The 'Ban Southerners From Using The Internet' campaign manifesto

[Lemur]

We, at the 'BSFUTI' party, believe that actions have to be taken in order to stop the standards of the internet falling.

It has been proved that there is a distinct correlation between the amount of AOL CDs distributed in Braintree each week and the amount of "Pretentious Imbecilic Stupid Self-Obsessed Southerners" (PISSO'S, coincidently a new breakfast cereal in north london) body-boarding the internet's forums with their inane tales of suburbian life and their perpetual pursuing of pussy by the means of pleading, stalking and general scary behaviour.

BSFUTI (not to be confused with the 'Bee Stings For soUtherner-girls Tits Institution) proposes the following two actions to be taken to prevent more of the above happening.

1: A 'Silicon Curtain' is to be erected just south of the midlands which runs right round the southern coast of England and thus encircling the south. The silicon curtain will stop phone lines from carrying digital signals, effectively meaning that southerners will no longer be able to communicate with the outside world on a computer.
However, because of the amount of ISP providers based in London, PISSOs will still be able to communicate with each other, and will thus still be able to create their vast empires of potty arse-licking on any forum of their choice without harming the eyes and the sanity of the world.

2: AOL is to be nuked. This will also solve 95.5% of the internet's problems anyway.

There are also two other measures to be taken:

1: 'Young and Sexy' will be re-located to Edinburgh for the purposes of our 'S.E.X.4.R.&.S.' scheme. you can work that one out yourselves ; )

2: Braintree is to be nuked. This will also solve 95.5% of the world's problems.

This has been the BSFUTI campaign's manifesto. Thankyou, goodnight.

DISCLAIMER: If any of the above has offended you, we do not take responsibility for your inability to just ignore this stupid thread :)

whats this? a harshly worded PM from Susie? its not thursday already is it? wahay!

[DG]

Don't like a lot of the major lines that carry internet run through docklands??

If so you'd be screwed if you got your wish

[Lemur]

Originally posted by DiamondGeezer
Don't like a lot of the major lines that carry internet run through docklands??

If so you'd be screwed if you got your wish

aha! tis a fault in our plan!

AMENDMENT:

As some parts of the south are important for connecting the north to the world, a special line will run from Birmingham to Paris, running through London. This line will be guarded by a team of specially comissioned BPWGs (Big People With Guns). In the event that any southerner tries to use this line to connect with the world, they will be shot. Twice.

[Skateside]

This means I won't be able to talk to anyone anymore :crying:

[The Doc]

So are you going to keep the whole of Midlands, or cut half of it off? It may be a good idea to get rid of Gloucestershire and Worcestershire, and give Herefordshire to Wales.

[morrocan roll]

it pisses me right off that people in the south think that birmingham is all about northennessss.
it's the fucking MID lands.
life is so much better in the north ...recently scientificaly proven.

[Young and sexy]

I was gonna reply to this with a big :|. But then...

Originally posted by Lemur
1: 'Young and Sexy' will be re-located to Edinburgh for the purposes of our 'S.E.X.4.R.&.S.' scheme. you can work that one out yourselves ; )
I can deal with that ;)

Go ahead with the rest.

[RiSe & ShIne]

Originally posted by Lemur

1: 'Young and Sexy' will be re-located to Edinburgh for the purposes of our 'S.E.X.4.R.&.S.' scheme. you can work that one out yourselves ; )


:D

[*Lisa*]

Originally posted by Lemur
1: 'Young and Sexy' will be re-located to Edinburgh for the purposes of our 'S.E.X.4.R.&.S.' scheme. you can work that one out yourselves ; )

Haha. :heart:

[blonde__batman]

its only because you northeners are threatened by us southeners. we are obviously much better looking than you and much more intelligent (with the exception of braintree)

[Captain Slog]

Originally posted by Skateside
This means I won't be able to talk to anyone anymore :crying: I think thats the point!

[budda]

Sounds like a fine plan, we dont like you coal eating northern bastards anyway.

Braintree is indeed an issue, but we can deal with that by just pushing the whole of essex into the sea and then bombing it.

As for AOL, is there anyone left stupid enough to actually sign up to it? Curious, well they can be culled.

[*TiNK*]

Originally posted by blonde__batman
its only because you northeners are threatened by us southeners. we are obviously much better looking than you and much more intelligent (with the exception of braintree)

lol ooooh!

Im not sure where i come in, im an ex surrey girl, with a southern accent, living up north :confused:

[budda]

Well your with them now, it was your choice, you'll be given no mercy just because of where you grew up.

[paperBprincess]

all fairness - if you just shut down aol and nuked braintree. that would be the whole problem solved.

[*TiNK*]

Originally posted by bongbudda
Well your with them now, it was your choice, you'll be given no mercy just because of where you grew up.

oh, :(

[blonde__batman]

Originally posted by *TiNK*
lol ooooh!

Im not sure where i come in, im an ex surrey girl, with a southern accent, living up north :confused:


well...personally i think we can overlook the fact that you have to move, its not as if you had much choice or anything! :p

[morrocan roll]

it was us northeners what invented the modern world i'll have you know.

[morrocan roll]

excuse my thickness just this once but how does this thread belong in comps and net?

[budda]

Because, erm, theres something about the Internet in it.

(watches as thread which could have been funny shrivels and dies)

[morrocan roll]

Originally posted by bongbudda
Because, erm, theres something about the Internet in it.

oh yeah ...duh.

[RiSe & ShIne]

The mods are getting a bit too trigger happy in their old age.

[RiSe & ShIne]

S'up.

[Kavokei]

Haha - I found that very amusing... especially since I was born in Kent and now live in the north-west. However, I have spotted the fatal flaw in your plan, and I intend confuse the fuck out of you by sitting with my laptop on the London - Glasgow train and travelling up and down the country.... mwahahahahaha :D

[budda]

Yes, but when we build the wall to stop those coal eating northern gits getting to us you'll be stuck on one side or the other.

[Skateside]

But what if you had a laptop and were in a plane? :chin:

[ShyBoy]

lmao @ the mods moving this :razz:

[Gavman]

aye i honestly dont get why it's been moved (although most of the others i do agree with). It might just be me missing something (and yes i know it mentions the internet and all)

But anyway i think its the northeners that need cutting off from the net tbh (and that has nothing to do with me living in the south... honest! )

[ShyBoy]

Originally posted by Gavman
aye i honestly dont get why it's been moved (although most of the others i do agree with). It might just be me missing something (and yes i know it mentions the internet and all)

But anyway i think its the northeners that need cutting off from the net tbh (and that has nothing to do with me living in the south... honest! )

I don't care if it's northerners or southerners, I'm a midlander! :razz:

[jake0]

Originally posted by Gavman
aye i honestly dont get why it's been moved (although most of the others i do agree with). It might just be me missing something (and yes i know it mentions the internet and all)

But anyway i think its the northeners that need cutting off from the net tbh (and that has nothing to do with me living in the south... honest! )

aye ;)

us southerners need to stick together ;)

[budda]

Originally posted by TheShyBoyInTheCorner
I don't care if it's northerners or southerners, I'm a midlander! :razz:

There is no mid-lands its a lie. Your either a Southerner or your one of them .

[*TiNK*]

Originally posted by blonde__batman
well...personally i think we can overlook the fact that you have to move, its not as if you had much choice or anything! :p

Yey! :D

[Makoto]

Can we not just export the Mids, Braintree and the North to Kuwait?

P.s, I was watching Eastenders ages ago and they cracked a lame joke Braintree.

Dirt Dens bird said she went out with a guy called Brian Tree who lived in Braintree :rolleyes:.

[Godders]

Originally posted by *TiNK*
lol ooooh!

Im not sure where i come in, im an ex surrey girl, with a southern accent, living up north :confused:

Southern accent my arse! U scouser!

But to me you are a southener. Dont wana be messing with the munkeys.:p

[The Doc]

Originally posted by bongbudda
There is no mid-lands its a lie. Your either a Southerner or your one of them .

One of us. One of us. One of us.

Well actually I'm in the same position but I'm so close to Cheshire that if it came to the worst, I WOULD be Northern.

[paperBprincess]

it's only cos the northern birds cant take the competition to be honest.

[Lil Laura]

Originally posted by paperBprincess
it's only cos the northern birds cant take the competition to be honest.

You wish. Southern fairy. :p

[paperBprincess]

Originally posted by Lil Laura
You wish. Southern fairy. :p and you're what? a northern coal pit?


<333

[Lil Laura]

Originally posted by paperBprincess
and you're what? a northern coal pit?


<333

Northern Goddess, dahhling. ;)

<333

[Godders]

Originally posted by paperBprincess
it's only cos the northern birds cant take the competition to be honest.

agreed southern birds are much better. And as for the southern lads.....:rolleyes: