Hot/Cold

[Sparklie]

This is the first time that I've started a post for a long time...guess things can't run smoothly forever though so yeah...I need to rant...any advice or whatever is a bonus

I've been seeing someone for a few months now and he's been so lovely so far. He compliments me and pays for me when we go out and he's just really sweet all the time, I feel totally at ease and really happy when I'm with him. We havn't made our relationship official but what we have has all the signs of a proper relationship so it just seems like neither of us have bothered to bring the subject up.

I've been messed about so many times in past relationships so I've just been taking this one as it comes. I was determined for the first month or so not to like this guy!! This was simply because I thought that he'd turn out to be just like the others and I'd end up getting hurt. Well I let my guard down eventually and I've started to have really strong feelings towards him.

Well everything seems fine, no problems until now. I havn't seen him for nearly 2 weeks!! He's been in touch nearly every day and I know that he's working hard and working really stupid hours too but surely he could find some time to see me. This has happened once before. I spent every day with him for 2 whole weeks and it was great and then I didn't see him for a whole week after that. He still finds time to see his friends so I'm starting to feel a little left out when he doesn't see me too. He just seems to be blowing really hot and cold.

Am I stupid for thinking this? Is there an obvious reason for his behaviour that I'm missing? Has he lost interest or am I just being paranoid? lol

I'm not sure if this sounds like it makes sense or not (result of one too many drinks I suspect...and on a college night too tut-tut) but it's made me feel better to get it off my chest. Oh yeah...a couple of mates have advised not getting in touch with him (I'm usually the one that sends txts and things first) until he gets in touch with me to see if he starts to miss me and makes more of an effort...good idea?

Thanx peeps
xHx

[Capacity]

Hai.

When you see someone who you have strong feelings for so frequently, it's only normal to feel far away from them when you don't see them for a short period of time. There could be many reasons why you're not seeing him. It's possible that all the work that he's doing at crazy hours just means that he hasn't got as much time to spend with you as he wants. Although you think that you'd might as well be in a proper relationship, some guys don't click on to these things and as long as you're not an official couple you will both have a different idea about what's happening between you. Although he may well realise that you're good together, he may not think of it on the same level as you. I would advise that you decide what you're going to do; become a couple.

If he's made the effort to get in touch with you every day, it can only be a good thing. If he's working hard and dodgey hours it could be taking a lot out of his life, and it's possible (especially if you've just left school/college) that he wants to spend some time with his friends and he might be worried that he wont see much of them anymore. If he has seemed to be a little anxious or has had any problems lately, it's good to give him a bit of room to sort his head out but offer support if he needs it.

There aren't any obvious reasons for his behavior and you're not stupid for thinking it. Paranoid, yes ;p - I wouldn't expect any different though from anyone in the same situation. If you like him, then you obviously want to be around him etc and if you're not getting this it'll put you on worry. Combine this with the fact that you've been hurt before and you have even more reason to worry. I'm not going to tell you what you already know; instead I'm going to suggest that you take some of your friends' advice. When he's ready, he'll contact you. Chasing him, while not doing any harm, will only show him a side of you that he's better not seeing. In the meantime, just occupy yourself with your friends and have a bit of fun without him.

Let us know how it goes.

Tom.

[Sparklie]

Thank you :)

You've put my mind at ease and put things a little more in perspective. Much appreciated. I shall see how things go and leave him to sort himself out. I've got enough worries of my own at the moment with other stuff going on in my life so I think that's why I'm stressing over him too. I'll try and just let things be.

[*§atania*]

Don't worry, I know exactly how you feel! I spend a lot of time together with my bf, it seems that afterwards he's distant, and it's always me that texts him first or calls him or arranges to meet up again!

Some people are just like that, I think you're getting paranoid, just like me! And I still do. There's nothing you can do really to change it, but then again, if you think about it, it's not exactly a problem.

:)