Confused to the core!

[*§atania*]

Hey guyz, this is probably going to be a bit long-winded...bear with me tho, I could really do with some advice. Thanks.

When I first got with my bf 6 months ago everything was sooo wonderful. He'd always txt me, call etc. Lately there's jack of that! I understand that the "excitement" of it has probably worn away but it feels like we're not even going out anymore. It just feels like before we were going out - we just get together when we're both out at bars/club whatever, and then he comes home with me. We talk yes, but I can only get his feelings out when he's drunk, and that doesn't last long anyway...'cuz well 2 people in bed drunk...you know. Maybe once or twice we went out for a meal and talked (sober!) and it was sooo nice, but I feel like that's not what he wants. I'm not saying that he's only with me to get into to bed with me (seeing as we haven't done it yet in 6 months 'cuz am still a virgin and he's really respectful of that) but it doesn't seem like where getting anywhere.

What I'm wondering, well i know I sould talk to him, but he's not the type if you know what I mean. I don't know what he's feeling tho! :mad: I dunno whether he likes me anymore or as much as before or whther he even realises there's anything wrong! He's so oblivious to everything! :mad: At the moment is fallen out with his mate over me 'cuz we were play fighting and he's a bit over-protective and he hates it when other guyz look at me. Does that mean something or is it just related to his ego?

I'm afraid that if i start asking questions he'll say yeah actually maybe we should brake up, that's why I think it's safest not to stir the boat. I've always been more needy than him, but I need a bit more than he's giving. But it's not right to change him either. And I still really like him, cept its always me that has to make the iniciative to meet up and txt him and stuff.

:( What do I do? Talk to him. I wouldn't even know where to start, I don't want him to think am a loser, obsessed and like am pressurizing him. Maybe I should leave things the way they are?

Any thoughts, opinions and advice lol are soooo welcome.

Thank you.

[lucifer devil]

The only thing I can think to say is to be honest with him, tell him what you've just written there. It might be hard but you might get the answers you're after.

[*§atania*]

Yeah, I just did. He hasn't said anything back yet or anything.:nervous:

[lucifer devil]

Originally posted by *§atania*
Yeah, I just did. He hasn't said anything back yet or anything.:nervous:

was it on msn/txt? maybe if you'd of said it in person you would've got a straight answer.

[*§atania*]

Yeah txt msg. It's so embarassing to call him and nag him about it. I'll see what happens and let you know.

Thanks.

[David Grohl]

any reply??

[BumbleBee]

I know it must be really hard but you do need to talk to him about it. I too would be afraid of a negative outcome but at the very least you would know where you stand. It really is 100 times better to have a relationship that feels good and proper than to have one where you're always wondering.

Hope it works out. :)

[*§atania*]

Originally posted by David Grohl
any reply??
:( No...I think I may call him later if i have the courage.

[David Grohl]

thats really shitty of him, he must have a good reason. he mightnt have read it yet. does he take his phone with him everywere? i hate it when people dont reply. im sure its even worse in your situation. im sure everything will work out ok.

[*§atania*]

Yeah that's what I'm hoping. He always leaves his phone places and takes ages to reply. :mad: Why can't people carry their phones in their pockets or something! I'm thinking all sorts :impissed:

[lisa simpson's saxophone]

Originally posted by *§atania*
I'm afraid that if i start asking questions he'll say yeah actually maybe we should brake up, that's why I think it's safest not to stir the boat.

That's a bad trap to get into. If you're genuinely worried then you need to get it out into the open. Women have a tendency to do this - we think it's better not to rock the boat in case we hear something we don't want to, but if you don't say anything it'll just eat away at you and you'll be unhappy anyway, whereas if you asked the questions you wanted to ask then yes, maybe you'd get told something you didn't want to know, but maybe you'd get everything sorted out and be much happier. Either way, if there's something wrong with the relationship then it's better that you find out now, right? And if there's nothing wrong then you can have your mind put at rest. You've been together six months - I'm sure you can find the guts to take the risk.

And really, don't do it via text - for one thing it's agony waiting for a reply when you could get an instant answer over the phone, and for another, what are you going to do if he replies with the sort of answer you're dreading? You can't exactly talk it through by sending texts back and forth.

[*§atania*]

He dumped me...

[David Grohl]

sorry to hear, how you keeping? im sure you'll be grand after a time. did he give you a decent reason?

[*§atania*]

He said we should cool it for a while, because he'll be in England for most of the summer and then when he comes back i'll soon be moving to England to go to Uni, but I thought we could deal with it. To some extent he has a point but if he really liked me we could have worked it out? He could have stayed with me for a few weeks or at least make the most out of it before he leaves?

Whatever. I knew something was wrong. For the past weeks he was distant and stuff never bothering to meet up with me. I just wish we could go back to how it was at the beginng. :) He used to call me a star and see how I was everyday, send me messages saying he missed me when we were talking on the phone at the same time. :( He said I was beautiful and tasted of strawberries. It was different before this so I know we lost whatever we had and doubt we'll get it back.

It hurts though. I took the photo of me and him off my wall and when I look at the empty space now it just makes me wanna cry. I'm gonna miss him so much :(

[*ickle*]

awwwww :eek2: look its going to hurt for a while, you seemed really really crazy about him and i know your thinking why did I say anything but six months is better than a few years (trust me, I did something similiar for 3 years:mad: )you gotta realise this guy might have been head over heels about you but his heart wasnt in it long term. maybe he just want ready for the whole proper relationship thing. Hope your ok !

[*§atania*]

Thank you. I'm slowly getting over the 'being sad' about it bit, now I'm just angry with the fact that he basically ignored me for the 2 weeks before we even broke up!

[David Grohl]

you sound really nice, hes a dick for acting in such a childish manner. its just plain rude to ignore someone. you'll do fine, theres plenty of decent fellas out there who will treat you right ;)

[*§atania*]

:flirt:

hehe, but seriously, thank you :)