedroom! :naughty:

[Kermit]

It's all well and good being nice, but there has to be some substance to it.

Always paying, always doing as your told- it's a bit boring, innit?

[Namaste]

Depends on what you call a gentleman though... It doesn't take much for somebody to respect a lady's feelings...

[Kazbo]

Originally posted by Mr_Wobble
Nope. I'd say I want a nice girl. Polite in public. A princess in company - and an utter slut in the bedroom! :naughty:

ROFL...thats so you wobble.

but no Everyones really said what i had to say...I go for guys who are gentlemen... My new fella is the absolute perfect gentleman but he knows how to put me in my place as well. (Yeah I know it don't take me long to move on....please don't say anything!)

Guys need to be strong but still well mannered and polite and helpful. Girls fall for it more and more when they get older and want to settle down. The bad boy sort of image is all well and good when we're just out for a bit of fun, but when we want to be serious it's a no no.

[Young and sexy]

I like guys who are considerate, polite, and have manners. Yet, I hate the false-ness. If I was with someone and they kept appoloising for swearing and such, I'd kinda get a bit bored...It's only natural to swear! Things like that look like you're trying too hard. But afterall, people like you for you. Don't try to be 'what girls like' because if it's not you, it'll show through and put people off.

[Kermit]

I think generally girls respond well to politeness and tenderness, but not if you have based your entire character and personality on being nice.

Anyone can be nice, but not everyone can be interesting.

[Capacity]

These threads have got to be the most fucking annoying in the world. Consider the following...

You'll have to accept that I can't be arsed writing "most women" and "some men" every time I'm talking about a sex... So don't go accusing me of taring everyone with the same brush, just use your brains.

As a general rule, the bad lads that women tend to go for are the most confident type of lad. You can be polite, charming, gentle and all that bollocks - but you will never be as confident as a bad boy. The reason for this lies in the reason for their confidence. What am I talking about, you ask? The reason bad boys are so confident is because the vast majority have grown up being the best looking boys in their area. So really, when people moan on about how girls "always go for the bad boys", they're just as well saying "they go for good-looking boys, who just so happen to be bad". Make sense?

A lot of people, girls especially, are under false impressions of what a "bad boy" is. While they may think that a boy is 'bad' if he cheats on women, he is really just using some womens inhability to keep their hands off him to his advantage. How shitty of them, but this behavior is not unfamiler amongst women either. Try not to confuse bad-boys with boys-who-treat-girls-badly.

There are, of course, special circumstances where a good-looking guy may not be a bad boy. Two of the most common are where the lad was beat as a child and was learnt to treat people with respect, or if the lad had "ugly-duckling syndrome" (weren't good looking in their younger years but have grown to become handsome).

A common term used in this situation is "nice guys finish last". Bluntly put, a lot of 'nice' guys feel that they are entitled to date women who are of a higher level of attractiveness than themselves. This is because they see themselves as 'nice' in comparison to the bad guys, who often get what they want. It is often the case that a girls initial impressions of a guy are based on his looks; but the fact that they were noticed in the first place (unless they are extremely good-looking) would be down to their confidence which would make them stand out in some way or another.

I refuse to believe any girl who says that they'd pick a nice guy over a bad guy any day. Maybe they've had bad experiences in the past, but they would make the same mistake over and over again because human emotions rule over reasonable thinking.

Girls often say that they want a "sensitive, thoughtful, caring guy who has still got a bit of a bad boy side to him". Not asking for much then? A note to you all; bad-boys and nice-guys are the .o.p.p.o.s.i.t.e. to each other. This means that they can be either one or the other, not both. I'm not saying that a guy is either totally nice or totally bad, I'm saying that you'll never get the perfect combination of what you want and only in rare cases will you get something close. You will all wish that they would be a little bit nicer or a little bit more bad, this is because what you want does not stay constant and fixed forever! If it does, then you'd propose the complaint: "my guy is too predictable, he's nice an' all, but I just wish he was more spontaneous".

So to all the guys who are constantly hating and bitching about the girls who drop them for bad boys, why not try re-evaluating your lifestyle and asking yourself if it is you who is being the 'unreasonable' one? Do you really think that you would be happy even if you did end up with her? All of you are really as bad as one another. I'm not affected because I'm an hermaphrodite with the emotional feelings of an alien, tbh.

Disagree if you wish, but I guarantee that there is an element of truth in what it is you're disagreeing with. Just because I can't be arsed to repeat myself and may not point it out to you, doesn't mean that you shouldn't consider what other people have to say if you truely want to unsolve this "mystery".

Hope that helps.

Tom.

[Davy]

Uhh...yeah Case closed in my opinion :eek2:

I agree with alot of the material thrown around in this topic. I see that girls don't want a gentleman as such. They want a guy for who they really are and if that means forgetting the odd door or asking if they had any money for that meal is perfectly normaly cuz no body is perfect. I spose the gent just doesn't cut the impersonations as much as my confidence should. I used to be a party host for a local bowling alley so I should know confidence over manners! They want a guy who respects his lady yet is kinda manleh :naughty: I read in a magazine somewhere probably one of those trashy ones, tho...that said women want a few things from men and could settle with all the rubbish things:


Manners
Confidence
Sense of Humour
Sense of presence in every room. (Spose dat's so she can show off?!)
Fashion sense (I'm sorry guys but these days its true)
Spontenousalitynessness
Exciting spontaneouslynessness
Nice smile :D


Thanks for the response, guys. :)

Phew...I think just about every active member posted in here!

[Kazbo]

Originally posted by Capacity


I refuse to believe any girl who says that they'd pick a nice guy over a bad guy any day. Maybe they've had bad experiences in the past, but they would make the same mistake over and over again because human emotions rule over reasonable thinking.


erm sorry I have to agree there. I have been out with both types of guys. But girls do learn. They grow up (something men never seem to do). We re-evaluate what we want from rels as we get older it's only natural. What I wanted when I was still a teenager is very different to what I look for today.

I look at guys in clubs these days on the rare occassions I go out on the pull. The confident lads I play. they get turned down, messed about and basically brought down to size. The nice guys, the quieter ones are the lads I go for. Purely because at the end of the day, in my mind due to stereotypes, the confident lads are the bad lads only after one thing and that aint what I want. The quieter ones are the nice guys who ya never know something more might happen with, but they won't be only after 1 thing either most the time. Yes I'm generalising but sorry they're the impressions given.

But tbh these days I only date guys I've got to know first and have a solid friendship with to help build a rel on and the only lads you truely get that with are the nice guys.

[Mr_Wobble]

Originally posted by Kazbo
My new fella is the absolute perfect gentleman but he knows how to put me in my place as well. (Yeah I know it don't take me long to move on....please don't say anything!) As soon as I started reading that, before I even go to the end of the paragraph and read your comment, I was thinking "Bloody hell, she's not hanging around"
So, how did that happen? And how did it happen so quickly? Are you sort of on the rebound?

[junker]

Most of our preceeding males have displayed theirselves as assholes among women, alas the rest of us qre damned to be alone and suffering for the rest of our lives. A bit trite, isn't it? ;)

[Kazbo]

Originally posted by Mr_Wobble
As soon as I started reading that, before I even go to the end of the paragraph and read your comment, I was thinking "Bloody hell, she's not hanging around"
So, how did that happen? And how did it happen so quickly? Are you sort of on the rebound?

Long long story hun. I've been mates with Darryl for a while....bad thing he only lives 6 doors down from Asa and used to work with him but there we go.

End of the road I saw Asa for the untrustworthy, disrespectful swine that he is. Darryl has been going through a tough time and we've grown closer and closer over that time. Got to know each other really well. Went out for night out and one thing led to another. If I admit the truth I've fancied him most of the time I've known him as well, never would have done something whilst I was with Asa, but I was allowed to look eh ;)

SO we just taking things easy, but the one thing I will say is going out with a guy who...I trust, who respects me, worships the ground I walk on etc, and yet also will stick up for himself, not let me get my own way and when he's got an opinion he states it, rather than just agreeing....is a new experience. hehe :D